The Lyre: Harry Styles Fanfiction

The Way That I've Been Holding On Too Tight

(Gwen)

The harp music that I set my alarm to on my phone began to play, telling me it was ten minutes past eight in the morning.

Without moving or opening my eyes, I reached over to slap around on my nightstand to find it.

When my hand flew through the air, not making contact with a table, I opened my eyes.

Oh yeah
I came here at Zayn's last night with Lila
And we've got orientation this morning

I turned off my alarm, stretched, sat up and walked into the guest bathroom to pee. The bathroom was set up like a suite, thank God because I had nothing with me.

It was stocked with extra shampoos, conditioners, soaps, toothbrushes, lotions and everything else you'd need.

After brushing my teeth,
I left the room to find Lila. Before I rounded the corner in the hallway, I heard voices coming from the direction of the kitchen.

I walked closer, quietly and recognized Lila's voice.

"Zayn, it's not about earning money. You've always given me everything I've ever wanted. It's about wanting to help kids who need it", Lila said.

"Kaly, not psychology", Zayn said to her.

"A therapist helped me when I was little. I was scared and lost and mute. I'd love to be able to do that, even if I could help just one kid", Lila retorted.

"I'm glad you got the help you needed, Kaly, but what if working with disturbed children triggers something? What if there are things from your early childhood that are best left forgotten? I'm afraid for you. As usual", Zayn said, his voice soft and caring.

"What? Do you think I'll be talking to a little girl and suddenly a memory will surface, then I'll have a psychotic breakdown or go insane or something?", Lila asked, disbelieving Zayn's concern.

"Well....I don't....I mean, yeah, maybe? Something like that. Normally when a person has blocked things out of their memory, it's a survival mechanism.
They're guarding themselves from something traumatic and Kalila, you don't remember a thing from your birth to ten years old, then only a couple of random memories from ten to twelve years old. There's a reason. And it scares me", Zayn confessed quickly, almost nervously.

"Zayn....lets say that happened. Let's say I recollect things from my past and the memories are horrible. That would tell me that I remembered them because my subconscious knew I was finally able to handle them", Lila said back.

"Kalila, your....anxiety attacks have started up again....running when you feel....confronted or threatened like you used to....", Zayn's voice deepened.

"....do you think it's a good idea to add the stress of studying psychological conditions and disorders?"

I heard Zayn take a deep breath and there was silence for a few seconds.

"This is just so out of the blue. You've never expressed any interest in college", he said.

"I didn't have any until now. Maybe I'm just getting older and want to contribute something back to society. Be useful", Lila said, making me love her even more than I already did.