I woke up in a dusty old room, still wearing last night's finery and with a pounding headache. This didn't look like the Hilton Grand Penthouse Suite Puddin' had promised we'd check into for a celebration party...and then I remembered. Everything.
The pretty maid (that's what I assumed she was) only talked in Spanish, but luckily I'd taken it in high school and knew at least that "desayuno" meant breakfast, and, sure, I'd have some. She led me out to a long oak table filled with chattering girls and mewing cats underfoot. I scratched the head of a plump, bright-eyed tabby, wishing Mr. J would let us have cats instead of hyenas for pets.
A surgery-enhanced blond with Angelina Jolie's lips and her Gone In 60 Seconds dreads squinted at me.
"You're that Harlequin chick?Aren't you?"
"Yeah," I replied proudly. A midnight-haired knockout, lithe and slenderly muscular tapped her spoon against the outside of her martini glass that she'd filled with cranberry juice that looked delicious.
"Girls! Harley's staying with us...her man is in lockup at the funny farm."
"Really?" I gasped, horrified. That evil, awful Batman!!!!!!!!! I was staring in shock at her, and then I realized that she looked familiar.
"You're Selina Kyle," I blurted, "of Kyle Escort Services!" They looked so young and pretty and normal, not the stereotypical type of girls that peddled intimacy-for-pay as a career, the type of painted, dolled-up aging pros that strutted the darker allies by where we lived. It was so sad. Was she hiring me? No way would I betray Puddin' like that!
"So would you do this for me?" she asked when we were alone and everyone was off doing whatever it was they did when they weren't working (she let them have the morning and early afternoon for their own lives).
"Why?"
"Br -Batman, he was worried about you. He's picked some of my girls out of sticky situations with psycho customers before. We're kind of friends."
"Sure,"I muttered, only because I'd be alone with the hyenas if I went home.
"You couldn't have backed out anyway," she added as I joined up with some of the other girls to go shopping.
"Really?" I asked sceptically.
"Yeah. He said you had to stay until Joker gets out of Arkham, whether legally or illegally."
Wow.
So I was a prisoner.
Wonderful.
On the upside, I was going shopping with friends, something I hadn't done since college...and there was supposed to be a good sale at Victoria's Secret....
(Author's Note: I got the escort service idea from a Frank Miller comic book; sorry if it offends anybody because it's just my favorite storyline for Selina Kyle.)
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My Boyfriend Is a Psychopathic Clown: Harley Quinn's Story
FanfictionDating the Joker (especially the hot, Heath Ledger-type Joker) is a dream of many Batman fangirls (me! ME!!!!!! But only if I can't have The Scarecrow, a la Batman Begins\Cillian Murphy's sexy-psychatrist Dr. Crane, who makes glasses hotter than abs...
