There is nothing. Nothing! Alone, afraid. Is there a way out?
Please tell me there is. Like a cat curling up under comfortable darkness as a faint light shines through mountains of blankets. Waterfalls cascading down, faint cries echoed, and pretty lies hide behind close doors. A cool breeze from the air conditioner sending chills down my spine, but I am already cold as ice. Even though my pink chipmunk cheeks are still hot, littered with punch and slap marks. Still throbbing, hearing my heart as it still beats frantically, like I am still running.
Running from them as their voices as it ring in my ears like the silence. Hearing the slurs roll off their tongues as there footsteps become louder and louder. Feeling their cold hands grab harshly on my jacket, pulling me down to the unwelcoming sidewalk. They drilled punches into my face, destroying me with their fists and words. Likewise with the same intensity started to kick my stomach making me cough up the crimson liquid that was once in my body, but now stained the pavement. Banging my head against the concrete, hearing my head begin to break open like an egg as they continue to laugh.
I then see him, just standing there like the coward he is. He says that he will protect me, he says that he cares, and he said he loves me. I mentally laugh now as the faint memory of him saying flashes to the front of my mind like an old movie. So long ago, when I was so young and stupid. Now I see the true beast that he really is. All he does is sit on the sidelines as I am beating pummeled to death by the other team i.e. the whole school. I am being burned alive by the dragon. And what do you do? You just sit there like the coward you are! All I remember was saying to him.
"You coward," I bitterly whimpered staring intently into his dark brown eyes.
All I feel is cold, as dark red begins to paint the dull grey concrete. I just stare at him, eyes barely open, slowly letting darkness take hold of me. The slurs finally stopped, there bitter hands took my warmth away, and he took my respect do him. The pain in my head only grew like my hatred for him. He stood there in utter terror, even when after they left. It is like he saw a ghost, a mirage of some sort. Only this was real, he is staring at pure hatred seeping out like my blood.
"F-Fuck you Carter," I said as everything faded to black.
Now here I am, in a hospital. My parents visit me for once a day and at least I have my phone drowning myself in so much Coldplay and Tumblr. My phone was about to die like me, so I pull back the white sheets to grab my charger when I saw him. His tan skin, his dark eyes, the familiar snapback. I sit up quickly which gave me a head rush. I hold my head for a moment and looked at him in terror. I then realized the waterfalls streaming down his cheeks. His hands were skating like there was an earthquake. Is he actually worried?
"H-Hey Mattycakes," he said in a shaky tone.
I internally smiled at the old nickname that he use to call me. Only on the outside my face was emotionless. He moved his chair closer to the bed side, gently taking my hand. He held it with both of his shaky hands, kissing it repeatedly. I feel his tears drip onto my hand as he pecks my hand. I hear him sob and whimper as I started to melt from that, but I stayed strong.
"I-I'm so sorry baby," he stutters out.
I ripped my hand away when he utter those words. He looked up at me astonished that I did that. The fury I felt inside was indescribable. He had the nerve to say that to me. Honestly if I was not crippled, I was unleash all of my wrath on him, not holding back. Showing him the pain he cause, making him feel the unbearable agony. Not stopping for anything until he finally receives the message. I then grabbed his collar and brought it close to my face.
"You frucking coward," I said teeth grinding,"You actually think I am going to accept your empty apology when you repeatedly leave me for dead, and constantly lie to me."
"When have I ever lied to you?" He asked arrogantly.
"I know about you and Maddie," I said blankly,"You know that sex toy you always play with."
His face turned red with embarrassment.
"Oh and that time you said the you would protect me," I said bitterly,"Well look at me now Carter, I am in a fucking hospital because of you!"
He covered his face to hide his tears.
"Oh and that time you said you loved me," I said laughing,"You piece of shit, if you actually loved me, you would go tell the fucking world on all your social medias, you would go to school, saying it in every class, and kiss me on the lips in public, but you wouldn't do it, you coward!"
My heart began to hurt as I started to sob loudly. Make it stop hurting. Make it stop! Why am I still here? Why do I have to take this? Love me. Someone please give me warmth, the strength to go on. Only I am left bitter cold because of him. The beast in my life. He then uncovered his hands from his face. He was about to hold my hand but I yanked it away. His lip started to quiver as more years soaked his face. He held my waist and pulled me close, feeling his over-active heartbeat. All I hear is a tiny voice as his warm breath hit my neck.
"P-Please," he whispered.
"Get out," I said in a low tone.
"B-But," he stuttered.
I pushed him off me which made him fall out of his chair.
"Get out, you beast!" I screamed.
Tears again filled his eyes as he stood up and ran out of the room. My head started to pound more. I saw some leftover Advil that my mom left me. I took my water bottle and the two Advil taking them. I finally calmed down, going back to charging my phone. Not even seconds later I see a notification from Twitter and Instagram. I opened up both of them and there was collage of pictures of Carter and me.
✨Matthew Espinosa✨, you are my moon. So beautiful yet so far out of reach. You are the closet thing I will ever get to heaven. We have known each other for far too long and goddamn it I can't take it anymore! Mattycakes, will you be my boyfriend?
Twitter and Instagram went crazy over this. The top trend on both social medias were #marterisreal. Maybe he is not much of a cowardly beast after all
