Of Fallacies And Fate

⏫ s i x ⏬

"For as long as there is pain in this world, there will be those who will write about it. In stories, in songs, in poetry, in books, there will be those who will immortalise it". - Nikita Gill.

{ s i x }

3:15 AM

Rayhaan sneaked a glance against the watch on his bed stand, eyes half closed as sleep overtook him. He mentally calculated the time he could sleep before he had to wake up for college. Give or take he could get six hours of sleep, he would have to miss the first class, not that it mattered. He would've missed the entire day tomorrow because he was too exhausted from all the work his Dad made him do but he couldn't miss college tomorrow, it was her first day. And thinking of the prospect of seeing her, all his exhaustion faded away. A smile formed on his lips as he relished the fact that he had met her once again after all these years. The smile persisting as he drifted off peacefully to sleep, her thoughts overpowering his subconscious, her memories coming alive in his dreams.

3:15 AM

Samairah woke up with a start, looked up at the clock and groaned. She had a nightmare. Not that terrible, but it had been a bad dream. It was about him. Now, her nightmares were about losing him. She felt a slight headache grow from frustration that after all these years she was back to square one. And him, he was the same. He hadn't even spared her a glance that day. She didn't want to face him. No matter how much she convinced herself, his nonchalant attitude regarding her broke her heart. It didn't just break her heart but crushed it into pieces which he trampled upon ruthlessly in his ignorance and walked away. She just lay there, cocooned on her bed, trying to not think about him at all as she waited for sleep to overtake her subconscious. She didn't wanted to be awake at this time of the night alone, all she'd do was think about him and every way he hurt her from the start. But sleep never came and she ended up doing what she was afraid of. All the memories rushed back to her mind. It was like she was pouring salt on her own wounds. 

4:00 AM

She looked at the time again. Forty five minutes had passed and she knew that she won't be able to sleep now, how much ever she tried. She got up from bed, her heart felt so heavy from all the mourning she had done. She wiped off her tears, drank a glass of water, took some deep breaths and sat there thinking of ways to distract herself, to distract her mind to anything but him.
 
Suddenly, she remembered that she could read Tahajjud prayers. She immediately proceeded to do Wudhu and stood in front of her Lord. The sweetness of Qiyam-ul-Layl overtaking her. There was some exquisite feeling in praying to Al-Wadoud at this time of the night. The time where He is said to be descended upon the lower skies asking for believers to come ask Him whatever they wanted. She felt her tears flow unabashedly as she knelt down in rukuh and in sujood she couldn't stop herself, she poured out all the sadness in her heart. Once she was done with the namaaz, she sat on the prayer rug doing dhikhr before she made her dua. And in that moment, she felt infinite amount of peace. Her heart no longer felt heavy. An unexplainable feeling of protection overwhelmed her, as if she was in a bubble which protected her from this wretched world. Those were the after effects of her prayers and she was glad she had decided to pray instead of sulking on her bed, her thoughts eating her mind. Even though she knew nothing had changed, she felt an odd sense of confidence that grew in her out of nowhere. And when she held her hand up for duaa, whatever misery was left in her heart, she poured it all out in the form of tears as she asked her Lord for forgiveness for all the sins she had committed. Her mind rewinded to the free conversation she had with Nikhil or how she had looked directly in the eyes of Rayhaan or how she had wasted all her time thinking and over thinking about him and she felt immense guilt wash over her. She asked for forgiveness over and over, with a sinking feeling in her heart that she might repeat all those mistakes. She would try her best not to, she thought.