Recover My Heart

Breaking Protocol

I could feel North's stare on me as I placed Silas Korba's patient chart in its designated place.

"What does it say?" He asked.

He had woken up from his nap towards the end of my study session with the charts, and up until this point had said nothing. I glanced over at him and shook my head.

"I'm sorry North, Doctor-Patient confidentiality."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're not a real doctor."

The line stung, but I had a feeling he meant for it to sting. He was trying to pick at me, to get me to give him what he wanted. I knew that he cared about his family, and their well-being, but I couldn't figure out a way to tell him what I'd just marked in the chart.

I turned away from him, deciding that ignoring him would be better than arguing with a weak patient.

"Sang."

I pulled out my responsibility sheet and crossed off the first two items, feeling accomplished. It was about noon, and I had skipped breakfast so my stomach was on edge, but I wasn't too hungry. I considered waiting for dinner, but knew if I pushed it off that I might forget about dinner as well.

Maybe an apple...

"Look. I just want to make sure you're going to do your job and not fuck up and kill my family," North started to say.

I tuned out the rest of his speech, wondering where the encouraging person from earlier on had gone. Maybe he was just sleep deprived, and in pain, so he was stressed out. Ha! He turns nice when normal people would turn grumpy! After scolding myself for making fun of a patient, I let his words reach my ears once more.

".. your family, you'd want someone who wasn't going to mix up the morphine and the fluids too."

A loud beeping noise came from the bed I knew belonged to Gabriel Coleman. My head whipped around as I read his charts. I slammed my hand into the red button behind his bed, the same button that was behind each bed. It would alert an actual doctor that there was a code red.

Someone was dying.

I read his heart monitor again, watching as it progressively got worse. Gabriel Coleman's injury list was unfinished, and he was currently on life support. The only thing keeping him alive at the moment, was the series of tubes and monitors connected to him.

But they could only do so much.

Gabriel Coleman needed to fight as well.

The fix to his heart failure was easy. A shot of adrenaline, and his heart should spike before falling back into a normal rhythm. The only problem was, no one had come into the room yet, and he would die before anyone else got here in time, and assessed the situation.

With North yelling at me in the background I made a reckless desicion. Save his life, and risk my spot in the program for administering medicine I wasn't approved for, or wait for someone, and let him die. I didn't hesitate. As I injected him with the adrenaline, he flatline for half a second. His heart jumped with the drugs, and then a beautiful sound was filling my ears. The steady beat of the monitor connected to his heart.

Gabriel Coleman wasn't about to die on my watch.

The doors burst open, and a man with grey peppered hair took in the scene before him. North had stopped yelling, but I could tell just by the way the air tried to suffocate me, that he was waiting for us to be left alone so he could yell some more. The thought made me nervous.

"Sang Sorenson?" the man, who I assumed was an actual Doctor, inquired.

I nodded silently, unable to deny administering a drug I wasn't cleared for, as the needle and vial were still in my hand. I watched him with wide eyes.

He strode over to the bedside confidently, and took all of Gabriel's vitals personally. I waited quietly, gripping the needle with an iron fist. When he'd finished, he glanced at me and nodded. A small smile graced his lips.

"Well done. You saved his life- and on your first day. You should be proud. I want you to log this incident in his patient chart. I'm Emmerson by the way, Doctor McAllister, but call me Emmerson. I am the head director of this recovery center. Come and see me with any questions or concerns you have." he started to leave the room, but right before he did, he turned. "Oh and Sang? Trust your instincts. You were chosen for this program because you have it in you to succeed, and thrive. Don't let Mr. Taylor's worries for his family make you doubt yourself." He said, and gave North a stern look before wishing him a speedy recovery, and exiting.

I deflated. My hands began to shake, and I felt a little dizzy. The same thing happened whenever I confronted anyone. I got nervous afterwards, like a weirdo.

North grunted off to the side, and I drug my eyes over to look at him. He wouldn't meet my gaze, but he nodded his head in my direction. I could see the soft dusting of blush on his cheeks from the light scolding he'd just received, and took that as an apology.

"It's okay," I said. Not sure if I was talking to myself or North.

Probably both,

When I finally felt like I could walk without fainting, I disposed of the needle and checked over Gabriel once more. He was a very outlandish sort of attractive. I couldn't see his eyes, but by the stylish hair, I knew he was an interesting person.

My eyes drifted to the tube that kept him breathing and my heart ached a little bit.

Three hours later, accompanied by the occasional grunt or sigh from North, I was pretty confident in my computer being set up properly. I would have to ask someone to look over it to make sure I hadn't missed anything.

I decided to focus on filling out the physician page on the back of the charts, and when I'd finished there were only three blank lines that I was unable to fill.

Phone number.

Email address.

Pager number.

I sighed and while I wanted to cross off another thing from my list, I knew that by doing so, I'd technically be lying because I hadn't really finished. I replaced the pages to the files, and checked on all of the boys once again. North was asleep by the time I finished again, and I ordered some crackers and apple juice for when he woke up.

Luke Taylor had yet to return, but I knew he was technically cleared for daily activities. The only reason he was under my care was because his team was here, and he insisted. I smiled, wondering what it would be like to have a family member sacrifice their free time to be stuck in a recovery center, just to be close at all times.

All of the other patients in the room were either under medication to help them sleep, or in a coma, or on life support. I felt my heart squeeze. Not all of them should have technically been at the recovery center, but the hospital wasn't too far away, and the leading doctors on their case before I'd been assigned had all signed off allowing them to stay together.

When I finished, I wondered why I hadn't seen any other people, the ones Darlene had mentioned would be aiding me in the care of ward b.The thought of working alone didn't bother me too much. I shutdown my computer, and put away anything I'd pulled out.

It occurred to me as I was walking out, that I'd been so caught up in working, that I hadn't even tried on my white coat. I glanced back at the room of sleeping boys, and hoped I wouldn't get too attached to them.