Gasoline - Klaus Mikaelson Fanfic

Chapter 22 - We Accept the Love we Think we Deserve.

A/N: You must love me.

This chapter is dedicated to Jenna. RIP Jenna.

'You can't hear me cry,

see my dreams all die

from where you're standing on your own.

It's so quiet here, and I feel so cold.

This house no longer

Feels like home.'

Ben Cocks – So Cold

S2 E21

Do you know that feeling you get when you just want to lock yourself in a room and cry. Cry about how everything isn't perfect, how you just want your parents, how this isn't how everything should have ended? Today that is how I feel. It was my fault Jenna died. I could have been strong enough to pull that stake out and stop it from happening, put a barrier over her so she wouldn't die.

As Elena puts a rose down on Jenna's grave, she goes to her parents, and I do the same, going to my father. My mother, Rosetta, died giving birth to Ruby.

In loving Memory,

Adam Martin Rosetta Martin

Died April 15th, 2009

Died January 12th, 2005

'We accept the love we think we deserve'

I place two roses on their gravestones, going back to the others and wiping the tears falling from my eyes.

I look at Jenna's grave, and I imagine a wreath of roses laying on the gravestone. I open my eyes, to see exactly that. I then hug Elena, to comfort her, to help her grieve. Everybody leaves but I stay, going back to my parents' grave and just crying.

Crying because everything isn't perfect, I do want my parents and everything didn't go the way I wanted.

"Just let it all out." Caroline comes over to me, "You've been bottling it up for years."

"This is all my fault Care, I could've saved her. I could have saved her, but I didn't because I'm too weak. I'm too weak Care. I cant do this, not anymore." I cry into her.

"You're the strongest person I know, Scarlet, you're brave, beautiful, intelligent and overall, an amazing person. Everything happens for a reason. Jenna died for a reason, Alice skipped town for a reason."

"First my mom, then dad, now Jenna, who's going to die next because of me?"

"None of those were your fault."

"Yes it was. My mother died giving birth to Ruby because I couldn't cast a damn barrier to stop the witches hexing her. My dad died trying to steal my aunt Crimson's power, because he wanted to protect me and my brother and sister, and now Jenna died because I couldn't stop Klaus. I'm supposed to be powerful goddammit, but I'm not Caroline."

"You were eleven when your mother died, how could you attack a coven of powerful witches? You couldn't, it's impossible, your dad died because he chose to sacrifice himself to protect you, and Jenna died because Klaus killed her." Caroline tells me. "You can't protect everyone."

"But what if I could? A lot more people would be alive. I just...I cant do any of this anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm leaving Caroline. I'm leaving Mystic Falls forever." I cry.

"Why? You can't do that, what about Jasper and Ruby?"

"They're better off without me Care."

"Nobody is better off without you, Scarlet. If you leave them, you'll be another person to add to the list of lost loved ones. Don't go."