Of Fallacies And Fate

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#9th in Spiritual! Yay! Under Top Ten! Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. :D

"I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realised that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you." -Cassandra Clare.

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Sunlight streamed through the glass windows illuminating the classroom which was almost vacant as the students deserted it at the ring of the bell. Yet Soheb didn't move an inch from his place. He sat right there bedazzled as she waved him goodbye and walked towards her friends. His long leg leaned against the rod that framed the bench below, while his hand cupped his warm face that gazed at Samairah.

A smile crept up on his face at her actions, the way her face lighted up when she finally approached her friends or the way she gave a tiny laugh at some joke that was cracked between them or how the sadness slowly exudated from her face as she sought her best friends company. Scorching rays of sunlight wasn't the only thing that warmed up his face, the blood gushing up through the carotid and flushing up his cheeks also had a lot to do with it.

Soheb Zia Mahmood, get a grip over yourself.

He tried to shake her thoughts away from his mind but failed miserably. She looked beyond pretty in the combination of yellow and blue. He had some knowledge on women's dressing, all thanks to his lovely sister who always dragged him out for shopping with her or who never stopped asking for his advice on which outfit to chose for different occasions. Based on that knowledge, he knew that Samairah had an impeccable dressing sense. Or maybe it was her, each style suited her. Today she wore a yellow salwar kameez with embroidered work which she paired up with a navy blue elegantly draped hijaab and crocheted shrug which he thought must be to cover up the entire length of her arms. He didn't fail to notice the same shade of blue peep toes that adorned her feet or the golden watch with navy blue strap that nestled on her hand. She looked mesmerising.

Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah. Astaghfirullah.

And suddenly in the midst of all these thoughts, he realised how haraam his thinking had become. He was taking in her appearance, being a non mahram when indeed he should have lowered his gaze. He quickly muttered Astaghfaar at his improper thoughts, smacking himself mentally to not repeat it again. He thought that it was just an infatuation and it wouldn't be a big deal if he spoke to her. But he was so wrong. It went deeper than he had realised. But now that he realised, he made a resolution to stay away from Samairah as it would do no good to both of them in the end. Maybe if by the time he was ready, he could ask for her in a halal way but for now, he had to maintain his distance.

Feeling silly that it was only him left in the classroom, he packed his belongings and hurried outside. If it was Shaytaan who seemed hell bent to not give up on him or if it was his weak control against his nafs, his resolution hardly lasted for five minutes because the moment he stepped out from classroom Samairah gave him a deep gaze, gratitude swelling in them as she nodded towards the long paper glass of milkshake and back at him. He smiled back warmly at her, happy that Nikhil's idea had worked in cheering her up and her thoughts consumed his mind once again.

-*-

Samairah walked upto her friends the moment the bell rang signalling the end of the class. Although, Soheb had done a lot to cheer her up and she didn't feel the ocean of emotions that she felt freshly after she had been reprimanded by her stern teacher, she still felt a blanket of sadness engulfing her. Now, she could put a mask over her face and put on a happy pretense though.