Suicidal Mate

Chapter seventeen

Vanity's pov

I stared at the tests. Both negative. I sighed, but not a sigh of relief like I thought. I thought if the test was negative then I would feel relief.

It isn't until now I realize how much I secretly wanted a child.

I looked down at my feet and let some silent tears slip. Ever since the miscarriage I've been crying a lot.

I think it's because I tried holding all the emotions in and now I've finally let them out.

"Vanity, look." Caine said pointing to the test on the left. I lifted my head up and looked at it. I saw one line and one very faint line.

"Oh my gosh! How do we know its right?" I asked.

He pulled another one out of the first box. "We take another one. This will be the tie breaker."

After peeing on the stick and another long two minutes the timer dinged. "You look, I'm too nervous." I said sitting one the toilet lid.

He peered over the counter. He showed no emotion in his face that I could read.

"Well?" I asked nervously. He turned to me and grinned. "Two lines." He said. "Really?" I asked hopeful.

"Come look." He said joy in his voice. I got up and looked. And sure enough there were two lines. And this one was more noticeable.

"Oh my gosh! We're pregnant!" I exclaimed. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back.

I knew this meant I would have to eat a lot more to make room and keep my stress level down. The last one shouldn't be a problem though.

I smiled and for the first time in years I felt happiness again. True happiness. It felt amazing.

"I can't believe it." I said looking down at my stomach. I put my hand and using my other hand I put Caine's.

He smiled. "Tomorrow we'll see the pack doctor." He said. I smiled and hugged him again.

I really hope I don't loose this one. I think one miscarriage is enough.

We went into the living room and turned on the TV. I couldn't pay attention though. I was too happy to be given another chance at a baby and to be parents.

Maybe there wasn't a deeper meaning than the medical reasons for the miscarriage we won't know.

When this baby gets older I know we'll tell them about their older sister. We have an ultrasound picture of her.

We already framed it and hung it up on the wall above the fireplace. We decides that's where we'll keep family pictures.

I rested my head on Caine's lap. He messed with my hair and I closed my eyes.

This is where I belong. Here with Caine and our baby. I'm sorry but I refuse to call him or her a pup. That makes him or her sound like a dog which usually offends werewolves.

Maybe we'll have more kids but I think we need to make sure this one comes into the world first.

Because I'll settle for one kid. Of course I wouldn't mind more but if one is all we get I'll be ok. I don't really care the amount we have honestly. As long as this happiness feeling stays.

I pictured what it would be like to be parents. I'd probably breast feed. I couldn't wait to have a kid.

I guess deep down my whole life I've wanted a family. This is kind of a second chance.

I can give my kids the family I never had. I opened my eyes and looked over to the fire place and saw the picture of Celeste.

Maybe when I die again I'll see her. Never thought I'd say "when I die again."

Then again life is always full of surprises. Even bad ones.

"I'm going to bed" I said and sat up and walked upstairs to our room.

I laid down and smiled. I'm pregnant. I just hope this one lasts.

______

I woke up and Caine was laying next to me.

It was eight thirty in the morning and I didn't want to wake him so I turned the tv on low and started watching hot in Cleveland which is surprisingly funnier than I thought.

My favorite is Elka. She's played by Betty White.

I was watching the episode where Joy was trying to get her grandson to be taken care of by a doctor and the son was gay.

It's a complicated episode.

Caine slowly sat up and and groaned opening his eyes, obviously still tried. He closed eyes eyes again and rested his head on my shoulders and buried his face in my neck.

And then I remembered yesterday and a smile grew on my face. I was pregnant again. I knew this meant I had to be very careful with myself now. I'd have to go to the pack doctor and see how this pregnancy will work.

"Get up sleepy head." I said taking his head off my shoulder. "What time do we go to the pack doctor?" I asked. "Around nine. What time is is now?" He asked. I looked at the clock. "Eight forty five." I said and he groaned.

"If you don't get up we won't have sex for two months." I said, and he shot up out of the bed. "I'm going." He said walking over to the closet.

I looked down and I was wearing sweats and a hoodie with a tank top under the hoodie. If I'm just getting the pregnancy checked out at the pack doctor who should I be trying to impress?

I don't need to impress anyone. Yeah I'm the luna and should try to look presentable and be the perfect little luna that they want. But sorry that's not who I am.

Honestly lunas are portrayed as some housewife who just shows up with a smile on her face and has all the alpha's kids and stands by the alpha as some trophy wife figure. I refuse to be that luna.

I mean yes I am having the alpha's kid but I've been pushed around my whole life and forced to act like a perfect family and then behind closed doors we weren't.

"Ready to go?" Caine asked. I nodded. We walked down the stairs and over to the pack house which is where the pack doctor's office was.

"Good morning Alpha, Luna." She said bowing her head and I smiled. "So I understand you had two positive pregnancy tests and wanted to make sure they were accurate?" She asked and I nodded.

She led me to a bed and did what she did the other times with the cold gel and tube on my stomach thing.

"Yep there is definitely a child. Congratulations." She said and I smiled. "Now Luna since you and Caine both have alpha blood, this pregnancy will be different. Instead of four months your pregnancies will all be two months. I'll want you to come visit me once a week for an ultrasound check. And about next week or the week after is when we'll be able to determine the gender."

I nodded and she handed me a pamphlet about pregnancy. I was so happy to be given a second chance to have a kid.

I could tell Caine was too. We decided we would wait to tell the pack until we found out what the gender was.

The papers the pack doctor gave me said that when the pregnancy was half over I wouldn't miscarry instead if I were to then I would go into labor early.

So according to Caine if I'm not at the pack doctor I have to be on bed rest until the second month. I tried protesting but Caine wouldn't change his mind.

When we got home he made me go staright upstairs and in the bed.

The only time I can get up is when I go to the bathroom. Caine will be taking back over as alpha in a week so he's going to be watching me until then but he'll be doing it in the office downstairs.

I hope this idea will work. And I hope that I won't have to do this with all pregnancies.

If we have more kids I mean. I'm sure we will though. Most alphas have at least two or three kids.

I wish I didn't have to stay in this bed for a month though.

A/N I NEED NAME SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!