Remember? (Gray Fullbuster X Reader)

So much worse

It feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest, squeezing all the air out of my lungs. I have to do this, there's no getting out of it. This is what I signed up for.

My feet start running as soon as they hit the ground, leaving the guild and a bunch of shouting guild members. They can't know, I can't let them find out. They'd try to come and help me but I refuse to be responsible for any of my friends deaths.

Entering my apartment complex, I run straight for the stairs, not bothering to take the elevator. All I can hope is that no one follows me. My door slams behind me as I continue running till I enter my room, pulling out a notebook and pen.

Sadness starts to build up in my chest, creating a feeling I'm way to familiar with. I flop onto my bed and stare at an empty page I randomly flip to. A tear rolls down my cheek. I don't bother wiping it away since I'm aware there will be many more.

My pen flys across the paper, making scribbles that barely look like letters as I frantically write an explanation to my friends so they know what happened when I die. This one is specifically for Gray though.

Dear Gray,

If your reading this, I'm sorry. It means I'm either dead or about to be. I'm making a separate letter explaining why I just need to admit something.

I love you.

And I have for a while. I didn't realize to the degree it was until today, when I have to leave everyone I've become friends with behind.

I never told you cause that's not something I'd ever be able to do. I don't like rejection which is what would happen if I were to confess. You have Juvia who is beautiful and obviously likes you a lot.

You'd never choose me and I have to come to terms with that so I just push my feelings down whenever I'm around you and carry on.

I just needed to get it off my chest before I do this one final thing so I can be completely focused. Goodbye.

Your friend,

(Y/n).

Within two minutes I'm done writing a full page worths of words expressing my feelings. While signing my name at the end I think of just how stupid the idea of confessing to Gray through letter is. If I'm gonna die what's the point of writing this to him?

The sound of crumpling paper is all that can be heard as I roll the letter into a ball and throw it to the other side of my room. Now I have to explain my death to my best friends.

Dear whoever reads this letter first,

By the time you read this I'll either be dead or almost dead. I'm sorry but I couldn't let you know what I had to do. If anyone followed me my brother would've killed them right in front of me and it would not have been a quick, painless death.

I'll explain what happened then. Right now I'm about to leave my house after I received my last memories. I ran here to write this so you have an explanation as to why I've done what I've done. My brother was the one sending me the letters. He killed both of my parents and abused me all through my childhood. My best friend gave me instructions on how to find the dragon I learned my earth powers from in order to escape from my brother.