𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝑲𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏

18. Lose Yourself

Jeff's p.o.v.

I took him out, far out into the woods. Toby needed serious help now, and I wanted to be the one to try and give that to him.

We are killers. But for the love of fucking Christ...we were human. We have goddamned feelings.

I took Toby to our old tree house. He, Masky, Ben, Eyeless Jack, Hoodie, and myself used to come here late at night when everyone else in the mansion was asleep. We'd play video games, share porn magazines, and talk about our pasts or futures. Now, it was nothing more than a run down tree with rotten wood planks nailed to the branches.

Toby clung to my waist, still sobbing pitifully. I had asked him to tell me why or what had happened and he was honestly trying his best, but it just seemed to make him cry more. I rubbed his back, humming softly. When he'd ripped away his goggles and face mask, I knew it was urgent. No one was to remove anything that showed their past scars unless they were showing submission or a sign of giving up. Oh, yes, I had my own mask. It was the skin covering my black heart and soul. I don't think it'd be too pleasant of a sight to rip away that particular mask.

I had to restrain Toby from gnawing at his already bruised and cut hands. He shook and twitched violently in my arms.

"Listen, I'm here, ok? There's nothing to be worried about. You can tell me anything. It'll be just between us," I attempted to reassure him.

Toby twitched again, clinging tighter to me.

"...p-pain..."

I arched a brow at the response. "Pain?"

He nodded slowly, looking up at me with a weak smile. "I...I wanted to...feel pain."

I sighed softly, looking up then back at him. "Toby...you had us all terrified...especially Masky."

He started to sob again, beating his head on the floor. "I want to feel it too! I want to feel what Masky had to feel! I'll take all the pain from him, I promise I will!!"

I stopped him, holding his shoulders. "Stop that! What are you talking about, Toby!? Just tell me what happened!"

He panted hard, blood dripping from a cut on his head. "He...he had marks on him, Jeff...lots of them on his arms and legs and tummy...I know the marks hurt him...I know they hurt. And it hurts me. Masky hurts, I hurt. I wanted him not to hurt anymore...I found the sharp thing he used to make the marks and I swallowed it!! That's why I think I died..."

Jeff's eyes widened more. "You...oh God, Toby. But...what about the huge hole in your stomach? How did that happen?"

Toby smiled again. "I dug it out," he said calmly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small blood stained blade. "Now Masky can't use it no more."

Jeff felt his eyes tear up. "Oh, Toby..."

"It's ok, Jeff. It was worth it to save Masky. Sometimes to save someone you love lots, you gotta lose yourself."