A Tail of Stars

A Tail of Stars - Chapter Thirteen (part 1)

Mathias was standing in front of my bedroom door, hand still on the knob, thumb pressed firmly against the lock.  He was watching me, contemplating something.  I’m sure he was strategizing, coming up with a way to help me shift without the pain, but all I could think of was how he’d looked at me seconds before.

With the door closed the room seemed smaller and Mathias seemed to fill the tight space.  There was nowhere for me to go where I couldn’t see him, his lean muscles, his full lips, his hands.  Those strong hands with such long fingers.

His attention shifted and his brows pushed together.  “You’re panicking?”

“Yeah,” I squeaked, glad he couldn’t tell the real reason I was getting worked up.  He moved so fast I didn’t have time to react, crossing the space between us and crushing me in a hug that nearly took my breath away.  The warmth of his skin soothed me till I’d forgotten everything but the comfort he provided.

Mathias pulled away and looked down at me.  “I won’t let anyone hurt you.  Not even you.”  I laughed and a lock of hair fell across my eye.  He brushed it behind my ear.  “We should get started, not allow your nerves time to build up.”

“Okay, so what?  I concentrate real hard?”

“No.”  He smiled while shaking his head.  “You do the opposite actually.  Relax, just let everything go.”

“Right, sure.  Just let everything go.”

“Okay, yeah, sorry.  Look at me.”  I did what he said, looking him in the eyes.  Softly, he ran a fingertip over each of my eyes, closing them.  “Tell me about something that soothes you?  A specific feeling.”

Instinctively my hand went to my neck but the smooth beads weren’t there.  I rubbed the blank space left behind.  “My necklace, I lost it when I changed the first time.  It was the one thing that always helped me keep sight of what is important.  My mom made it for me from the branch of a tree that taught me a crucial lesson.”  I winced at the memory.

“If it’s too personal—“

I put a finger against his lips to ease his discomfort.  “I want you to know.”  I pulled my hand away, alarmed by the boldness of my action.  Feeling awkward, I launched into my story.  “When I was nine David dared me to climb the tallest tree in his yard.  Of course I couldn’t not do the dare.  I scaled that tree like it was nothing at all.  I was so proud.  I felt like I was on top of the world, invincible, Ya know.  At least till I started back down and the span between the branches that seemed so close together on the way up, was a lot further apart.  My foot slipped and I lost my grip while I was pretty far up.  I glanced off a few branches and was headed straight for the ground.  I swear this low branch moved to catch me.  It gave it’s life to save mine, snapping but holding on just long enough that I rode it down.  It almost seemed like it lowered me to the ground safely, before giving up and collapsing to the earth, having served its purpose.”

“Don’t move,” Mathias said, bolting from the room.  He returned a minute later, his face was lit like he contained a small sun within.  “Close your eyes,” he commanded.  Reluctantly, I obeyed, shutting myself off from his image.  He took my hand and turned it so my palm was up.  He closed my hand around the familiar warn, square beads.  I gasped and opened my eyes.

“How?” I asked.

“I knew it was important to you.  I collected the beads and restrung them.  I was gonna give it to you when we got a moment but things have been a little out of sorts and I haven’t gotten the chance.”

“Thank you.”  I rubbed my thumb over the wood, taking my time to gain strength from the memories it held.  “You don’t know much this means to me.  Mom made this for the year she died.  It not only reminds me of the tree’s sacrifice but hers also.  Mom made me a deal when I was really young.  She told me If anything ever scared me I should hide under the bed and wait for her.  She would come for me when it was safe.  The night of the fire, she headed into the smoke and flames to coax me out from under the bed then she shielded me from the flames.  We stumbled onto the lawn where she died with her arms around me, protecting me.  It’s the only thing I have of my parent’s that didn’t burn.”

“Maybe we should do this another time,” Mathias said, his voice somber.

“Are you nervous to be around me?  Hearing about the fate of the last two who tried to help me?”  I nudged him, trying to lighten the mood.  He cocked an eyebrow but shook his head instead of saying anything and closed my eyes with his fingers again.  He took the necklace from my hand and I could hear him set it on the shelf by the mirror.

“Okay, focus on the feeling of running your thumb over the beads.  Let the experience take you away.”

I did and after a minute I could feel an itch or maybe a tickle running up my spine, like when someone breathes down my neck.  It was sort like the heebee geebees.  I let my shoulders shake with it and was startled by the feel of hair on my back, shifting.  I wanted to open my eyes and look at myself but I kept my eyes closed.  The sensation was almost pleasant and it hadn’t hurt.  I was still standing on two feet but I wondered if I looked like Mathias and his father did, like a wolfgirl.

The thought made me smile and I felt my face changing.  It stung a little but nothing like before.  Changes began taking place more rapidly.  Bones began rearranging and growing.  I gritted my teeth and tried not to show how much it was starting to hurt.

“Don’t fight it.  Let yourself go.”  Hearing Mathias’ voice, I realized I’d begun to panic.  I took a couple deep breathes and remembered the feeling of my mother’s beads.  The pain lessened, though it didn’t disappear.  I started noticing scents and sounds I’d never noticed before and then I dropped down onto all four.