Undercover Princess Mia | ✔

Undercover Princess Mia : Chapter Thirty Eight

Present :

" . . . Ethan just disappeared after that, partly because he was guilty since he shot Emma, the love of his life. He didn't accept Emma in this terrible condition and swore to take revenge on me." I swallowed a lump formed in my throat and concentrated on the road ahead. From the corner of my eye, I saw Noah sitting erect and stiff like a rock. There was an uncomfortable silence and it was eating me up. The guilt was gnawing me inside and I could feel it, I was on the verge of bursting into tears.

"Uncle John was a great man, he was like my own father. He was always there for me and he loved you Noah, your family and especially you. You were very dear to his heart and I feel miserable to-I'm so sorry. I'm s-sorry, I can't . . . " I apologised softly.

I couldn't control my tears as we arrived at the cemetery. My hand was trembling on the steering wheel and I parked the car in one corner. I turned towards Noah and he was still the same. His face was stoic, his eyebrows drawn into the tiniest frown and his jaw clenched. I placed my one, shaking hand on his cheek gingerly.

"I'm sorry, this is all because of me . . . I killed so many people and I don't even deserve to live. I'm a monster, I'm so sorry Noah. I-I . . . "

Silence followed as I quietly cried and he stayed still. I didn't know what to do so I withdrew my hand and placed it on my lap.

"Noah, please say something," I pleaded, but he didn't move a muscle. I slowly opened the car door and stepped down. Wiping a stray tear, I stood outside, staring grimly at the graveyard.

After an hour or so, I heard shuffling from inside the car. I didn't realize that I had been sitting on the ground with my head buried in my hands. I quickly got up amd Noah slowly stepped down. He was still the same, devoid of any emotion.

"Come with me," I said in a low voice and Noah quietly followed me. There was a little tension, but more sadness looming in the atmosphere. The weather was so glum and the sky so murky and grey like everything around us seemed to be grieving. We reached the grave of Uncle John and I stopped walking abruptly. Noah took a few steps ahead, bent down and read the memorial headstone. He squeezed his eyes shut when he realized it was his father's.

When Uncle John had died, I didn't know that my father didn't tell Carla about anything. He just sent a letter to her after a few days stating that Uncle John was dead. By then, Carla and Noah started disliking Uncle John all because of my father and me. It was the rights of one's family to know about their dead acquaintance, but dad kept it all hidden.

Though dad had secretly arranged for Carla's job, it wasn't enough. He couldn't mend Carla's or Noah's broken hearts. If Noah hadn't known about all this, he would have continued hating his own father for the rest of his life. Kyle had to grow up without a father, but at least he would be proud of his dad rather than hating him in the future. The truth had to be revealed since it was extremely vital and Noah deserved to know the truth, he deserved to know that Uncle John truly loved him.

Noah dropped down on a huge rock wearily, his shoulders sagged as he continuously stared at the headstone. I stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do and fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. All memories of Uncle John, his stories about Noah, everything was playing in my mind as if it was mocking me.

"Why did you lie, Amelia?" Noah asked in a shaky voice and the words started ringing in my mind as I shook my head frantically.

"I-I'm sorry," I apologised again while averting my eyes at the ground as I couldn't meet his eyes. "I wasn't supposed to tell you all this, but I-I . . . I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say, all I can tell is that I'm sorry, I reall am." Apologizing again and again would do no good. I had numerous chances to tell Noah everything, but I didn't, it was alm my fault. Noah didn't even look at me as he hid his face between his knees. He held the top of his head with his hands tightly in frustration. I couldn't see the expression on his face as I cautiously walked towards him. Slowly, I placed my right hand on his shoulder and at that very moment, his shoulders started shaking rapidly.

I quickly withdrew my hand back while my other hand was clamped over my mouth. My heart dropped at the realization that he was crying. His ears and neck had turned bright red as my own tears started rolling down my cheeks. Hesitantly, I placed my hand on his shoulder again. My knees were buckling as I barely managed to breathe. My eyesight turned obscure as I sniffed.

"Noah, p-please don't cry, I-I'm so sorry," I choked the words out and suddenly, his shoulders stopped shaking. He lifted his head a little high, but I still couldn't see him. My hand remained on his shoulder and before I could say or do anything else, he shrugged my hand off. That was when I felt immense pain searing into my bones and heart. He didn't want me, just like my father had predicted. He probably didn't even want to see my face ever and he was right. I caused him all this pain, I was at fault. Everything until now, was my fault.

I backed away and waited for him to say something, but he didn't. I wiped my tears and turned around to hastily run towards the car. I was feeling so dizzy because the feeling of guilt was overwhelming. I opened the door of the car and fell on the seat. I took a deep breath and glanced at Noah.

He was far away, but I could still see him. He lifted his head up and his entire face was red and his hair was sticking in different directions. He didn't see me, but looked around while trying to wipe his tears away. I didn't want to cause him more trouble so I quietly drove back to my so called home.

I parked the car and told the driver to send a car at the cemetery for Noah.
I strutted inside, but was immediately blocked by Zen. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him, his condition was terrible too. His blonde hair was tousled and his stormy grey eyes looked gloomy. I didn't want to create drama and in my brain, all thoughts were running a marathon so I ignored his presence and quietly looked down.

"Please come back to me . . . Hey, hey, what happened to you?" he asked sincerely and I slowly looked up.

"I told Noah everything and now he hates me! He hates me, but I deserve this, don't I? That must be good news for you though," I muttered bitterly and he shook his head.

"I'm not that heartless and as much as I love you, I don't want to see you cry. Remember, no matter what, I'm there for you, at least as a good friend," he said in a low voice and my eyebrows furrowed.

"You never acted like a friend of mine so why pretend now?"

"I'm changing Mia for good. I want to be there for you as a friend in your difficulties. I want to be something more, but I can't see you in crisis. I want to win your heart, but I know it's difficult since your heart has already surrendered to that country boy. But I'm always there for you, as a friend and maybe something more in the future. You can tell me everything."

"Really, thank you, that-that means a lot to me . . . " I cried and hugged him, trying to seek comfort in the a person that I would never even bother to talk. My fresh tears soaked his expensive shirt, but I could care less. He rubbed my back soothingly and I needed a friend to tell and share everything. To ease my guilt in some possible way which was horrible. I deserved to be drowned in guilt and misery after all I had done.

We both went to my room where I told him all that had happened. He didn't try to get close to me nor did he try to remind me of our past. He did not try to invade my personal space either. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything wrong about Noah nor did he taunt or mock him. He just quietly listened and said a few valuable words which provided me a bit of solace.

For the first time in our entire lives, he acted like a gentleman and was genuinely helping me. Sharing problems with him helped me to cope up with my feelings to a certain extent. My annoying fiancé had become my new friend within a day.

However, I didn't know what was going to happen the next time I encountered with Noah? What if he travelled back to the town? And what if he never forgave me?