The Whistle Promised

Chapter 42 : I'm sorry if I hate You

Seungri crying really harder hugging his eomma in his embrace,happiness and sadness hit him in the same time and make him couldn't stop his tears wet his cheeks on his eomma shoulder.he really happy finally he could meet his eomma but also feel really sad because of his blind eyes now he couldn't saw his eomma's face.hear his eomma cry in his embrace really like someona slice a knife on his skins. Seungri try harder to control his self try harder not to faint in his eomma embrace while fight to keep his breath not to get choke with his own tears. "Eomma...i'm sorry...eomma..." all the times seungri just could chanting those words until feel his head hurt and forced him to kneel on the floor without let go from his eomma embrace.seungri feel two more person in his room when he feel them pull him up and help him laid on bed.seungri hear his eomma voice softly whispering near his ears told him to relax,calm down and stop crying.seungri feel more sad when hear his seunghyun hyung's voice calling out his name and feel the other one wipes his tears on his face. Seungri just could hear that person crying and sobbing and he really sure that person wasn't his appa.Seungri finally stop crying and manage to breath normal again,while still holding on his eomma's hand.then finally seungri know who is the other person in that room with him beside his eomma and seunghyun hyung.that person is Jiyong,kwon Jiyong the one that seungri really wish to meet since that accident. kwon jiyong,his friend and his hyungs that make him worry because seungri know jiyong also in that fire accident with him last time.seungri just want to pull his jiyong hyung into his embrace but then he stop after hear jiyong still crying and keep saying sorry again and again while holding tightly on seungri's other hand.

"I'm really sorry Ri....i'm so sorry...just punch me or kill me... Ri i'm so sorry..." jiyong pleading voice feel so guilty and did make seungri freeze in his bed.seungri never wish his jiyong hyung feel guilty like now,even seungri know the one who put him in this condition is jiyong's eomma but it wasn't his jiyong hyung.seungri feel really sad he already make jiyong feel hurt like him. "No,please don't be like this hyung...if you are like this then you better never know me since first." Seungri though in his mind when jiyong put his hands palm on jiyong's face that already wet with tears. "Say something Ri...please say something...please..." jiyong pleading when he saw seungri suddenly stop crying and freezing like doll in his bed. "Say something? What did you wish to hear Jiyong hyung? Or should i call you jiyongsshi?! What should i say to you? That i'm blind? That i'm not dead yet but dying without can't see anything?! Is that you want to hear from me jiyongsshi?!" Seungri said flat without emotion and make all that hear it got shocked. "Ri?!" Seunghyun hyung voice try to ask more but seungri still look cold. "I'm sorry hyung...i have to do this...you better hate me....you better hate me so you won't hurt your self and blame your self like now." Seungri said in his mind try not to show out his true feeling.jiyong feel surprise with seungri's reaction,he stand up and close his own mouth with both of his hands blocking his crying voice and make Mrs Choi pull him in her embrace. "Seungri ah...hyung know you are hurt but please don't be like this ok? Hyung beg you...jiyong try to save you too that time but he got knock out and faint." Seunghyun try to explain and hold on seungri's hands that look trembling and shaking like hold on emotion. "Really? But the one that almost kill me is Mrs Kwon,his eomma...because i know him now i'm become like this...blind...dying and useless...what's next?" Seungri said in cold tone and unconscious his tears fell again. "I'm so sorry Ri,i'm so sorry...you are right...it's my fault.then what should i do? Just tell me what can i do?" Jiyong crying try to said out his words between his sobbing.he just never though seungri will say all those words. "Stay away from my life..." seungri said almost whispering. "What?!" Jiyong ask unbelieveable with all he just hear from seungri's mouth. "I said,stay away from my life!!" Seungri shout in angry voice and more tears wet his cheeks.Jiyong burst in tears and almost faint if Mrs Choi didn't holding on his arms. "Ri...please..." jiyong plead in sad but seungri ignore him. "Jiyong hyung...no i'm wrong, jiyongsshi...stay away from my life...i hate you...so please don't cry for me...i didn't need your tears." Seungri weakly said it with sad tone. "Please leave,life your life well,forget all about me.so your eomma won't come and ruin my life! Did you hear me Jiyongsshi?!" Seungri angrily yelling and try not to faint with pain on his chest. "I'm sorry...hyung...i'm sorry... but i have to do this....you have to hate me...you have to life and forget me so you won't blaming your self forever...i'm so sorry hyung....but i don't want become a burden in your life and make you hate your own eomma because of me..please hyung....please hate me." Seungri begging in his mind hope his plan is work and make jiyong leave.seungri broke in tears and faint after hear the door get slam hard and hear jiyong's crying voice become more far from his room. "I'm sorry...you really have to hate me hyung...i'm sorry..." seungri whisper in weakly voice before he fainted in his seunghyun hyung arms.

