So the surgery went well and I have to go through recovery for about 6 weeks. I missed my chance with the national team so that's that. I'm trying to pretend I'm fine but I'm dying inside but nobody needs to know. Ali and Ashlyn came to say with us for the week. Hope and Carli say its because the just wanted to catch up. But I think its because I can relate to Ash and I talk to her. We have this huge test for German so were all at my house studying.
"Fick diese (Fuck this)." I say.
"Can we stop now? My brain can't take all this." Amanda says.
"Yeah I'm done too." Ryan says.
Hope calls us into the kitchen to eat.
"How's studying going?" Hope ask.
"Es ist schmerzhaft (Its painful)." Sofia says
"Come on it can't be that hard." Ali says.
"Das hat sie gesagt (That's what she said)." Mark says.
Everyone but Hope, Carli, Ali, and Ash laughed.
"Amanda Sie wissen alles uber das tun , nicht wahr (Amanda you know all about that right?)" Ryan says.
We laugh again.
"Warum lachen Sie Rylee habe sie nicht Sofia Stick- (Why are you laughing Rylee didn't Sofia stick-)." Ryan starts but I limp over and cover his mouth.
"I don't even want to know." Hope says.
"Do you guys not notice that your speaking German without even trying?" Ash ask.
We all look at each other and guess Ash is right. We all sit down and start eating. I don't really eat I kinda push my food around I'm hungry but I don't want to eat. I don't know why I don't want to eat but whatever. I can feel Carli, Ash, Hope, and Sofia starring at me. I get out of my chair and go to my room. When I get to my room I close and lock my door.
That probably isn't the smartest thing to do knowing what's going through their minds but I don't care. I open my window even tough its like 20 degrees outside and sit on my bench. I let the coldness numb my body, its better than any other way I would choose to numb the pain. I take off my pants and shirt so the cold air is hitting my bare skin. I don't know how long I've been sitting here but I wake up in my bed. I don't really remember what happened before that but now I have a pair of sweatpants on and a long sleeve shirt. I get up and go downstairs when I get to the living room I stop because I hear Ash, Ali, Carli, and Hope talking. I guess they sent everyone else home.
"She scared the living hell out of me, I can't loose her." Hope says.
"You won't loose her you just need to get her help." Ali says.
"My parents had to do the same thing with me." Ash says.
"Its either she agrees to get help here at home or we try rehab." Carli says.
They think I'm crazy.
"We can set rules and if she refuses then rehab it is." Hope says.
I'm not crazy...Right?
I walk into the kitchen and get a bottle of water out of the fridge. I hear footsteps and when I turn around Ash is standing there.
"Hey." She says.
"Hey." I say.
"Come on your mom wants to talk to you." Ash says.
We both walk into the living room. I go over and sit on the couch in between Carli and Hope. Hope pulls me into her side and I lay my head on her shoulder. Ali and Ash are sitting across from us.
"So do you remember what happened? You were pretty out of it." Ash says.
"Um not really, it all just feels like a bad dream." I say.
"Well Rylee its kinda like what happened last time. I tried to go on as if nothing really happened but keeping a close eye on you which didn't work so I'm going to set some rules that I need to you follow. And if you don't follow them I'm going to send you to get help." Hope says.
"You think I'm crazy don't you?" I ask.
"Hey nobody thinks that." Carli says.
I stand up and go sit on the floor, I pull my knees into me and rest my head on my knees.
"What do I have to do?" I mumble.
Hope told me all the rules I would have to follow:
1) I have to eat all my meals
2) I have to keep the door open and unlocked at all times
3) If I'm feeling anyway I need to talk to someone
4) I'm not allowed to be by myself for long periods of time
5) Anything I could potentially harm myself with will be taken
6) My phone, TV, and computer access will be monitored
7) I need to be in the house on school nights by 8 and on weekends 11
8) If I'm staying at a friends house parents must be present and know about these rules
9) If any rule is broken a consequence will happen
10) Any rule can be added or changed at anytime
Well I'm not going much of anywhere until I get this damn cast off my foot. I think these rules are a little much but if Hope feels like they'll keep me safe whatever. I'll try my best but I feel myself slipping back into my old ways...oh well
YOU ARE READING
Twist, Turns, & Broken Promises...
FanfictionSo my life changed and trust me when I say I wouldn't be here without them. But who am I? You'll just have to read my story to find out. Now let me tell you this as a disclaimer my story is rough. Its not all unicorns and rainbows where I come from...
