GAGE

41| l o v e

Pain erupts in sharp jolts through my pelvis every few seconds. My torn underwear lays in a ball beside my limp body. Tears blur the stars in the sky into a smudge above me.

I curl up against the brick wall when I hear rushed footsteps approach me, "No, no, no, no, no." Gage's voice sounds lowly.

I lift my head up from my arms and Gage crouches down in front of me, "Josie, what happened? Don't tell me what I think," he says wary, "Please," his voice cracks.

He moves away from me and paces back and forth with his head in his hands before coming back to me with red eyes.

"Josie, who did this?" Gage says in a rushed tone.

When he reaches for my arm I shake my head vigorously.

"Josie-" he reaches for me again.

"Don't touch me." I bark.

He looks away from me and his jaw clenches. His eyes turn glassy and he presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek and turns away from me.

He doesn't know what to do with himself so he buries his head in his hands. Silent tears still spill in pools from my eyes causing me to heave each second more than the last.

When he looks up at me again his eyes are wet. He can't be. Is he crying?

He isn't. He is.

"No, don't cry, babygirl," he says in a hushed tone, reaching his hand out to brush my tears away and I flinch. "Hey, it's only me. I'm not gonna hurt you, I've got you," he silently coos, causing me to ease into his arms. He holds me tightly whispering into my hair that I'll be alright. But will I?

I feel his tears wet my cheek causing me to choke on my own breath and I hold him tighter if it's possible. "Come on." He says in a gentle tone and picks me up carefully.

I keep my face buried in his neck and listen to his soft occasional sniffle until he sets me down in the back seat of the car. I lay my body across the seats and stare above me at the dark roof.

The ride is idle and I stay numb. The only places I have feeling left is the cheek that was hit and my pelvis. I have no more tears left so I take long breaths to steady my heart beat.

I'm being carried inside Gage's apartment before I know it and I'm being laid on the bed. I can't really think of comprehend my surroundings, but I can hear the sound of Gage yelling downstairs and throwing things. I don't know if he's in the phone and I don't care.

It would be somewhat appreciated if he at least tried to comfort me, even if I don't want it.

This is the type of shit Gage's people do. They do this- rape girls, take them hostage, and worse- and Gage is okay with it. He's helping the cause, but it's not okay when it comes to me. I'm not that special anyways. It's never okay, there are no exceptions.

I don't know why Gage is throwing a fit anyways. Why is he so upset? I'd be better off by myself; we both would be. I don't belong here. I shouldn't be here. I don't even know what this is. Whatever it is, it's not good for either of us.

Laying in the dark doesn't seem so bad. I used to be afraid of it, but I feel better. It's like I can hide and not be seen. All I want to do is curl up in a corner and die.

I don't know why, but my legs take me down the stairs. It's pitch black like it is upstairs. I find my way around the dark kitchen and run water into an empty glass. I can barely keep one sip down so I end up pouring it down the drain.

The only bit of light comes from the open window. The scent of smoke lingers around, indicating Gage is down here.

"Gage," I call out, my voice horse.