Look Closer | Mavi | Dreamingletters & LittleCarokind

15. Doubts

Mitch's P.O.V.

Now that I'm sober, reality is hitting me. I'm kissing Avi. Avi is kissing me back. Holy fucking shit. All this time I spent fantasizing about this big bass daddy is finally a reality, and I couldn't be more in the moment.

Both of us fill the kiss with intense passion as we move in harmony. His hand gently cradles my head for support and leverage, which I find very cute. Each time we come up for air, we exchange a sensual expression and go back in for seconds. And thirds. And fourths. I may idolize Beyoncé over Britney, but the taste of his lips have me on a ride. Hopefully for me, he isn't toxic.

We finally break the kiss and Avi just leans in beside my head and whispers sweet nothings in my ear. Aside from a lot of creative compliments, he made sure to thank me for helping him find himself.

"I'm the first one you've thought about this way, right?" I asked him, insecurely doubting his potential to love me in the future.

"Yes, and still the only one at this point." He replies, blushing profusely. He is SO cute.

"In that case, I don't want you to make a generalization of your sexuality. Don't rush and say you're bisexual just because you started experimenting. It could just be because I'm particularly feminine that you like me, you might not even like men at all when it gets further than kissing." I'm filled with doubt. Even though I initially said this to warn him about how fluid and confusing sexuality can be, I soon realized that if we ever get around to sex, he might be afraid or even grossed out by it. My mood dampened completely.

"Remember what I told you before?" Avi began. "I don't want you to worry about us, because no matter what happens, you'll always be special to me. Nothing can change that, not even a breakup, or a failed attempt at intimacy." He reassured me that his feelings are real, but everything he's ever said regarding his sexual preference is still haunting me.

"I get that, but I'm just so scared because I'm attached at this point. I might even want to say..." I trailed off. I'm not ready to finish that sentence yet. Not even close.

"Say what?" Avi prods.

"Something I'm not ready to say yet. We'll both know when it's time to say it, don't worry." I explained. "At the very least, I think it's safe to say that we've reached step two!" I exclaim positively, maybe a little too loud.

"I think you're right. Say, how many steps are there, Mr. Grassi?"

"That's up to you, Big Daddy" I wink back at him, biting my lip.

I slowly back away from him and make my way up to my bed. It may not have been the most smooth action, but I think I still managed to keep him wondering, hopefully in a sexy way. I don't have a lot of experience flirting with purpose, considering how poorly my tinder experiences went.

Avi followed suit and went to his bed as well, but not before undressing in front of me, earning a twitch in my pants. I know what I'm going to dream about against my will tonight.

~

The next morning I wake up with an uninvited guest, and curse as I have to hide him on my way to the bathroom. Taking care of that was a breeze thanks to the source material from last night. I shower in record time, get all my other morning duties completed, and join Kirstie in the lounge, who must have woken up earlier because she slept first.

"Hey Mitchie!" She said, stretching with a yawn.

"Bonjour" I reply, subtly practicing my French for our France tour dates. This time I'm talking to the crowd, taking a burden off of Scott's shoulders.