Imprinted to be Yours

A Touch and Dream of Truth

My thoughts were conflicting. I knew if Ness didn't love me, she wouldn't be home right now. She so easily could have stayed in South America with Nahuel and William and never spoken to me again. But then, if she loved me, why did she do what she had? I sighed hitting my pillow under my head with my fist. Why did things have to be so damn hard?! Just when things were looking up, they came crashing back down again! 

At some time, I had drifted off asleep only to dream of Ness through her point of view. I could feel how she felt and hear her every thought. It was raining and cold outside. She was staring out the window with tears in her eyes, just wanting my arms around her to keep her warm. All her thoughts were on me and no one or anything else. Nothing else mattered to her.  

She had a pen in her hand and a little book in front of her. As tears fell down her cheeks she started to write in the little pink book. It was her diary.  

December 8th, 7:50am  

I miss Jacob so much. Though I never thought I could miss him - or anyone - this much. Mum's worried as hell over me. She knows where I'm coming from. She's been where I am now, though the difference is that they've done this, not Jake. She's constantly telling dad we should go back home. But he and Alice does not think it's safe yet. We're basically running from them and I can't help but worry what would happen if they find Jake. He should have come with us. He's not safe at home with the Volturi wanting us. 

Dad says South America is our freedom right now. He thinks it's safe and we're nowhere near any humans so we can do what we want, how we want and when we want. But freedom for me isn't anything but missing Jake. I don't want anything else other than Jake. I miss his hugs, the warmth of his body, his smile, his laughter, how held me in his arms at night and how he loved me.  

Dad's hoping Nahuel coming over this afternoon will put some sense into me and snap me out of this state I'm in, but I'm sure it won't. I don't want to see Nahuel, but it looks like I will be whether I like it or not. 

December 9th, 12:01am  

I can't believe what I had just done to Jake. One second Nahuel and I were just talking and then the next he kissed me. The kiss reminded me of how warm Jake's lips were upon mine. But it didn't just stop with the kiss. . . How could I have done that to him?! I love Jacob and I miss him so much. I want and need to tell him, but I don't know how. It's not something you just tell over the phone or text. But when am I going to see him next? I know he needs to know. . . It was just out of the heat of the moment. It didn't mean anything. If I could change it, I would. Already I've gone over it in my mind thinking, 'maybe if I didn't do this' or 'maybe if I didn't do that,' it wouldn't have happened. But it did and I can't things now, no matter how much I want to. 

But is he going to understand that? I hope so. . . Jake means the world to me. I couldn't bear if I lost him after all these years of being together over one stupid mistake. I'm so sorry Jacob. I didn't mean for this to happen and I don't know what to do to fix it now. But I do, love you. Please forgive me. 

My eyes flashed open at how surreal my dream had been. I felt Ness's shock in herself and the sadness. She was disappointed in herself and worried. It was like I had been her or when she touched me to show one of her visions. I understood things better now, but it still hurt badly to think that she had cheated on me, whether she meant to or not.  

He took advantage of her, I thought. Nahuel knew the state Ness was in. He knew she was weak and venerable both physically and mentally. He better not see me any time soon. . .  

I noticed a cold breeze blowing into my room from my window. I sat up with my eyes narrowed. I couldn't remember leaving it open. The curtains blew through the wind, rising and falling again. As I went to close it, I smelt a familiar scent. Now my dream made sense. "Come in Ness. I can sense you're there," I sighed, sitting back on my bed away from the window, waiting for her to come inside. 

Biting down on her lower lip, Ness quietly snuck in through my window and sat on the side of my bed without saying a word. An awkward silence set in as I wasn't quite sure what to say. I had so many things to ask, so many questions and yet I didn't know if I wanted to know the answers. 

I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. Her eyes were closed while still biting down on her lower lip. I could sense she was trying to hold back the tears.  

"That wasn't just a dream, was it?" I murmured softly. She shook her head, whispering a no in reply.  

"That's what really happened," I said. It was more of a fact than question. I stared at my sheets, thinking.  

Ness nodded in silence. "I thought if you knew just how I felt, you would understand better," she whispered. 

I looked up and met her gaze. "I do now, but Ness . . . it doesn't change how I feel. You've got to know whose William is Ness. Just, tell me. I won't get upset about it. Just tell me," I whispered, wrapping my arm around her waist and bringing her into my side.  

She shook her head as tears overflowed onto her cheeks. "That's just it Jacob. I don't. I've tried to work it out." 

"How old is he?" 

"Three months," she sobbed. 

"Doesn't that say he's Nahuel's?" 

Much to my surprise, she shook her head again. "No. Jacob something was different with William. I was pregnant for a year and three months. Carlisle couldn't and still can't explain it. He grew and developed quickly and then all of a sudden it was slower than a human baby." 

My eyes narrowed in confusion. How could that be? It only took Bella around a month or two to have Ness . . . it didn't make sense. But then, what in my life did? What in this supernatural world made sense?! 

"Carlisle thinks that maybe my being with you or Nahuel didn't agree with my body or something, and that's why the pregnancy took so long." 

"I guess that makes sense," I murmured, running my hands over my face. "How long did it take you to realise you were pregnant?"  

"A month after we left," she answered. 

"And how long after. . ." I trailed off. 

"It was a week later. Jacob, when I found out, William was more the developed to the stage I looked two months pregnant." 

I stayed silent thinking for a moment. "You think he is mine?" I whispered, running the back of my fingers over the side of her face.  

"It's more likely, yes." 

The room went quiet again before I pulled at the helm of my shirt, pulling it over my head and leaving it on the bed. "I need some alone time Ness, to work things out for myself."  

Before she could say another word, I jumped out the window and took off running through the rain and towards the forest. I just needed some time to think without anyone having their input on things or telling me what to think or do. This was my decision and I needed to have a clear mind to make the right choice for Ness, William and I. What if he was mine and I had closed the door on both he and Ness? But then, what if he wasn't? Though surely he would have some kind of vampire qualities by now? Though he didn't bite me like Ness did the first time I held her. . .  

I glanced up at the dark sky, letting out a deep sigh. I knew what I wanted, but could I ever forgive Ness for what she had done? Hoped so. . .