Cri De Coeur ||Mikayuu||

⚜31⚜

A painful silence was enveloped around us as we stood, looking outside through a window. The clouds were grey. The entire atmosphere was dark.
People met Mika's empty gaze, and rushed off. His hand seemed to grow ice cold in mine, vibrant blue eyes narrowing.
"They're afraid of me. Of the monster I am." He muttered. At this time, I had no words of reassurance. My mind was blank. Even the presence of Asuramaru was silent. I wanted to tell him that it was fine, that he was not the monster he so persistently believed himself to be. But I was at a loss for words. The more he insisted on it, the more I ran out of ways to tell him he wasn't one.

Instead, I squeezed his hand, saying the first thing that came to mind.
"Well, I'm not scared of you."
He gave me a wry smile. No, it wasn't quite that. The corners of his lips twitched upwards slightly. He wouldn't smile.
"I know you aren't, and I can't thank you enough for believing in that ridiculous ideal. But, unfortunately, we are one in the same." His intentions were pure, yet they instinctively belittled me. It hurt, of course, but I knew he didn't directly mean it.
"Although, I don't think you deserve it. Any of this." He muttered.
"Maybe I did, though." He pondered, aggressively shutting the curtains.

Then he consoled Colette before the show began, Lola fixing her makeup, which had either gotten smudged or ran down her face from tears. Those two seemed to have a relationship resembling mother and son. Who knew- from all I knew, she cared for him when his own mother and I could not. Both of them had an understanding between each other, I knew this well from small things. Both were broken shells of themselves, but they were still human.
Not a Lusus Naturae- a freak of Nature- or an Imitateur- Copycat.
They weren't monsters.

Define 'monster'

Noun.

Provided by a search on my phone one night.

"An imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening.

Wrong. He is as real as my love for him, and, quite frankly, the most attractive person I know.

"An inhumanly cruel or wicked person."

I may joke about it, but Mika is far kinder than he seems, and in a way he might not notice himself.

"a congenitally malformed or mutant animal or plant."

This was one I couldn't necessarily answer.

In a sense, this applied to him. Both of us have gone through an experiment that mutated us into something we weren't. Depriving us of a vast majority of our humanity. Replacing them with supernatural creatures I never knew existed but didn't really question it at the time considering my best friend, who I thought was dead, was in front of me. Asuramaru told me they lived just like we did, and the world's history was a little bit different from ours. Historians liked to keep their existence under wraps.

But, I knew Mika wasn't a monster, even as I had begun to doubt it, I fought to sway it.

"Have you ever considered escaping?" I asked out of pure curiosity that night. His hands were inside my shirt on either side of me,and they reached my neck, thumbs rubbing the bottom of my jaw. He was laying on top of me, which was probably uncomfortable for him, but what did I know. Mika had accidentally kneed me in the dick in the process, if you were wondering. He sighed against my chest, eyes meeting mine.
"Of course I have, Yuu. But the Ringleader has eyes everywhere. Even here. There's a camera in Colette's vanity mirror." He said, the last part barely recognizable.
"When I tried to escape, he would find me, and, along with it, new and exciting ways to get to me. Lola doesn't seem to know about it, and I think Ferid wants to keep it that way,"
"Which is really strange. What kind of relationship do they even have?" I muttered.
"They're like siblings." Mika simplified it for me. "But I'm not quite sure myself. Sometimes it seems like Lola's a... Burden to him. You can't really tell it unless you've known them as long as I have."
"I'm an only child, so hell if I know." I shrugged. He rolled his eyes at my joke, pressing his lips to my chest.

"Idiot."

I laughed quietly, he rolled off of me so he could sleep, although I already missed his presence. Despite the fact we weren't 'officially' together, we still did rather romantic things, but I have noticed he times it. In the morning before everyone wakes up, at a small period in the midday and in the afternoon when everyone's asleep. Even then, it wasn't forever. I wondered why he did at specific times, but,  Asuramaru decided to gracefully return with some words of wisdom.
"The Ringleader's gotta shit, eat, and sleep, you dumbass. Your boyfriend's been following a pattern that you're apparently too blinded by the gay to see. My wild guess would be that if he did it any other time, abuse to both of you would follow the next day or soon after."
This demon returned with a bang. Well, a bang of sarcasm.
"On the topic of the word 'bang' -"
No.
"Hey, you've got some mad sexual tension and it's killing me. And I know Mika sure as hell won't do anything about it. You, on the other hand-"
What did I just say?

Asuramaru sighed, making an echoey, disgruntled noise. Mika was now curled up on the other side of me, apparently asleep. I was soon to follow. But, before I drifted to sleep, I heard him humming.
Bastard wasn't asleep. So, I death hugged him in my sleep. That resulted in him waking me up at midnight, very groggy as he flicked me upside the head. I snorted at tired Mika, apologized to him, and went back to sleep with him in a more comfortable death hug.

He sure as hell wasn't a monster if he could accidentally punch his love interest in the nose for waking him up in the middle of the night.

That was human nature.

And something I had grown to love about him.