My Boyfriend Is a Psychopathic Clown: Harley Quinn's Story

Gangster's Moll

I woke up with a lump in my throat; the tears from last night's crying spree had dried on my face. Poor Puddin', alone in solitary! I didn't realize I'd said that aloud until the blonde stirred and rolled over in her bed.

So they'd given me a roomie - a newbie, maybe even.

"Where's Pammie?"

The girl sat up. Her eyes were clear and blue. She was soft-spoken.

"Ivy got out last week for good behavior. And if it makes you feel any better, I'd rather be alone, too."

"I wish Arkham had co-ed cells."

She laughed.

"You are the Joker's girl! Hi, Harley - I'm Peyton Riley."

"Where's your puppet?"

Her mouth turned down.

"They locked Scarface up in a supply closet, I saw them. I know this sounds ridiculous, but that's degrading! I could keep him in check just fine."

"I say that about my man, too," I said jovially, feeling that I'd found a kindred soul.

"Morning, ladies!" a cute orderly, fresh out of college from the way he was shaking in his canvas sneaks - tapped on the glass.

"Fancy some breakfast?" I thought I'd be feeling too heartsick to eat, but finding a gal pal in Peyton pepped me up.

"I'd fancy him," she whispered conspiratorially as we watched him walk away to get our breakfast trays, and we giggled.

I'd forgotten how fun it was to have a friend.

We had pillow fights, made rat-tails out of our thin towels in the shower and swatted the nasty orderlies who sassed us...and each other. Whenever we missed our cohorts, Peyton scrounged up new mischief for us to perform. Our names often rang out as shouts in the halls.

"Harley! Peyton!"

"Quinn! Riley!"

"I've never been so bad here," I confessed, after my side hurt from laughing so much at Peyton's blonde jokes, told from the puppet made out of a black nylon stocking.

"Not even with Pam?"

"Not with Pammie. We roughoused, and flirted with the guards, but it's different with you."

"She doesn't have a partner."

So that was it.

I would have been happy, being a girl with Peyton Riley...if it weren't for her.

"Who is that?" The whitecoat was curvaceous, curly dark hair thick as her curvy body...and she was talking to my Puddin'!

"Her?" Peyton's button nose wrinkled.

"That's Dr. Queenie Hartz."

Author's note: Lannie, I'm sorry for making Jean Grey pregnant in my Bat \ X - Men Crossover. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Remember you know the next four chapters' worth of upcoming plot twists, so I think that makes us even.

Unicorn horns and licorice sticks!

-Mrs. Cillian Murphy (just forget about my 10 other husbands. You're first in my heart, dearest!)