Battlefield of Changes

Letting Go

"Let's light the BBQ!" Mike cheered, changing the subject. Everybody ran over to where the BBQ was. Well Ryan and I walked. I'm still not in a happy mood exactly.

"Are you going to keep it?" Ryan asked as we made our way to the front of the crowd. I looked at him then proceeded to stand right in front of the BBQ.

I heard many 'what's she doing' being asked to Ryan who probably just shook his head.

A tear rolled down my cheek and I asked Mike "can I light it?"

He thought for a second before nodding. "You need to light something else, like a piece of paper or two and then throw that it ok?"

I nodded as he handed me the lighter. Everyone stared in awe as I set light to the end of the letter from the envelope. Another tear ran down my cheek as I watched the word 'mum' burn. I threw it into the BBQ with the envelope and then the photo.

Everybody cheered and clapped for me. It still hurt though. I took one final look at the ring before tossing that in as well. Ryan came and wrapped an arm round my shoulder. Then everybody else joined in and it was like one massive group hug. It didn't really help though.

It was painful watching my parents burn in the picture, because I've seen them burn in real life. It was just bringing it all back to me. The day my uncle came over. The day the house burst into flames. The day my chest got burnt. The day they died.

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"Sausage please"

"Here you go Marie. The sauce and stuff is on the table."

"Thanks Mike"

I walked across the grass and sat down on the wooden bench at the table next to Jody and Floss. Tyler was opposite.

"Marie can you do some dancing for us?" Floss randomly asked.

"I don't really feel like dancing now. Also how do you know I'm a dancer? I haven't been to lessons since I moved here!"

"You told me to day you came"

"Did I?"

Tyler gave me no chance to answer as he interrupted.

"You can play your guitar though can't you? Please!"

I felt a lot of people look at me, nervously waiting for my answer. I'm not that good am I?

"I can't."

"Yes you can!" Tee urged. "Please?"

"No I can't. My foster Mum killed my guitar."

"No way" said Tee slightly taken aback.

I nodded but Mike interrupted the conversation. "I've still got my guitar in the attic. If you have written something or you want to borrow it you know you can anytime you like"

"I know. I just don't really feel like it. Besides, school starts in a few days. I'm not going to be spending much time writing songs anymore."

"Why not?" Billie asked innocently.

"Because I'll be doing homework and studying and stuff. Most of my spare time will go more into spending time with people, not alone in my room writing down lyrics to songs!"

"That escaped quickly" Bailey joked.

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"Frozen!"

"NO! PLEASE JUST NOT FROZEN!"

"I agree. Choose something else Floss!"

After the BBQ, it's was film night. The BBQ was so delicious I don't think I'll ever be able to eat again! I had been upstairs and put my onesie on. It's shaped like a really fluffy dog and I love it so much!

I was with Jody and Floss. We were trying to decide on a film whilst everybody else finished getting ready for bed.

"How about the first Lord of the rings?" Jody asked.

"Don't be stupid. The little kids aren't old enough and it's way too long!"

"Fair enough!"

"Can't we just watch inside out? It's Disney, everybody loves Disney!"

"Ok" they both agreed to my suggestion. Floss got the DVD out of the massive pile of them that were in the cupboard. Everybody slowly piled into the living room and got comfortable on the sofas.

"I'm just going to the loo" I lied as they got the film ready to play. I actually got,up and went upstairs and checked Carmen and Kazima's room for any signs of Carmen being the person who wrote the letter.

There wasn't. Not one single thing. I gave up and went back downstairs before people got suspicious.

I walked in to see the film was ready on the home menu and everybody was just sort of lying around.

Ryan patted the seat beside him on the sofa so I went and sat down next to him. He was leant against the arm of the sofa so I leant against his shoulder as he pulled a blanket over us. He then put his free arm round my waist and I snuggled into his shoulder / chest.

Mike put the film on and we all sat in silence watching it. It's honestly an amazing film. Yeah I'm 14 but this film just gets to me. I honestly don't know why.

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Mike left to get everybody a glass of milk or water or something, I don't honestly know. I want paying that much attention.

My eyes are glued to the screen and I'm honestly about to start crying. It's at the really sad part where Bing Bong is forgotten to save joy!

I sniffed and Ryan looked up at me, as did Tyler and Kazima. Ryan held me a bit tighter and a couple of years ran down my cheek.

"What's the matter Marie?" Mike asked as he came back in with a tray full of drinks.

"Bing bong...joy...forgotten...!"

Mike looked at Ryan, basically asking him to explain.

"We just got the part where Bing bong is forgotten. She always cries..."

"It's sad!" I blurted.

"It's so cute when you cry over films" he continued with a smirk.

"Ssssshhhh" said Tyler and Bailey.

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"Marie? Mariiieee?" I heard the familiar northern accent.

"Hmm?" I said, opening my eyes. I'm still lying with Ryan with the blanket, but everybody else has gone and the tv's off.

"We fell asleep" he stated.

"We?"

"Yeah. I've only just woken up too!"

"What's the time?"

Ryan looked over to the miniature clock that was behind him on the table.

"Quarter past three"

"So why did you wake me up?"

"Because I woke up and felt lonely."

"Can we just go back to sleep?"

"Only if you're comfortable here."

"Of course I am Ryan. Are you comfortable?"

"Very."

We sort of snuggled into each other a bit more.

"Night Ryan"

"Night Marie"

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A/N

Sorry for not updating yesterday! I was busy getting things ready for book two which is coming soon!

Thanks for reading, voting and all your lovely comments xx