Look Closer | Mavi | Dreamingletters & LittleCarokind

10. Afraid of Heights

"I'll lay out some towels and a fresh toothbrush in the bathroom, if you want to go before sleeping. Apart from that, feel free to do whatever you want, if you wake up first" I explain to him. "And if you need something, you know where to find me."

"I will. Thank you!"

"You're welcome. Good night, Mitch!" I turn to leave him and go to the bathroom but he stops me.

"Avi?"

I turn around once more and look at him. "What's up?"

"Can I have a hug? A good night hug?" He looks at me with puppy-eyes and I can't help but step up to him and pull him into my arms. It's a long hug, just like the first one we shared two days ago.

It feels good to have him that close, his body melts into mine and I don't really want to let go. But I'm tired and we need to go to bed to get a good night's sleep.

"'Good night, Avi" Mitch whispers into my ear before letting go. "Can we have breakfast together before I need to leave?"

"Of course! I won't let you drive home on an empty stomach, Mitchie" I return. "Good night. Sleep tight!"

"You too, Avi!"

I make my way into the bathroom first, quickly brushing my teeth and then laying out everything Mitch could need. Afterwards I retire to my own bedroom, lying down immediately. I'm tired, yet my brain wouldn't shut up. My heart had told me to take Mitch into my own bed, to cuddle and be close to him. But my mind, my brain had told me to go to bed alone, which was obviously the right thing to do, although it doesn't seem right to me right now. I felt so comfortable in his proximity, whenever I was interacting with him I was so sure about everything, right now I'm not.

~

I wake up after a fitful sleep and decide to get up after quickly checking my phone. Nothing new. I quickly look around the house to see if Mitch is already awake. It doesn't seem like that so I decide to take a shower and prepare breakfast to lure him out of the bed.

Once I have tidied up the remnants of the night before, I set the table outside on the patio and go to the kitchen to prepare a nice breakfast for the two of us. Once I'm almost finished and only need to fry the eggs, I go back up the stairs to check on my guest. I knock softly but when I don't get an answer I slowly open the door.

"Mitchie?" I ask softly, smiling when I see his small figure lying in the huge bed, with his back turned to me.

"Mmhm... Morning" he hums sleepy and turns around slowly. "What's up?"

"Good Morning. I'm preparing breakfast, if you want to eat something" I explain. "There will be coffee, too!"

"Yes, thank you. Just give me a few minutes to wake up. I'll simply come down then."

I nod. "Yep, I set the table out on the terrace. The morning sun is beautiful out there."

"Okay, Daddy. See you later."

Downstairs I fry the eggs and prepare coffee for the two of us. Once I've carried everything out and am satisfied with the assortment of breakfast items in front of me, Mitch makes an appearance. He is looking good, I love the make-up less, slightly dishevelled version that is morning Mitch.

"That looks amazing" he exclaims when he looks over the table. "Thank you."

I smile at him. "You're welcome. I promised you breakfast after all, didn't I?"

He shakes his head in disbelief and sits down on the bench next to me. "I really mean it. Thank you for last night, for listening to me and for talking. It really means a lot to know where you stand, where we stand."

"It means a lot to me, too. I still am everything but sure where this journey will lead us. But at the moment it feels good and I hope we maybe can just continue to explore, if you want to?"

"Yes, definitely" Mitch says without hesitation. "We'll figure this out taking babysteps. Just stay in the moment, enjoy the feeling, because that's what I'm doing."

I nod my agreement, yet I'm not entirely sure. "But what if I hurt you during the process? What if things don't turn out the way we want to?"

"You won't hurt me, Avi. You're way too thoughtful and sensitive" Mitch ensures me and then takes my hand, squeezing it softly. "And now come, let's have breakfast, Mummy is hungry."

I squeeze back and smile at him, glad for his assurance. "Yeah, let's eat" I then return. "Dig in. I don't know about your breakfast habits so I just prepared a selection of things."

"See? You're thoughtful about everything" Mitch states. "Even if it's just breakfast." He winks at me and then takes some scrambled eggs.

I load up my plate as well and together we eat in silence. My thoughts wander back to last night and the staircase again and I can't ignore the slight hint of anxiety.

What if I want to climb the staircase with Mitch, but am afraid of heights?

~~~~~~~~~~~