n y c t o p h i l i a

e i g h t e e n

D E S T I N Y

We sit on the kitchen counter drinking soda. Our heads in our own worlds. I look around the house. I didn't know he was rich, his house is a mansion.

Theo clears his throat, "So," he looks me in the eyes. "Are you gonna join Jacob's so-called gang?"

I squint my eyes in wonder. Do I? "Well, he said I could come with him someday and see what they do and then I'll make a decision."

"Oh, that's good I guess." he replies.

"Yeah why do you want me to join, by the way?"

"Well, I don't know. I mean, it's fun I guess." he shrugs.

"How would you know? In fact, how do you even know Jacob?" I ask curious.

"I used to be in his gang." he looks away.

"Why'd you leave?"

Theo sighs, "Let's just say I had trouble dealing with my sister's suicide."

"Oh, that makes sense." I reply.

We ended up changing the subject and talk about random things. Turns out he's a total rock n roll fan.

It's funny. It's been such a long time since I've had a genuine conversation with someone. It's weird. It's like my whole world was just darkness and Theo seemed to light it up. Very slowly.

And it scares me. I just don't want him to get too close to me. It's already gone too far now that we're friends. I don't want to get too attached to him because I know that in the end he will end up leaving and that would hurt the most.

I don't want him to leave.
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T H E O

I can't believe she's actually considering joining Jacob and his pack of sick low lives. I hate trying to convince her.

I know it's selfish of me to convince her so I can protect my secret. But id rather her join the gang than her hate me forever.

I bribe her to stay the whole weekend since my mom's out of town on some business trip. I just really want to spend more time with Destiny. She seems to light up my whole world. Cheesy, I know. But honestly I've never felt like this in a long time.

Mom and Dad are so distant nowadays. Ever since Eleanor died they've disconnected themselves from me. We never had dinner on the same table, I'd always take mine upstairs. We never had those days where we would go out as a family and have fun. The only thing I would say to them would be "good morning" and all they'd ask me was "how's school?"

I feel like Eleanor held our family together. Without her we're all falling apart. But I'm glad I still have a family. I mean Destiny only has Gloria but she seems to not like her.

We sit next to each other, our arms and legs touching, almost grazing. Watching a horror movie, the lights turned off and the tv being our only light.

Being this close to Destiny I can smell her, her scent is of lavender and sage. Well that's what I think but who knows.

I reach into the bowl of popcorn and feel a cold hand graze mine. Yeet. Immediately she pulls her hand away and looks hardly at the television screen.

"Why is your hand so cold?" I ask grasping her freezing hands in mine. "It's the middle of summer."

"I don't know, they're always cold." she replies shrugging and tugs at our intertwined fingers. Though I refuse to let go.

"Do you want a blanket?"

"No. I'm fine, really." she replies tugging once again. This time I let her hands go.

"Okay no biggie." I reply and look back at the screen.
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When the movie was over and it was 12 pm we decide to go to bed. I insisted her on sleeping in my room while I slept on the floor but she denied and decided to sleep in the guest room.

Why is she so distant is what I always ask myself. Is it me honestly? My parents are distant, Eleanor was distant and now her?

All this isolation is driving me crazy.
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I'm back bitches. 😈