He Doesn't Even Know I'm Alive! | version 1

34: I'll Make You Talk

I came out eventually and Riker was waiting for me patiently. I'm so stupid.
"I'm sorry Riker" I say.
"It's not your fault you were sick"
"But i put you through so much trouble all the time and you have to put up with it" I say. He got up and held my cheeks with the palms of his hands.
"You need to stop apologising. You didn't do anything wrong" he says.
We went downstairs and Lydia was passed out. Grace was clearing up the toys & Natalie was doing the dishes.
"I'll put Lyds to bed" Riker says.
He went upstairs holding her whilst I sat with the girls.
"You okay?" Natalie asks me.
"I feel terrible" I say. "I keep messing up and being all sad and crying and ugh I'm just so stupid all the time!"
"Lena..." Grace says quietly. "What?"
"You have depression" she says.
"What's that?" I ask. I've always been a really confused person to be honest.
"feelings of severe despondency and dejection" she says. "In English?" I ask.
"A state of feeling sad and a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way" She says.
"So... Lena hasn't got self confidence and feels like shit?" Natalie says.
"Yeah you could say that" Grace says.
"Riker must be pissed off with me!"
"Hey guys I'm gonna go bathroom" Natalie left the room quickly and ran.

•RIKER POV•
I sat down on the bed where Lydia was sleeping and Natalie came running.
"I know what's wrong with Lena!"
She bounced beside me and pressed play on an audio on her phone.
""You okay?" Natalie asks .
"I feel terrible"
"I keep messing up and being all sad and crying and ugh I'm just so stupid all the time!"
"Lena..."
"What?"
"You have depression"
"What's that?"
"feelings of severe despondency and dejection"
"In English?"
"A state of feeling sad and a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way"
"So... Lena hasn't got self confidence and feels like shit?"
"Yeah you could say that"
"Riker must be pissed off with me!"
"Hey guys I'm gonna go bathroom""

"I should have known!" I mutter.
"Riker what do we do?" She says.
"Mary?" I suggest. She slaps my arm.
"She doesn't want to talk to people you idiot! We need to think!" She exclaims.
"Ok ok! Um... maybe we should spend more time with her?" I suggested again.
"We'll try that!" We go downstairs and Grace is getting some ice cream.
Lena was sitting on the couch.
I sat beside her and cuddled her.
"We'll get through this" I say.
"All four of us" Grace says giving us all a tub of Lenas favourite ice cream.
Ben & Jerrys Cookie Dough! Yum!
Lena was giggling when I tried making her laugh but I saw the sadness in her eyes. We need to do something.

So, Grace stayed in the guest room & I stayed the night and slept with Lena in her bed. She fell asleep quickly but I heard her crying in the middle of the night. My heart instantly broke. I got up and did everything I could to stop her. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" She cries out. She cried harder into my arms. I don't know what to do.

•LENA POV•
Last night I woke up and started crying
I woke up Riker to and he was sweet to me. I felt terrible for waking him up.
I woke up at 7:30. Everyone was still asleep. I had a shower and brushed my teeth and got ready. Then there was loud banging on the door at 8. I went to the door and opened it. Crap... Help me
"Lena Mitchell, you are coming home with me right now!" Mom screams.
"Wow um ok then" I say.
"You've put everyone through so much trouble! Your useless child!" She yells.
"I-I'm sorry..." I stammer.
"If you won't talk, I'll make you" she started pulling at my arm viciously.
"Stop! Leave me alone!" I cry out.
"You stupid waste! Do as I say!"
Then I fell back and the door slammed.
Riker was in front of me hugging me.
"Are you okay?" He asks me.
"Y-yeah I'm fine" I stammer.
The words swarmed round in my bead.

'You put everyone through so much trouble!"

"You useless child!"

"You stupid waste!"

I was shaken up but Riker helped me up and we went to the kitchen to eat.
I was starving but was afraid that I would look greedy. I'm fat enough!
Riker made me my favourite cereal.
I refused to eat. "Babe it's your kitchen" he reminds me. That's true. "Not hungry" I say. "Please?" He begs. He grabs a spoon and agrees to share.
So we did. After that Lydia woke up and I got her dressed. I wouldn't talk.
Have I really got depression?