Cri De Coeur ||Mikayuu||

⚜27⚜

Ferid did manage to change the dresses to fit her costumes, by the way. No idea how the hell he did it, but they all managed to fit her tutu. Colette wasn't sure to be surprised or concerned with that man's skill on a sewing machine.

Mika went to sleep in his own bunk that night, the first time he's done so in a while. It was strange not having his presence near me, but I did in fact manage to fall asleep.

We had a battle for the restroom in the morning, Mika winning. Damn bastard was good at Rock Paper Scissors. He left after ten minutes, which didn't pass by quickly in my opinion. I knew he had pills, but who knew what else was in his morning routine.

For some reason Mika emerged from the bathroom chewing gum. When I asked him where the hell he got it from he stared at me for a long while before slowly shrugging, the bubble he blew exploding over his face. Lola went on to explain that she left a package in there on accident while fending Colette off of something, which I quickly realized was my knife. I intervened quickly, hiding it under my pillow.
"Aww, you're no fun!" Colette whined, stomping to the vanity mirror, sticking her tongue out at me once seated.
"Wouldn't know what you'd do with it once you hold the power." I pointed out.
"Stab someone."
"Exactly."
"Okay, yeah, that was a wise choice." She nodded.

"Yuu, you should probably stretch too." Mika said from the backstage floor, holding the impossible position of having an arm wrapped beneath his stretched out leg, head resting on his thigh as he stared at me, possibly amused by how shocked I was. I couldn't tell, honestly. It's really hard to tell when he's amused or happy at times.
"That rhymed. Dr. Seuss applauds Mika." Asuramaru commented. I ignored him.

"I should be fine." I said, silence settling as he switched legs, cocking a brow at me in doubt. "Okay, fine." I sighed, joining him although I wasn't quite as flexible, instead reviving high school gym stretches.

Boy did I not miss those.

"Okay, so, what did we learn today?" Colette asked.

"That the Ringleader sucks dicks!" Lola said excitedly, the subject of the statement spinning around, but didn't do anything once he met Ferid's gaze, which was mischievous, and almost dared the Ringleader to even try and hurt her. I knew that he was afraid of him although I didn't know why considering Mika was able to hand him his own ass, but it didn't matter. I was envious of the protection he and Lola earned from the fear. We had no protection. I tried to become a shield for Mika, and it worked for a short time. But then the Ringleader turned to a different method, breaking him again.

"No, that's not it." Colette sighed.

"We learned that Yuu's out of shape?" Mika asked. I hit him lightly up the head.

"Well, yes, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about how letting anyone except for myself, Yuu and Mika near the audience is a horrible idea." She said as the Ringleader ordered more people around. The story behind this was Lola's fault. She decided to get near the crowd and ended up falling into it, thankfully Ferid managed to snag her back. It was hilarious at the time, but I didn't dare laugh for fear of anyone noticing me. Asuramaru laughed nonstop, on the other hand, since no one but myself can hear him. The had crowd cheered, thinking it was a daring part of the act, when in reality, it was everyone in the circus having a heart attack.

I don't know what happened, or even what he did to deserve it, but Mika was being yelled at by the Ringleader. I only overheard it when I neared, and it had ended with Mika's eyes pinched shut. I attempted to soothe him, resulting in a very hard bash to the back of my head by the cane. I ended up falling to the floor with a massive headache, Mika now the one to assist me and make sure I was alright, seeming to have broken from whatever trance the Ringleader had put him in. I met his worried blue gaze that had no signs of pain or hurt in them, only panicked concern for me. As I nodded my head to his inquiries of my current state, eyes still locked with his, the only thing that raced through my head was the last words that I had heard with my arrival.
"He doesn't love you. No one could, with you as a monster. He pities you. There is no way that anyone could possess affection for a freak like you."

It seemed to cut deep with Mika, but he didn't care about it the moment he heard the cane strike my head. I did love Mika, possibly more than I always thought.

But it was the things like making sure I was alright that made me adore him even more.

We were the last back to the truck, and, as a result, the last ones to shower. So, we waited through the other three's showers of varying length, Mika mindlessly stroking my hair and allowing me to do the same. Bastard's hair was softer than a baby's skin. I flinched once when he accidentally applied pressure to what I guessed to be a quickly forming bruise on the back of my head, leading to him apologizing profusely for a good two minutes. Even when I told him that it was fine he still said sorry.

He's too sweet for his own good.

Mika went first in the shower once Lola pranced out, pulling hair from her finger joints absently, before getting tweezers with a sigh. The sound of running water once again filled the empty space, the conversation no longer including him.

"Hey guys, don't you think Mika's been in there for a while?" I asked. Lola shrugged, Colette checking a clock.

"It's been thirty minutes since he got in." She informed me, not very worried by it. I was a different case, standing from my bunk and approaching the bathroom.

I knocked on the door twice, pressing my ear to it to hear him. After no response I called his name with no success, taking initiative to unlock the door using my voodoo magic shit.
"It's manipulation magic, smart ass."
Same thing.

Okay, I've noticed a trend with Mika that is probably worth mentioning.

He has a thing with mental breakdowns and restrooms with locked doors.

Except this time he was naked and kneeling, head lowered with his hands pressed tightly to his ears.

I acted before I reacted as usual to this, racing into the shower and lifting Mika's torso up, heels of his hands pressing harder into his ears, brows knitted together, eyes pinched tightly shut. He didn't even acknowledge my presence.
"Shut up." He said, voice croaking barely above a whisper. Was he talking to the voice in his head? What was her name again? Krul?
"I doubt it. She's far kinder than I am."

One of his eyes shook open, twitching before locking with mine through the water pouring from the shower head. I had forgotten to turn it off before I lunged in, my clothes practically sticking to me at this point.
"Make it stop, Yuu. Please. I can't breathe." Mika whispered, lips twitching as he spoke.
"I can't. I don't know what you want me to stop." I said, my heart hurting to see him in a pain I couldn't see.
"The voices. Make them stop." He ordered, lowering a hand. I didn't know what was happening with him. So, instead, I hugged him tightly.

"He has more than one voice, Yuichiro. I don't think they're sentient, but I think they're the reason why the Ringleader's abuse cuts so deep. They must constantly remind him of everything."
I don't know why Asuramaru was so specific, as if he knew, but something from earlier needed to be cleared up. I had no clue what would happen once the words were said, but it was better to find out than what he's currently going through.

"I don't know how to stop the voices, but please know I really do love you."

Mika's shoulders slumped in relief, his face burrowing into the crook of my neck, arms going over my drenched shoulders. His lips pressed gently against my neck, lashes fluttering against the skin as he shut his eyes, sighing against my soaking skin. I swore I felt his lips twitch into a small smile hidden from my view, something he seemed to do more times than I thought.

"Thank you."