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Chapter Thirty- Best Safety Lies In Fear

Alice had not come home that night. Roy took great advantage of that, cooking MacKenzie a nice dinner and drawing her a bubble bath. He wondered whatever MacKenzie went to pick up, but he was actually glad Alice poured her heart out to him. It was almost a relief, a sort of closure. But he rather despised her now, and yes, he didn't love her one bit.

He kissed MacKenzie deeply when she returned,  making the decision of not telling her of the coffee conversation with Alice. She did the thing she always did, MacKenzie's way of slowly sliding on to Roy's lap, crossing her legs and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, kissing him on the mouth, nose, and eyebrows. Roy always wondered about the eyebrows, but she always ran her fingers across them.

He brought her to bed, the blankets nearly made and a single candle lit, slowly transferring next to her, a process he slowly began to get used to an accept as the year dragged on, and she studied him, grinning, dressed in a silk nightgown, cheeks flushed and hair brushed.

"You're kind of graceful when you do that," she commented, curling up against him and resting her head on his chest.

"Every day," Roy responded quietly, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh.

"Hey," MacKenzie whispered. "I wanna try standing tomorrow."

That would be something Dahlia would say.

"Of course you do."

"I know you'll get better at it. You know it's gonna be a year next month. It would be nice to prove Dr. Sharpe wrong."

"Prove him wrong of what."

"I don't know if they told you but he said there was no chance of you ever having full function again. Of anything. I can tell you have almost full control of your torso now. It's noticeable. Not to mention...we humped."

"Yeah we did hump," Roy chuckled faintly.

"Even just observing you get into bed tonight." MacKenzie looked up and smiled. "You showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the nighr standing. That was the first time I ever looked you right in the eye. You're so goddamn tall, Roy. And you're knees locked." She kissed him. "You're doing so much better. And I'm so fucking proud of you I could die."

"Don't you die on me."

"I gotta tell you something," she said softly.

"Yeah."

"When you left, I wanted to die."

"Whys that?"

"Because I felt I was a part of you. Even though I barely knew you and you barely knew me. After that short time we spent together I felt a part of my heart was ripped out of my chest."

"I'm really fucking sorry."

"Don't be. I watched you on that operating table. I saw them bring you in and how awful you looked. I didn't even think you'd make it. And later by luck I'd stumble across you and I gave you my body. I've only ever made love three times. And for some reason I needed to give myself to you."

"You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve how I treated you. Not after all you've done for me. I shouldn't have the privilege of sleeping next to you."

"I know why you did it. I would have done the same thing. If I was in your position. I would've done anything to get the hell out of here. Everyone needs to escape."

"I'm afraid to get too attached to people because I'm afraid they're going to leave."

"Me too."

"Then we have that in common."

"I'm never gonna leave you."

"I hope."

"I promise."

MacKenzie blew out the candle and ran her fingers through Roy's hair. She traced his cheekbones, outlined his eyebrows, and nuzzled the bridge of his nose.

"I'm gonna stand next to you every step of the way," she whispered.

"Thank you."

"I also know where you're keeping the coke." She turned over on her side.

"Right."

Roy fell asleep fairly quicker than usual, expecting a dreamless sleep and got it, and slept completely soundly.

Not quite.

At an instance in the middle of the night, he believed himself to be dreaming. A voice came in and out of his head, his vision blurred and patchy. But with a sudden slap of a hand across his face, his eyes shot open, and MacKenzie was shaking him, screaming.

"What..."

"Roy you need to get up there's someone outside."

"Huh?"

He sat upright, MacKenzie hurrying out of bed and creeping to the door.

"The window," she whimpered. "I got up to pee and when I came back someone was out there."

Roy wheeled over to the curtainless window and peered out.

"There's nothing, honey. You probably imagined it."

"Fuck, Roy, it was some guy wearing a rabbit mask."

"Nice dream," Roy began to get back into bed but MacKenzie stopped him. There was a knock at the front door.

"Okay," Roy said quietly. "Go in the bathroom. There's no windows. You're fine. This is fine."

"Why do I have a feeling this has something to do with narcotics," MacKenzie said through gritted teeth.

And Roy agreed, peering through the front window, but seeing no one. He knew who it was. Someone. Someone with Holger. Or someone who owed him money, or wanted money, or flour, who knew who Roy was.

"Go back to bed, there's no one out there. They left. They were probably just trying to scare us." He rubbed MacKenzie's back. She sniffled.

"I'm done," she shook her head. "I love those girls but I'm not working there anymore. And you're done at the diner. This was a mistake."

"Did your patient keep drugs in her apartment before she died?"

"Only a bunch of cash I stole to pay your rent."

"Nice..."

"I'm not gonna sleep tonight."

"We don't have to," Roy said calmly.

And instead they stared at each other in the candlelight.