Holding On to You || MiniMinter FF

20

I wanted to just begin with a big thank you to everyone. Each chapter has hit over 100 views. That's just amazing thank you all so much my children <3

Anyway, on with the chapter.

Once Simon, JJ, and Josh say goodbye to everyone in the house and leave to meet the others at the airport, El, Vikk, and I sit at the island counter in the kitchen.

"Quiet without the guys" I sighed, staring at the glass of orange juice I held in my hands.

"They usually go without me so I'm used to it" Vikk smiled gently.

I didn't know I would miss Simon that much. I mean - he's left an hour ago for God's sake. He's probably not even at the airport yet.

"Hey, let's go upstairs" Eloise murmured, taking my hand and pulling me up from my chair.

I allowed her to drag me towards my bedroom, my eyes were focused on the floor as I took every step. To be honest, I don't even fully know if I went up the stairs or if Eloise carried me. My mind was so disarranged and in confusion that I couldn't focus on what was in front of me.

"Suicide Squad or Deadpool?" Eloise said as she brought me back to earth. It was then I realised I was on my bed while she stood in front of the TV picking out my favourite movies.

I remembered when we went to the cinema to watch Deadpool. How that was the moment I realised Josh loves Eloise.

"What did Harry do here?" I blurted out quietly, glaring at El as her facial expression turned blank.

"What?"

"Simon found Harry's shirt here. I spent the night in Si's room so why would Harry's shirt be here?" I sighed, not breaking eye contact.

"He came over." Eloise began, sitting at the foot of the bed. "Josh never has time for me, so I called Harry to come over and - well - he said he loves me. One thing led to another-"

"Is that why Josh hasn't been talking to you?"

"I just broke up with him. I didn't tell him what happened. Harry and I aren't together! It's complicated."

I sat up, giving her a hug. "Let's watch Suicide Squad" I smiled. This situation with Josh is obviously a big hassle for her, I should atleast try to make it better.

---

Half way through the movie and I still cant focus on anything. Simon is all that is in my head. It's like my mind doesn't allow me to think about anything else EXCEPT him.

I suddenly feel my phone buzz, I take it out of my pocket to see CalFreezy ringing.

"Hello" I murmur into the phone.

"Hey, do you mind opening the door? I've been knocking for about a year" He chuckles.

I rapidly stand up from the bed, getting El's attention as I run out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and to the front door. "Sorry, we are all upstairs and Vikk is recording. We didn't hear" I answered. Once I opened the door, I hung up.

There stood a grinning Cal. Holding 2 boxes of pizza. "Hey, heard Simon left so I wanted to come by seeing as you're alone" he smirked.

"Eloise is here actually but I would love some pizza" I smiled widly, taking the boxes of pizza from him as I walked back up the stairs - leaving Cal to close the door - the pizza was already making me drool.

"I thought El was going to see bog?" He said behind me.

I nearly choked on the slice of pizza I was eating as I heard that.

"Yeah, I told Cal to come" Eloise said out of no where, appearing in front of me.

She took the slice of pizza from my hand and began eating it before waving goodbye to us and leaving the house.

Cal and I walked into my room, sitting on the bed as I continued watching Suicide Squad.

I leaned back on the headrest, placing my head on Cal's shoulder.

"Eloise told me you were upset" he whispered, his eyes glued to the TV.

"I don't know why I was." I mumbled.

After a while of small talk, I began getting bored of the movie (blame my short attention span) and I took Cal's hand. Tracing my nail along the lines on his palm. I put my other arm around his, staring at my toes while holding onto him tightly.

"Are you and Simon actually together?" Cal asked.

"Yes, why?" I replied.

"He doesn't really spend time with you."

"He has YouTube and fans to please. I understand that his fans come first." I say truthfully.

"Yes but shouldn't he atleast try to do something with you? Like go out somewhere."

"We go out sometimes-"

"Do you love him, though?"

"Obviously I do. He means everything" I raise my voice slightly. What an absurd question that was.

I notice him frown slightly. Why would he ask that? Cal - out of all people - knows Simon is the only person I care the most about.

I gave a big sigh as I closed my eyes.

---

I woke up to see Cal asleep, his arm wrapped around me. I lay there for a very long time, I would always procrastinate going over what I'm worried about and reflecting on myself. But I decided this was the time to do so. I remembered the dream I had, all of the moments that I had spent with Simon came back to me. I loved him so dearly, but just staying with Cal made me full of joy. Maybe Cal is right, maybe Simon doesn't care about me enough to spend time with me.

I took Cal's hand, intertwined my fingers with his, and began thinking about everything that worries me.

Why are you holding his hand like that? I thought to myself, don't you even care about Simon? What would he think if he saw this?

I quickly pulled my hand away, sitting up on the edge of the bed as I put my head into my hands.

I don't even know what's going on with me. Why am I feeling so empty, heartbroken, and hurt because Si isn't here to hug me. To cheer me up.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my arms as a head was placed on my shoulder. "You cried in your sleep" Cal whispered gently. I miss Simon so much, that's probably why. It's been a couple hours but I'm already torn apart. However, Cal is making it all up to me. He's Simon when Simon isn't around.

Oh Cal. I thought to myself in despair. I think I'm inlove with you.

Ok so basically, the irony is that Ash says she will hold onto Simon metaphorically, but she's holding onto Cal LITERALLY, while also breaking her promise that she will hold onto Simon metaphorically. Hope that makes sense. I'm sorry that I haven't been updating. I'm not in a right state of mind these few days and I've just had some minor bad news so strugging to deal bUT NEVER THE LESS I MUST UPDATE FOR MY HOME BOIZZZ

Peace x