Pose | Fuenciado

8

Pink and purple hues line the horizon. Red and orange blend into the white blue hazed clouds. The great orange yellow ball of light slowly sinks past the line of land.

The sound of my camera's shutter is the only noise past the wind and calm waves hitting shore.  The ocean breeze pulls my shirt back, the loose fabric tight against my torso, the excess flapping behind me.

I raise my camera back up to my eye, capturing the ever changing sky. Sunsets are my favorite, always have been, always will be.  Winter ones are the best, when even the light pinks and oranges give off a frosty glow.

The waves lap gently at my feet, the water is warm, it's always warm here.

I keep my finger on the shutter button, but lower the camera.

I stare out into the distance. The natural beauty of a setting sun never fails to amaze me. The sharp yet soft and blending colors, the clouds, the fact the entire thing is happening because the planet I'm thriving on is spinning thousands of miles an hour in a never ending paradise of stars. It's a phenomenon not enough of us realize, or take advantage of.

  I leave the camera down, I want to have this silent, peaceful moment without the black box in front of my face.

The sun is almost set, the deepest of oranges and reds are all that's left against the blue tinged grey and black changing sky. Stars are peaking out from behind the curtain of color. This is my favorite part of the 24 hour cycle. It's so simply and naturally beautiful, nothing a human could recreate or interfere with, it's one of the last pure and untouched things left in the world.

The sun sinks past the horizon, the colored sky is now quickly fading into grey, more and more stars appearing. I could stay out and lay in the sand, stare up at the constellations. But not tonight, I just want to get home.

I want to go home, but not actually home. I've been craving somewhere, someone, but I don't know who or what, but I want them in an indescribable way.

That's why I came out here, besides the photography opportunity. I thought maybe the nagging feeling in my head and stomach was the wanting to be alone, to be surrounded by my thoughts. To be somewhere completely breathtaking, to experience the daily phenomenon of a sunset in a place where the wind whips through my hair and the waves touch my feet.

But this isn't it. Although the scenic feeling was amazing, I should really do this more often. This wasn't what I've been wanting so badly. 

 I know what it is that I want, but I don't want to admit it. It's Vic. The fact the small brunet can have me wrapped around his finger this soon after meeting him bothers me, I shouldn't be this easy to win over. I need to be stronger, I can't just cave into some model I met last week. 

 The main reason I refuse to give into the voice telling me to contact the pretty boy is the fact he  bailed on dinner plans last night. I don't know why it hurts so much, he wasn't rude about it, in fact he was extremely kind, he called and everything, and asked if I'd like to set up a different night, and explained that an urgent family thing came up and he's really sorry and would still like to see me again. 

 I'm upset that he has this effect on me, that him saying no, in even the kindest of ways with a perfectly reasonable reason for cancelling can make me feel like this. I'm whipped and have only known the guy for a day.