Look Closer | Mavi | Dreamingletters & LittleCarokind

10. Afraid of Heights

Avi's P.O.V.

When I wake up the next time it's because I'm a little bit cold. Well, not entirely, my front is nice and warm because that's where Mitch is lying, cuddled up against me. I carefully move so I can take a look at him. He's sleeping soundly and that is something that makes me smile. He looks so beautiful when he's sleeping. His slender body moving with his calm and rhythmic breathing, facial features relaxed and peaceful. I could keep staring at him for a long time and would still discover more little things about him that I didn't know already.

I think back to our movie night. How we started with a simple, yet cute, movie and ended up in each other's arms and then shared another beautiful hug afterwards. A hug that I had offered, wanted. Back to when we started talking. When Mitch started talking.

Hearing Mitch talking about possible feelings towards me should have sounded weird to me, maybe. But it didn't. Yet, I was faced with a problem. I could've tried to let him down easily, could've told him that I only see him as a friend and that it wouldn't change because I am into women.

I didn't. I decided otherwise. I told the truth, revealed what I felt about the past moments we've spent together. How I used meeting his date at Starbucks as an excuse to touch him, feel him. How I really enjoy being with him and how I'm questioning everything, yet am not sure about how this will all end up.

We might be standing directly in front of the staircase, maybe we even made our way up the first step with cuddling up tonight, but I'm afraid of what stepping up the stairs will bring, how it might actually change me.

I sigh deeply and look down at the brunette in my arms once again. I feel utterly comfortable and this is more than enough for me at the moment. I hope Mitch had understood me right and would help me figure out what I want, try to clear this foggy mess of feelings up for me, with me.

But I am so scared to hurt him. What if my feelings are just something that happened in the spur of the moment? What if I'm attracted to him solely because he gives me attention, because he cares for me? I don't want to cause him harm. He's so important for me, I need him in my life. Yet, I'm not sure which position he should have in it. Band member and colleague? Friend? Boyfriend? I don't know, I'm confused.

I'm lost in my thoughts when I feel Mitch stirring in my arms. I focus back on him and smile when I see his eyes fluttering open.

"Hey, Mitchie" I whisper calmly.

Mitch's eyes meet mine and light up. "You're awake" he states. "I woke up earlier and you were sleeping soundly. Must have fallen asleep again."

I nod. "Somehow I felt so calm and relaxed when you fell asleep during the second movie."

He winks at me. "I was so warm and comfortable inside your arms and slept really, really good. You snore, by the way. Only a little bit, though. I think it's adorable!"

I blush a tiny bit at his compliment. Mitch somehow knows how to make my heart beat quicker.

"So... are you like really awake or do you want to sleep more?" I ask, trying to change the topic real quick and thus conceal my uncertainty.

"'What time is it?" He asks and grabs his phone from the coffee table. "Urgh, 3.30! More sleep, definitely!"

I chuckle at the cuteness that is Mitch Grassi. "I second that, but we should get you into a real bed."

Mitch nods. "Yeah, that's a good idea, Daddy." He sits up slowly and rubs his eyes. "Damn, I'm dead tired."

I get up as well and stretch my limbs. "Come on, I'll show you to the guest room." I stretch my arm out to help him up and then walk him up to the spare bedroom which Kevin and I have set up with a comfortable king-sized bed and everything else that is needed if someone is staying over. It is always prepared, just in case.