5437 |l.h

• E L E V E N •

E L E V E N

blood is (was) thicker than water

2:45 am.

That's my flight's time. After mother left with my exile sentence on the tip of her toes, Dr. Austin signed the papers for me to go home, Ashton came to pick me up without knowing I'd be leaving in a few hours.

"At least you're coming home" He said while parking the car on the street right outside our apartment.

My tongue tingled for me to tell him I'm leaving but I don't have to courage to do so. Instead I smile and sigh, he helps me get inside the building. When we call for the elevator I see a big box sitting on the hallway, from the wooden piece resting right outside the box I know that used to be Leo's crib. Suddenly a sad wave hit me making my vision blurry.

"Hey, are you okay?" Ashton asks holding my shoulders because apparently I was stumbling.

"The crib" I point to the box "Leo's crib" I walk towards it and kneel before the box, I grab one small piece, it was as big as my hand, I squeeze it with my eyes closed reminding myself with my dream where I saw Leo's eyes.

I sigh feeling empty inside once more but I shake it off and get up. I hold on to the wooden piece and get in the elevator like nothing happened. When we got upstairs no one was home, Mike was at work and Ashton said he needed to leave too and asked if I'd be okay.

"Don't worry" I say with a smile "I'll be just fine" I hug him goodbye and sit on the couch in silence.

Ever since I lost Leo everything seemed empty. I'd look on people's face in the hospital and all I could see was empty shells walking around, my hospital room was all white and empty, this apartment without the boys' joy is empty, I am empty. I nod my head accepting my new reality, all the love I had in my heart was slowly fading away.

I had Luke who I loved with every inch of my body, but the feeling of affection worn out and all I'm left with is painful memories. I had Leo who was my flesh and blood, but him too was taken away from me and now I'm just alone with this empty body that makes me cry whenever I look on the mirror and see myself.

If I could sleep and wake up with a fresh mind, not remembering everything that happened, Luke, the baby, Australia, that would be perfect. Every little memory, even the ones that used to be happy, they are all painful now. On the hospital Mike brought some pictures from Sydney and I couldn't even look at them, the first one that was all of us on the beach, smiling and hugging each other, that one felt like a bullet in my stomach. But the one that really killed me, the one that ripped my heart out of my chest, the one that made me torn inside, was a picture of Luke and I sleeping in the back of the truck. I was resting my head on his shoulder and his hand was wrapped around my body, we looked so peaceful, so in love. After I saw that picture I've been bleeding out.

Mom texted me later the day saying she'd pick me up at midnight to drop me off at the airport. I sighed and went to my room to pack my belongings already thinking of a way to say goodbye to Mike and Ashton.

An hour went by and I heard the door being opened, Mike entered my room with frowned eyebrows.

"Why are you packing?" He sits at the edge of my bed, I get up from the floor and bite my lips

"I'm leaving" I say as fast as ripping a band aid out, I watch his jaw drop "Mom wants me to move to Sheffield, she secured my spot and already paid my tuition"

"Wait, hold on" he shakes his head trying to understand the situation "When are you leaving?"

"Tonight"