Weddings ~heihei77

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Candy's After wedding party

Dram: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE CANDY!

Candy: I'm trying on my dress! *looks in the mirror* I LOOK FAT!

Me: *eats tub of Nutella* *looks at my bulging stomach* *looks at Candy's flat stomach* BITCH, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Bread: *eats loaf of bread quietly* It's me, and you man. Me, and you.

Demon: *looks through magazines bored* Are we done yet?

Candy: *cries actual crocodile tears* MY HUSBAND WILL LEAVE ME BECAUSE OF MY UGLINESS!

Dram: *scoffs* Bitch please, I'm surprised Tim even stayed with me!

Bread: Same

Candy: *continues crying* *guests leave* I CAN'T BELIEVE I WORE THIS DRESS TO MY WEDDING!

Ali: *walks in room* *sees Candy crying* *panics, and runs to her* Habibti, why are you crying, my love?!

Me: *rolls eyes* My dear cousin who got married at thirty, your wife here is crying because she's fat. *scoffs* Please tell her the only person that's fat is me.

Ali: *picks up Candy* *kisses her cheek* My beautiful wife.

Dram: EW! GET A ROOM!

Demon: *looks at watch* Meh, Mika will be here soon

Candy: *sniffs*You really think I'm beautiful? *touches his bicep just to feel the muscles, and rubs*

Ali: More than just beautiful *gazes into her eyes*

Me: Thinks: I will forever be alone *sigh*

Dram: OH LOOK, THERE'S THE LIMO! HAVE FUN BABY MAKING! AND DON'T RE-MAKE THE FSOG SCENES! *blows kiss* BYE BITCHES!

Bread: BHAHAHAHHA! I BET SHE'LL BE PREGNANT BY THE TIME SHE MAKES IT BACK!

Demon: *smirks* Mhm.

Me: ALI! MAKE A CHILD BEFORE YOUR BANANA GOES LIMP!

Ali: *glares at me* I AM NOT LIMP, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! 

Candy: *blushes*

Dram's wedding:

Dram: OH MY FUCK! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GETTING MARRIED! I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME!

Bread: *snickers* Bruh, we all thought that,

Dram: *breaks taco on Bread's head* Fuck you, Bread *eyes Tim* *licks lips* He is one hot piece of ham!

Me:........

Demon:..........

Candy: *strokes her pregnant belly* Ah, those were the days. 

Me: *laughs* YOU GOT PREGNANT WITHIN TWO WEEKS OF YOUR MARRIAGE!

Candy: I can't help it! He's so bi-

Me: LALALALALALALAL! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU DO REALIZE MY COUSIN IS LIKE A BROTHER TO ME, RIGHT?! AND EW!

Candy: *rolls eyes* Whatever. You won't be saying that when you get your man *winks*

Me: *hugs Nutella to chest* We're meant to be, SO BYE BYE BITCH!

Candy: *starts crying*

Ali: *walks over to her* WHAT'S WRONG BABY!?

Candy: *points to me* SHE CALLED ME A BITCH!

Ali: *growls at me* *takes Candy away*

Dram:.......

Demon:.......

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