BLACK

Chapter 18

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The famous saying goes "To err is human, to forgive is divine". What makes the power of forgiveness comparable to God? The very nature of humans is to get angry and feel resentful towards those who have hurt us or did some harm to us in any way.

We tend to remember the undesirable actions of others which impacted us and made us feel bad. Forgiveness is the act of overcoming the feeling of resentment or revenge for the person who has done wrong actions.

Forgiveness is a virtue but the way people perceive it is quite relative. Some people think that certain actions are forgivable while others are not. Forgiveness is subjective and the act of forgiveness can have many meanings. Acceptance of apology may be forgiveness for some, while helping the other who hurt you to get out of the habit of ill-treatment may be a way for others.

We all make mistakes. So when we learn to forgive others, we can also seek forgiveness when we commit follies. Also if we are able to forgive others, we also learn to forgive ourselves in situations of self-guilt. Thus the virtue of forgiveness helps us come out of the feeling of self blame. If we fail to forgive ourselves in time, we often end up realizing that others had forgiven us long back, but we kept feeling bad about ourselves all this time.I think, that to be able to forgive others, you have to first be able to forgive yourself for anything that makes you feel guilty about something, you have to be able to accept that you made a mistake, but you also have to then carry on and move forward.

If you cannot forgive yourself, you will constantly be berate yourself and you won't be able to leave the past behind. Of course, you have to learn from the mistakes you made and endeavour never to repeat them, but it's not necissary to constantly berate yourself over something that has already happened and cannot be changed. Often, we are the last people to forgive ourselves.

Forgiveness helps us feel light and helps us get rid of hard feelings that occupy our mind and heart and eat away our peace of mind. Forgiveness is a way to self-fulfillment. People who can readily forgive others are much more responsible and satisfied inside than those who keep grudges against others and develop feelings of enmity. The feeling of anguish only results in arguments, fights, mistreatments and war in certain cases. Those who forgive help create positive energy on this planet.

If the people who are close to you betray or hurt you, you find it most difficult to forgive them. Sometimes the extent to which your trust is breached determines the ease or difficulty in forgiving. But it is true that the more easily we forgive the other person, the less likely we shall suffocate ourselves keeping bad intentions for the wrongdoer. We need to feed it into our system to let go so that we do not stay annoyed and offended for long. Our grudges will only affect the relationship with the person and not hurt the other person in any way.

Forgiveness can be defined as the foregoing of resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer's actions deserve it. Forgiveness is a very subjective theme and everyone has there own idea on who should and who should not be forgiven. Forgiveness can encompass many different things, from merely accepting someone's apology to helping them to find there way out of the situation they put themselves in.

The ability to forgive gives us a sense of freedom and makes us suffer less and feel lesser misery and pain. It is not always possible to trust someone to the same extent as before and even if it is, trust is something which has to be earned back.

Megan couldn't believe that her professor gave them single worded topics for essays. This weekly essay was on 'Forgiveness'. The topic was too close to her heart right now. She had too much to forgive. Too much to figure out for herself. Forgiving herself for what she was doing to Aaron and Zach was something really difficult for her. She knew it wasn't fair to them but she wanted to be selfish for once. She wanted to figure out who she liked more and that was only possible if she spent time with both of them. Was it right? Of course not. Did she want to stop? Shamefully no.

Megan promised herself that she would end this after she had figured out what she wanted. It would not hurt anyone if she didn't let anything get out of hand. Would it?

It is already way out of hand. Her annoying subconscious said and she just shut her eyes. She had no time for this. She had to get ready in about twenty minutes for her date. Summer was also not here to help her with her attire.

After taking a shower and hurriedly blow drying her hair, she donned a casual blue dress that brought out her eyes. Then, she remembered that Zach had asked her to dress warm so she put on a denim jacket over the dress and tights underneath. She put on her healed converse shoes added mascara and lip gloss to her face. She also had Aaron's necklace around her neck and she didn't want to remove it. She had to admit she looked good and still had a minute before seven thirty. She was grateful for the sleep in the plane lest she would have been dead by then.

As she grabbed a side sling bag, her door was knocked upon.

"Fuck..." Zach whispered as soon as she opened the door and she saw his pupils dilate. She was pleased at the reaction. She pushed away her thoughts and relished under his gaze.

As she opened her mouth to speak, Zach stepped inside the room and kicked the door shut.

"You look breathtaking" he whispered before slamming his lips onto hers.

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Love,
Adrianna <3