The RoomMate (Camren)

Chapter Twenty One

"You experience it for her," Lauren said, placing her laptop down and wrapping her arms around the younger girl. "You need to love for the both of you because I bet that she is probably watching right now and smiling at you, at us," The green eyed girl gently said, playing with Camila's hair.

"Okay," Camila whispered, admiring how the older girl can make a situation seem so much better then it actually is.

"I love you, Lauren, and I'm going to be saying it a lot more now," Camila smiled, turning so that she could kiss the older girl gently.

"I love you too," Lauren responded, closing the gap between the two girls once again.

"Your phone," Camila said, reaching over to the cupboard and passing the older girls phone to her.

"Ugh, my boss," Lauren muttered before answering.

"Yes, I'm just finishing it up now, actually," The green eyed girl said, reaching for her laptop.

"Wait, what?!" Her tone suddenly changed. "Okay, fine, good bye," Lauren hung up the phone and walked over to her desk angrily, picking up all the work that she had completed in the last two days and scrunching it up into massive ball before flinging it against the wall.

"What's wrong?" Camila asked, unsure of what Lauren's boss could've said to her to make her so angry.

"They don't need any of the work anymore, they've done it elsewhere," Lauren muttered, kicking the paper ball across the room.

"But you worked so hard on it! I don't understand why," Camila exclaimed, figuring that this was why the green eyed girl had become so annoyed.

"I don't understand either, I hate this fucking job!" Lauren suddenly shouted, storming out of her room with no particular intention, followed quickly by Camila.

"Babe, I'm sorry, maybe you can look around for a different job?" The younger girl suggested, gripping Lauren's wrists tightly and trying to calm her down.

"I don't know," The older girl mumbled, sitting down on the sofa. "I don't know," She repeated, taking deep breaths to try to calm down. Letting out a sigh, Lauren turned to face Camila who had fallen silent.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so angry, are you okay?" The green eyed girl asked.

"Yeah, I mean, concerning the circumstances," Camila replied, wrapping her arms around the older girl in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry," Lauren repeated, kissing the top of Camila's head. "I probably will start to look for a different job. I've done this for a few years, it gets pretty tiresome and repetitive after a while," The green eyed girl spoke. "Do you want to eat something?" Lauren asked, walking towards the kitchen.

"No, I'm alright," Camila replied, surprising Lauren slightly with her answer. "Well I'm hungry, I'm going to make something and leave some for you in the fridge, alright?" The green eyed girl informed, fully disappearing behind the kitchen door.

Camila sat on the sofa, unsure of what to do, she felt sad, of course she would, she just found out that her little sister had died from a woman she had only just met over face time. Camila found herself becoming angry at herself and her parents, a whirlwind of horrible memories tunnelling back to her all at once. As a child, Camila was very happy and vibrant and when Sofi was born, it was like nothing could be better. But around that time, she began developing her own opinions and feelings for things, things that her parents didn't necessarily agree with.

Slowly pulling herself up and walking to her room, each foot step felt heavy and almost tortuous to Camila. It reminded her of when she had first had her depressive thoughts and how she never felt good enough.

"Why don't they love me?" Camila whispered to herself, rummaging around her desk drawer as a tear fell from her cheek. "Why couldn't they accept me?" The brown eyed girl asked into the empty room. "Why the fuck am I not good enough?!" She suddenly shouted, as her hand clasped around what she was looking for. Unscrewing the small screw of the sharpener, Camila discarded the yellow casing on the floor, leaving her with the sharp blade in her shaky hand.

"Camz, did you call-?" Lauren began, wandering into Camila's room with a mouthful of food.

"Woah, woah, woah, Camila stop," Lauren spoke, not too loud in case she startled the younger girl but enough to make her look up. Grabbing the blade from Camila's hand, Lauren walked the younger girl to the bathroom, running her arm under the cold water tap which she thankfully had not done much damage to.

"Come here," The green eyed girl softly spoke, picking up Camila and walking to her bedroom.

"Camila, you cannot blame yourself for this. This is not your fault," Lauren said, laying the shaking girl down and covering her arm in a dampened towel.

"This," Lauren said, gesturing to the younger girls arm, "is not safe, do not do this to yourself," The green eyed girl spoke calmly.

"But I'm just not good enough,"