Secrets Between Us.

Chapter 25 "What I Lost"

~Rebecca~

Im just fucking up everywhere. I used to be that awesome girl who would never fuck up anything. I lost my mom ten everything went down hill fro there. My boyfriend cheated on me, well I thought. Then i fucked my best friends ex. Then she found out. Then I ran into Max and got the living shit beat out of me. I cant do this. I need to leave. Get away from everyone. Im 17 now.. I can do what I want right.? I GOT IT! Im going to have to leave Austin though... I dont want to. But i fell like im just making his life more miserable. I cant do that to him. I want to be my old self again. The only way im going to be able to do that is a new start.

"Austin.. We need to talk." I said making him stop playing his video game. I love Austin, but I cant hurt him anymore.

"Yea baby whats up.?" Austin said coming up to me and kissing my cheek.

"I... I love you alot never forget that.. And I feel like this is the best thing to do cause I feel like alls im doing is making you more miserable. Your my first and only love... I love you till the end of this planet.. But I feel like we need to take a break...so I can fix my life. Cause everything's going down hill. I just need time to think." I looked Austin in the eyes...he was crying. Hard core crying. Like sobbing.

"No.. Your not leaving me. I love you more then anything. Im not letting you go. Never. I promised I'd be here threw everything, and im keeping that promise. Im never leaving. S..so if you leave, im coming with you." He said crying after he grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him.

"Austin.. You dont get it.. Im not myself anymore.. I need to get back to me. I...I need to find myself." I said crying. I couldnt let him go what the fuck am I thinking.

"NO YOUR NOT IM COMING WITH YOU.!" Austin screamed at me. I stood up and started to walk out. Austin wasnt lying when he said he wasnt letting me go. He followed me. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me close.

"Im not giving up without a fight." He said looking into my eyes and crying again.

"AUSTIN YOU NEED TO LET GO, I HAVE TO FIX THINGS!" I screamed at him crying. We were both crying hard. I ran out of the room, tears streaming down my face, I heard Austins foot steps trailing behind me.

I kept running, he really wasnt letting me go. I had no idea were I was going. But I was going there. Michele was in the kitchen. As Austin and me were screaming at eachother she came out and seem us crying. I stopped. To wipe my eyes then I continued to run out the front door.

I got in my car and drove off. Austin running after my car. "I LOVE YOU! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME.!" He screamed he fell to his knees. I watched him as I drove down the street. He looked crushed, heart broken. I did that to him. I went to the only place that I knew were I could get myself back... My old house. Its right one the beach, sand, with the relaxing waves. The perfect place to think about what im going to do with my life.

~Austin~

She left. I sat there on my knees in the middle of the street crying. I cant live without her. Shes not coming back. My mom came into the street and helped me up, alls I did was cry.

"Baby its okay hunny." My mom hugged me she didnt ask what happened cause she knew I wasnt ready to talk about it.

She finally got me inside. Everything was a blur. "She left mom... She not coming back." I said laying in my moms lap.

"Yes she will hunny dont say that." My mom said playing with my hair.

"No, mom.. Shes not. She said she needs to find herself again. Cause she hasnt been herself. She said that all shes been doing is hurting me. But she said that she loved me more then the planet before she broke up with me. How could she do this.?" I started to cry again. I had about 8 bags of skittles already. The bags were thrown everywhere in the floor. I know im acting like a girl. But no this is what happens when you actually love someone.

"Austin... You guys are in love everyone knows you guys are ment for each other. The way you guys looked at eachother, its obveous. Shes your cinderella and your her prince charming. Chase after what you love Austin. Fight for it. Fight for her. Give her a few days then go for it. Maybe she just needs time to think." My mom said kissing my forehead. Still rubbing my hair, comforting me.

~Rebecca~

I was at my old house, we never sold it so technically I still lived here. I went out back as the sunset was setting and just watched it and relaxed by hearing the waves. But then memories were coming back to me. All the good ones. My mom and me swinging o the swings at the park. My mom and I laying out on the beach... That night when we were goofing off. Then Austin. How we used to play all the time when we were little. When we met up at the carnival the first night we started dating. Th..the way he looked at me. All of our memories just flooding my thoughts. Of Austin. When we went for a walk on the beach when I picked him up from the airport. Everything. Everything we did was perfect. Everything he did was perfect. Then the memories of us making love. Me feeling loved for the first time in a very long time.

My phone kept going off, I didnt answer it though. Then the memories from my mom came back to me. When we would go play in the water when I was little, she would hold me. This id when my dad was there... We were the perfect family. But me and Austin were more perfect. I was thinking about the 2 people that ment most to me. Austin and my mom. I walked threw the house, every place I looked there was a memory of my mom and I. And when Austin would come over and stay the night. We would play videos cames and play on the beach... In the sand. I went into my moms room and layed down. And cried.

"Mom what do I do.? You left me. And from there my life when down hill." I said quietly. I remembered me walking into my moms room in the middle of the night and waking her up because I couldnt sleep. She would stay up and talk to me. After a while I finally drifted of to sleep.

"Rebecca hunny do you wanna go play on the swings.?" I heard my mom calling for me.

"Yes mommy.!" I screamed running up to her and giving her a hug. She pushed me on them. We were smiling an giggling and laughing having the time of our life's.

Then I was 15 when I started to find out i liked Austin. I told her this was her reaction.

"Hunny, I like Austin, he likes you its obveous. Go for it. He loves you. Hes the one for you. Once you have hi never let him go. I promise you he will treat you better then anyone else. You dont want to end up like your father and me." She said to me hugging me.

"I know mom. Thanks. I love you." I gave her a smile. She smiled back. Seeing her smile again made me cry. Then my dad came in.

"YOU WHORE!" Screamed at my mom and hit her.

"YOUR A MONSTER!" She screamed at him.

"AND YOU" he pointed at me. "YOU LITTLE SLUT, DONT EVER LISTIN TO YOUR MOM SHES USELESS.!" He screamed at me, I jumped up.

"AHHH" I screamed. Ohh it was just a bad dream.. I hoped when I woke up Austin would be there to make me better but he wasnt. Alls I did was sit on my moms bed and cry. It smelled like her. Like cigerettes and dr. Pepper. I was sobbing. I seen my phone light up. It was a text from Austin.

From Austin<33:

"Hey baby... I know you probably dont want to talk to me but im just letting you know I miss you, and love you with all my heart. I cant sleep becuase your not here with me. I love you more than anything. I hope you realize that. Im here if you need anything, im still your best friend no matter what. Again I love you." I started to cry harder. I cant handle this stress. I need to do something about it. I got up and went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. "Mom im sorry that you have to see this." I said before I slid the knife over my wrist lightly. It was bleeding. I just stood there crying.

"Good job you finally realized your useless." I heard my dads voice from behind me. I slowly turned around, I seen the monsters face.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! DIDNT YOU DO ENOUGH! YOU HURT MOM AND ME.! SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND AND THE BEST MOM YOU COUDL ASK FOR.! YOU RUINT HER! SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, SHE DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO YOU.! LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE! PLEASE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I screamed at the monster. And with that I ran.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VOTE! COMMENT! PLEASE!

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING.?

CAN SHE EXCAPE.?

HONESTLY... THIS CHAPTE RHAD ME CRYING!.