Of Fallacies And Fate

t w e n t y f i v e

"And I watch my words from a long way off. They are more yours than mine.They climb on my old suffering like ivy"
-Pablo Neruda.

❢ t w e n t y f i v e ❢

There was some weird magic in travelling.

Or that's what Samairah thought. Because right now, as she wordlessly stared out of the window of the ever so continuously moving vehicle, she felt she was living magic.

Her thoughts galloped inside her mind, with a free reign. Unleashed. They scrambled here, there and everywhere. And she just sat there still, as the images of the world outside the glass flashed in swift motion. Her subconscious running its own accord of memories, thoughts and epiphanies.

Although she could sit and think anytime, anywhere but just thinking while the world whirred by in front of your eyes, was some feeling she could never name. It transferred her to a place where she just sat and thoughts floated inside her mind.

Just her and her mind. And her thoughts. Sometimes they ate her inside, sometimes they made her happy. Sometimes it got so chaotic that she needed a break from her very own thoughts and sometimes it felt so serene. Sometimes she felt that she finally figured out life and sometimes she felt that she made everything more messier than ever.

And each time she had these moments, one thought was inevitable.

About him.

Now, she wondered what had she made of her mind. Why had she ever fallen so hard for someone?

Was it even normal to adore someone with that much intensity? Or was it just her who did that.

Normal or not, she felt that she was destroying her life centering it around a person.

Because that was not the way. You don't make your home in a person who is bound to go away from you. You don't make your home in someone's heart. Humans after all were unpredictable, unreliable.

As her body whizzed through the roads, she realised that she had it figured out wrong all along. You don't make your home in a human. You don't pour out all your energy after a soul, who is just bound to not realise what you're doing. You don't make your entire existence about some other human.

They will never appreciate what you do. Because they will never understand you, they will never understand the intensity with which you feel for them, they will never understand how high you put them on the pedestal. And the mistake, the mistake was not theirs.

The mistake was expecting something so great from fickle humans. The mistake was just yours.

Some things you could only expect from a greater entity. Some things you shouldn't even bother to wonder why humans would never understand.

Because in the end, it was Allah SWT and Him alone who created you the way you are. And in the end, its going to be only Him who will understand you, why you are the way you are. Why you do, the things you do. Why you make all those mistakes, after knowing not to. Why you end up running after fires, which will only end up burning you.

It was Allah SWT.

She had to make her life about Him. About her Lord. And soon, she would find her peace, she would find her home.

And it was now that she realised that no matter how hard she tried, she could never be happy making homes here, in this ephemeral world. Her true home, a believer's true home, was in Jannah after all.

-*-

"Gosh, Samairah where were you?", Saba almost shrieked from the college grounds no sooner did Samairah exit her car.