This is what happens when I try to look good at 1:40 AM:
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This is what happens when Loren Fucking Beech tries to look good at 1:40 AM:
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Aaaaaaaand there goes my self-esteem, right down the fucking drain along with the other shit, and piss.
It's not that I'm complaining, or anything. I mean, I don't know what to say, tbh.
I'm in my PJ'S! Cuz idgaf what people think of me!
EVERYONE! MAKE ROOM FOR THE QUEEN OF EGGPLANTS, AND THE RULER OF ONIONS. A.K.A Me. ;)
I RENTED A BUS FOR US TO RIDE TO CANADA WHEN DONALD TRUMP BECOMES PRESIDENT! Demon, and I talked about it. Here's a scene of what'll happen in our mansion we all bought:
Dram: FA! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED, AND COME TO THE PARTY WITH US!!
Me: Will there me drugs?
Dram: No.
Me: Will be there any horny people?
Dram: *rolls eyes* DUH!
Me: Will there be alcohol?
Dram: *sassily puts hands on hips* IS THIS THE TWENIETH CENTURY OR SOMETHING!? YES FA, THERE WILL BE ALCOHOL!
Me: *falls back on bed* I'm out.
Demon: Same
CandyQueen: WE'LL HAVE A WATTPAD MARATHON ALL NIGHT LONG WITH CHIPS!
Dram: Fa, you need a boyfriend. CandyQueen is engaged, and we're all in a relashonsip (too lazy to look up spelling XD)
Me: I don't date.
Dram: *whines* Why not?!
Me: Against my religion.
Dram: Then you need to get laid
Me: *rolls eyes* Still against my religion.
Dram: You're going to die a virgin! You're thirty right?!
Me: *stands up* *crosses arms over chest* *hisses* I'm twenty-three!
Dram: *laughs* *drags me to her room* PUT THIS DRESS ON!
Me: NO! BREAD!
Bread: *comes in, and smacks Dram with a loaf of bread* *guy walks after her* *looks hot*
Me: *eyes him* Who are you?!"
Random guy: Khalid, Damien's friend (Damien is Bread's BF)
Me: *thinks: he's hot*
SEVEN MONTHS LATER
Dram: *wipes tear from eye* SHES GETTING MARRIED! *sobs*
Me: *rolls eyes* Whatever.
Demon: *smirks* Have fun on your honeymoon *winks*
Me: *blushes* YOU WERE INNOCENT!
Demon: *waves hand* That was years ago! I have Mika now!
Dram: *sobs against Tim* (Tim is Dram's BF)
DURING VOWS!
Bread: KISS!
Me: *smacks Bread with book*
Bread: Ohhh! Right!
Me: *wakes up* IT WAS JUST A DREAM! *looks at happy couples*
Dram: *smirks* Did u have a good sleep?
Me: *gives her the finger* I hate you.
Demon: BE NICE, BITCHES!
..........................
That was weird...
But that's how I imagine it! DEMON! GET YOUR ASS HERE!
Ah! I LOVE MY MOM AH HUH! MY MOM IS COOL! AH HUH! AND NOW, ITS TIME FOR BORING TIME AT SCHOOL!
Question: How old do I look? If you know, keep your fucking mouth shut, or I'll run after you with a book, and wack you with it.
Don't say anything higher than 20. I don't look that old.
*sings Let it Go!* What??! I WAS CONSTIPATED! JK JK JK~ BAHHAHHAAHHAAHH
Joke for Trump:
Trump: LET'S BUILD A WALL!
Me: Build yourself a brain first
Crowd: BAD BITCH IN THE HOUSE! *turns into dance party*
Me: *goes home*
You know what's the worst thing anyone can tell you? It's that you're ugly. When someone tells you you're ugly, the mirror becomes your worst enemy. Be strong, suck it up, hold your head high, and dodge the words. You're beautiful no matter what people say otherwise :)
But seriously, slap a bitch if they call you ugly. With an onion. That way you have an excuse if they cry.
I once tried to punch this thing that tries to determine how strong you are. I got like a 200-something or less the first time. My Dad made the fucking thing shake.
The second time, my Dad forced me. I was like, "I'M GOING TO GET LESS THAT 200!" Guess what?! I got 599! But it's funny, since the I only bench press a bag of hot chips.
My Dad was surprised. I was surprised. But you know what they say; Like Father, like daughter.
That's sort of true in a twisted way.
One time, my Mom was talking to my Uncle. My uncle said I'm smart. My Mom said I got my smartness from her.
I said, "No Mom, I got my smart genes from Dad."
If I ever have a daughter, I'll download her a WP to save the awkwardness when she's 13. Just kidding! I'LL BE A GOOD MOM!
Don't you ever wish for a sugar daddy?
LOL JK JK BHSHSHSHSHHHAHAHAH!
Have to end this!
~heihei77/FA
*drops mic* *picks it up* *hands it to Demon* YOUR TURN!
