One Kiss... (Completed)

Back to Square One (Toby)

Mum insisted on picking me up from the gates, even though I told her that there was no need. I really wanted the walk home to think.

“Good day?” She enquired, as I slid into the front seat and Lottie into the back, hammering the keys of her BlackBerry as usual.

“Er..” I pondered on how to put it. “Interesting.”

“What kind of a geek calls a school day ‘interesting’?” Lottie scowled at me through the rear-view mirror.

“The kind of geek who goes to school for the education, and not a one-way ticket to McDonalds,” I snapped, my fists clenching. Lottie scowled even more.

“Mum, did you hear what he just…”

“Yes, Lottie.”

“Why you little sh…!”

“Toby White, watch your language!” Mum was now the one scowling. “Be quiet, the both of you. You’re doing my head in.”

Lottie sank her eyes back into her BlackBerry, and I cast my gaze out the window. The drive home felt long, even though it only took a few minutes. Mum switched on the radio, only to turn it off again, and I sank further into my seat. Suddenly, Lottie’s phone buzzed. She held it to her ear.

“Hi dad,” she murmured. Suddenly, mum swerved over to the side of the road. I was thrown against the window.

“What the…?”

“Lottie, hang up.” Mum’s face had turned a nasty shade of white.

“Sorry, dad, I can’t hear you..” Lottie shot a venomous look at mum.

“Charlotte White, hang up now, or so help me I’ll…”

“Dad, I’m sorry, you’ll have to speak up.” Lottie plugged her other ear and hunched her shoulders. In a flash, mum snatched the phone, ended the call and threw the phone out the window. It collided with a bus, and cracked open like an egg on the road. Lottie screamed in fury.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?! You’re insane!” Mum was very pale and breathing heavily like she’d just run a mile.

“I’m sorry,” she said finally. “Lottie, I’ll get you a new phone, I promise.” Lottie was shaking with fury.

“How… How…” She was so angry that she could barely get her words out.

“For God’s sake, Lottie, just shut up about your STUPID phone!” I roared. “Mum?” I added quietly, “Mum? Are you okay?” She didn’t answer us, instead, pulled out into the road with grim determination, and a face of steel.

When we arrived home, Lottie ran upstairs, sobbing like a child. I made mum a cup of tea, and settled her in front of the radiator amidst the boxes and discarded furniture.

“Toby,” she caught hold of my sleeve. “Sit down a minute, I need to tell you something.”

I pulled over a large sofa cushion from a packing box and sank into it.

“I don’t want you to tell Lottie anything I tell you,” she murmured softly. “Do you understand, Toby?” I nodded. “Your father is trying to track us down, and I don’t want to make that possible, do you understand?” I nodded again, looking into her eyes. Those eyes were so tired nowadays. “Your father wants chief custody over you kids, and I won’t allow it. That’s why we moved from Swansea, because it was too risky him finding us there. Your father…” She shuddered, pulling her blanket tighter around her bony shoulders. “Your father has done some… dishonest things in his time, and I don’t want you kids getting mixed up in it. Do you understand now, Toby?” I nodded silently.

“Mum, have you taken your medication today?”

“You think I’m lying.” It wasn’t a statement, it was a fact.

“No…”

“Then why do you doubt me? I would trust you with my life, Toby…” She trailed off. “I have entrusted you with my life.” I winced at the past tense.

“Look, Toby. I know that things haven’t always been rosy, but I’m on my medication now, and I’m a new person. I can get around now, and go out, and work for you kids.” She sighed, and her eyes took on an oddly hard, protective look. “And nothing is ever going to take you away from me ever again.”

I shivered at her words. I knew what mum was capable of before she took her medication. The highs and lows, the 999 calls in the middle of the night, finding her lying in the bathroom beside a razor, sleeping pills, an empty bottle of vodka. It was always the same. I became the family rock, to which Lottie clung like a barnacle, until she found independence in the name of alcohol and boyfriends.

I knew that look in her eyes. I knew it.

Something wasn’t right. We were heading back to square one.