Forget Me Not

Chapter One

It had been six months since the accident, but despite the much-needed respite in the States, the memories Rianne lost – two years worth of images, feelings, thoughts – still hadn’t returned. Two precious years had been erased from her memory. She felt as if she was twenty-five again. No one dared to fill in the blanks, not even her two best friends, Alyssa Ignacio and Jason Santiago.

Why only those two years? What really happened to her during that time? Was it terrible? Happy? Sad? Will someone tell her the truth and put together the missing pieces of the puzzle? Or will she forever be living in darkness and just continue her existence without any recollection of those two years?

Rianne came back because she figured she was never going to remember anything, and running away from her life wasn’t going to help in anyway. So she decided to face the music and maybe even learn to dance to the rhythm.

Somehow, she wanted to make herself believe she was going to be okay and that she was fine without those memories. But she couldn’t deny she was not. She wanted those memories back even if it meant pain or extreme sadness. She wanted to be complete.

She went straight to her apartment from the airport and as she looked around the place she abandoned, she felt happy to finally be back to her small but definitely not lonely apartment. Finding it ready to welcome her back after all these months made her think it was worth going back to her old life. Everything was in place. There were photos of her with her two best friends, her family, and some people at college parties. Were the pictures really this few? She was hoping she could find some clues but there were none.

Before all became hazy, this apartment was her sanctuary from work, where she could relax and do whatever she wanted. She liked having her own space and that made her feel in control of her life. Now, the familiarity of the surroundings and the things in it made her feel as if she knew herself completely and that she didn’t have to pretend she was okay.

She looked around and saw that nothing was out of place. It was still the way she remembered it. She felt safe here and no one would judge or pity her for losing a part of her.

Back in L.A., Rianne lived with three aunts, and though they seldom asked if she was okay, she knew they felt sorry for her. What happened a year ago, when they had that grand family reunion and she couldn’t join in on the conversation, was hard for them to forget. She remembers just sitting there with a blank expression on her face, and they fell silent for a moment and exchanged awkward glances until someone changed the topic into something more general. But they never asked her if she was doing okay or how she was holding up or if she was coping well. Those six months were not about her finding herself but running away from herself. It wasn’t about trying to remember but trying to forget that she had selective amnesia. She went here to get her life back, or at least part of it.

Three years ago, when she moved out from her parents’ house, she felt like she had everything under control, that she had put her life together perfectly.

But now, it seemed like she was thrown into a black hole and had to grapple her way out of it to complete the puzzle that is her life.

She picked up the pile of unread letters slipped through her door while she was gone. There were lots of get-well-soon cards, unpaid credit card bills and a bunch of letters from an unknown sender with a drawing of fireworks on the lower left corner of the envelope—these must have been sent here by mistake. She shoved the whole pile of mail inside a bag and resolved to deal with them the next afternoon.

But for tonight, there was the bienvenida that Alyssa organized in Rianne’s honor. She had to attend because everyone she knew would be there. This would be her only chance to get to know the people she had met within those two years and if she came across someone she couldn’t remember meeting, she would take the opportunity to ask them about those missing years, hoping they could shed some light to the darkness that had enveloped her.

As Rianne walked into the private room of the restaurant, she took a deep breath and shook off the nervousness about who she might meet there. She was excited at the same time but the dread of discovering what she could about her lost memories was killing her.

The first one to greet her with a kiss was Alyssa, who guided her in. Her parents and sister were there, a few aunts and uncles, more college friends and some high school chums. One of the last to come forward was her best guy friend, Jason . She reached the end of the room and was overcome by disappointment. She knew everyone there. She kept looking around, searching the whole room for an unfamiliar face but she recognized them all, except for her friend’s companions who were introduced to her. Other than them, no one seemed out of place.

How was it that she could not remember anything that happened and no one there was unfamiliar? Did she not meet anyone new in those two years? Welcome back, Rianne, they all said, and she’d manage a smile despite the workings of her exhausted mind.

Her search had become futile and she was massively disappointed. she was so looking forward to getting that piece of her life back but ended up with nothing.

Disillusioned, Rianne wanted to call it a night. She completely lost interest in the gathering after hugging the last person but stayed because she didn’t want to be rude. Everyone was there to support her and she should have been grateful.

But why was it that whenever she asked anyone about her lost two years, they tried to avoid the questions and changed the topic? What were they hiding from her?