Jiyong almost feel like getting nightmare that hit him when he still awake and not sleeping at all,Jiyong know he deserve get hate by seungri after all that his eomma did to seungri but still he wish seungri will forgive him,give him one more chance to be his friend.jiyong unconsciously step back and runaway from that room after hear seungri yelling at him and ask him to stay away from seungri's life.jiyong's tears blur his eyes and make him running out without know direction to went out from that house till he feel someone hands holding tight on his arms and stop him to run.jiyong quickly wipes away his tears and saw the one who stop him is yonghwa. jiyong kneel down on his knees try to stop crying but failed and still sobbing like crazy. "Jiyong,you really believe seungri hate you?" Yonghwa question like a gun shot that shot on jiyong right on the head and make him looking at yonghwa with wide eyes. "Seungri never hate you...he even refuse our plan to catch your eomma because seungri didn't want you feel hurt too." Yonghwa pull jiyong to stand up and put both of his hands on jiyong's shoulders. "But Ri said he hate me... Ri told me to stay away from his life....he said...because of me now he become blind...he look really angry and hate me!!" Jiyong crying and feel really sad. "Because he know you feel guilty,you keep say sorry,crying and blaming your self for his condition.seungri never wish that jiyong ah...that is why he make you hurt for once so you could forget or hate him for all his rude words.if he really hate you he won't forced all of us to let him back to seoul after we hide him in japan since that day." Yonghwa explain and smile softly looking at jiyong that still confuse with all yonghwa's words. "He still keep that whistle,Ri still wish to meet you but now he really need more time to comeback as seungri that all of us know before.he broken jiyong ah...after all that happen to him and almost kill him,he already lost everything.and if now you also choose to leave,he won't able to stay strong or back as cheerful seungri." Yonghwa sigh and saw jiyong holding tight on the wishtle necklace that yonghwa just put on his hand palm. "then what should i do now? Ri told me to leave and if i still stay around maybe he will really hate me." Jiyong give back the whistle necklace to yonghwa. "Be his shadow in his darkness,atleast now he couldn't see you.hmm,maybe boss still need one more bodyguard for seungri or maybe a personal assistant?" Yonghwa wink his eyes and smile give a hint for jiyong that pop out his eyes in happiness. "But...but i don't know this place...i mean...you said it secret right? How can i come everyday?" Jiyong ask curiously. "When i said to you about can come everyday? You have to stay here and i will arrange about your fake abroad travelling journey just to cover your sudden dissapear from public." Yonghwa smile to jiyong and give the whistle necklace to ahjjuma jung so they could give it back to seungri that will get panic if find out his whistle necklace gone. "What?! Are you serious?! Yonghwa you didn't lie to me right?" Jiyong got surprise with yonghwa idea. "Just answer me you want it or not?" Yonghwa ask in serious tone and burst in smile when jiyong quickly nod and suddenly hug him in happiness. "Then it's our deal,hmm but one more thing,seungri is only blind and not deaf you know what you should do right?" Yonghwa ask carefully. "Shadow never talk,i know that...thank you yonghwa you really smart and kind.i will do anything as long i could stay beside Ri and take care of him." Jiyong answer quickly and wipes away his tears. "Good,and don't forget prepare your name so seungri won't find out you are his jiyong hyung.don't tell the others and keep it as secret just between us." Yonghwa said and walk away before give sigh to jiyong to wait the other in other room.jiyong nodded and walk to follow the other maid that show him the way to waiting room.

"Ri,you didn't really hate jiyong right? Hyung know you lying right? Please tell hyung...you...you didn't really mean it right?" Seunghyun ask carefully after make seungri calm down and just stay silent sitting on his bed.seungri shook his head slowly. "Ri?" Seunghyun ask again even their eomma give him sigh not to ask seungri and make him feel stress. "Hyung...don't tell it to jiyong hyung...please.like this is better,if i could make him hate me then he won't feel guilty and sad anymore." Seungri answer almost whispering after stay silent for few minutes.Mrs Choi and and seunghyun sigh and smile after realize seungri's anger just act and just because he didn't want jiyong feel guilty for his condition. "Ri then you should said sorry to jiyong,eomma saw jiyong cry really sad because you yelling at him like that." Mrs Choi pat lightly on seungri's head.Seungri shook his head again and hugging his eomma tenderly in his embrace. "Jiyong hyung better hate me,if he hate me he won't feel guilty.eomma... if he still around me,it will feel more hurt for him after he know his eomma almost kill me that time.eomma...i already lost everything,i didn't want jiyong hyung lost his eomma too or hate his eomma because of me." Seungri said sadly while feel his eomma pat tenderly on his back.they talk without realize jiyong and yonghwa listening their conversation while silently waiting outside that room.jiyong wipes his tears and sigh but he smile when yonghwa give him tissue.yonghwa smile and pat on jiyong's shoulder to give him more support to face the fact and be strong.