Audibility- A Miss Peregrines Fanfiction #1

X-Men vs. MPHFPC

Hey guys. First of all, I'm super excited about the movie trailer released recently. I can barely contain my excitement! I don't know how I can wait until September 30th!

So, because I was going crazy for the new trailer, I decided to scroll through some comments, and what I found displeased me. All those X-men remarks. So, I know somehow HISHE or Epic Rap Battles of History will touch on this subject, but I want to get this out first. Let me know who's was your favorite. At the end, you decide, who wins. And, in a way, what is better. Let me know in the comments.

PS, I like X-men, but not nearly as much as MPHFPC. I simply find it annoying people can't enjoy both without comparing one to another.

First up is Charles Xavier.

"You might think you're oh so special, Miss P
But I'll bet you've never seen the likes of me
You've got special children and creepy things called hollows
But when I'm finished with you you'll be hanging in the gallows!"

Miss Peregrine was appalled at his rudeness.

"Funny you'd say that, you creepy old man
Because I've seen smarter people in my own land
And if you think a minute you can beat us anyway
You're sadly mistaken, so just go away!"

"What should I expect from a bird-woman such as yourself
I've heard that one of your wards keeps hearts on a shelf
Maybe if you were stricter you could keep control
How bout I teach you a lesson in proper roles?"

"How dare you suggest you are better than me
Yes, one of my wards can actually grow a tree
And while I don't enforce discipline it's plain to see
You are indeed quite rude, hope you get stung by a bee!"

The Beast took a turn.

"Hey, the name is Beast, and I must say
Why on Earth are we fighting in this awful bray?
Why, while I'm here I guess I'll rap
So try to keep up, don't fall into my trap."

Millard, who was well informed on the subject of poetry, decided to defend his headmistress's honor.

"My name is Millard, I'm an invisible boy
And I am almost certain you've devised a sort of ploy
Well, I'm here to tell you, I'll fight with pure smarts
Using large words makes this rap off the charts."

Gambit went against him.

"I think it's really sad you think your nanny's so cool
And while we're on the subject your dog Addison drools
Pets aren't even allowed at our awesome school
So get out of our way, cause you all sound like fools!"

Millard shot out more lines.

"You say pets aren't allowed, take a look at the Beast
Take off with your tails between your legs at least
And maybe we will leave and laugh about this
Miss P is a bird, all you've got's telekinesis!"

The peculiars looked around at awe at Millard's awesome rhyme. The X men looked nervous.
Professor X went a little too far at the next verse.

"Your rhymes are old, but you are all older
What are you, elders, organizing crap in folders?
Look, I'm willing to cut losses at your God-awful rhyme
Get out now, you are all wasting my time!"

Hugh stood up, fuming, ready to defend his home.

"Look here everyone, at this places residents
They're all American, with their Presidents
I'll bet my bees can kick your butts any day
So any time you're ready, let's go play!"

Storm went up for team X.

"You Brits think you're cool, with your Queen and Minister
But I'm now sensing something much more sinister
With all powers comes great responsibility
And you young-old people are abusing your ability."

Horace tried his luck.

"I say, madam, you're calling us old
Age versus experience, that's what I've been told
I dress better than you, in fact wear a top hat
In my opinion, your outfit makes you look like a rat."

Enoch seemed to sense it was his turn and stepped up.

"Look, I'm the guy with hearts in a jar
And I can see you airheads won't make it very far
I'm one-hundred eighteen, you can't best me!
But feel free to try against my homunculi army!"

The Beast chose this moment to step back in.

"Now, listen here, you little chimney sweep
With a wave of my arm, your dolls end up in a heap
So go sit back down with your peculiar friends
At this point I'm not sure if our groups can make amends."

Bronwyn decided to rap as well.

"What's left to say, except a simple thing, this;
Stay away from us, lest you want to feel my fist
There's no reason to fight when we can live our lives in peace
But I won't expect you to, you have tempers like geese!"

Beast went against her.

"Your threats are empty, you crazy girl
Your face in front of me makes me want to hurl
Head back before we turn you all in
I really don't think you'll survive prison."

Millard took up the end.

"It's obvious you can't rap without insulting others
Say something rude, you can run back to your mothers
Miss P, I say we're done here, unless there's something you must say
But, honestly, let's go home, it's been a long day."

"Now, if you want to be insulting, let's try that route
How old is this place, it smells like a trout
Fiona's got landscaping down, our grass is always neat
I bet you let normals do it, we've got you beat."

"My last names Nullings, it means you can't see nil
Just think of that in your house on a hill
I am peculiar, indeed invisible
My peculiar friends and I are, well, indivisible!