Tris is Alive: Aftermath

Chapter 21

Tris POV

    Well that went way worse than what I thought it was going to go. All I needed was Tobias there by me, making sure they weren't taking me away all of a sudden. That turned into Tobias being by my side then all of a sudden him and Bruno fighting. I sigh as I think about it again, why did all of this have to happen?

    I decided to get to bed early, everything that happened today really did bring my mood completely down. From being scared that they were going to take me away from everyone here to then having to watch two people I care about fight. It's just been a long day. I lay in the bed, trying to relax and quiet my mind but it just isn't working. My mind is racing with everything. Will they come to take me and erase everyone's mind that I was here? Or will they just take me back and not care on what anyone has to say?

    I quickly rush back over to Tobias and he's just sitting on the couch, staring off into space. I stand in front of him and after a few seconds I finally catch his attention. "Is there something you needed Tris?" I look at him, before any of this happened we were never really emotional with each other. Only holding each other when we really need it, not talking about our feelings. I open his arms and go into them, holding onto him as if I'm holding onto life. I can't leave again, I just can't. I hear him sigh, "What's the matter baby?"

    I look up at him, "Tobias.... I love you. I really do love you." He slightly smiles and touches my cheek, "And Tris Prior, I love you so much. You really have no idea." He kisses me, softly at first but then the passion builds up. After a few minutes we both need to pull away for air. I smile and I cherish the embrace, this is where I truly want to be. "I don't want us arguing Tobias, I know things are really hard right now, especially with the Bureau. I just don't want that to cause a wedge between us. I can't lose you."

    He looks down, "Tris you can't go back there... you just can't. I'm not losing you again." I run my hand up and down his arm, "You're not going to lose me Tobias... but I do need to go back there."

    I can see fear in his eyes, he starts shaking his head, "No Tris..... no....... you can't."

    I make him look at me, "I have to Tobias, I have so much unfinished work there-"

    He interrupts, "What about here? What about your friends? What about Caleb? You know what, forget them. What about me? Tris I lost you once, I can't lose you again." I can hear anger in his voice, he must be having flashbacks to when I was gone. This is all too soon for him.

    "Tobias I'm not asking for permission. I have to go back there or they will forcibly take me away from everyone. I'm not going to move back there but I do need to work something out with them-"

    He interrupts again, "Them? Who's them? David? The man who tried to kill you. Amar? The man who covered up your death and was able to look everyone in the eye and pretend everyone was okay. Or is it Bruno? The pansycake who obviously wants you to go back so he could be with you." He lets go of me and gets up, walking away from me.

    I follow close behind, "Tobias stop. I know you are beyond overwhelmed right now by everything but please don't act like this. David has gotten better, Amar helped me through everything and Bruno... well Bruno is my friend. One of the first friends I made there, please don't be like this. None of that matters, what matters is the work I done while I was there. All the progress that was made. I must finish what I started, I have to go back. I'm sorry."

    He looks at me for a few moments, probably registering everything that I just said. My heart feels like it's about to come out of my chest, all I can see is sadness within him. I slowly walk towards him and he shakes his head, turning away from me. He rests his hand on the counter, as if that's the only thing holding him up. I hear him start breathing heavier, as if he's trying to control himself from crying. I steady my breathing, hoping that I'm wrong.

    It's quiet for a few moments and then he looks up at me, tears slowly streaming from his face. "I can't believe you Beatrice, leaving after everything that happened. We just got you back... I just got you back. I can't lose you, I can't. We talked about this before, but you don't know how hard it was for me. All that time... thinking you were dead." His voice falters on that last word, he squeezes his eyes shut as if he's trying to shield himself from everything. I step closer again and his eyes open fast, "NO STOP." He shouts.

    He starts backing away from me, "Beatrice please... just stay there." He leans on the wall, "I can't control if you stay here or not... I'm just sorry I couldn't be enough." I open my mouth and he holds a hand up. "Please don't say anything, please. Just don't." He walks towards me and pulls me in his arms, I try my hardest to not start crying. He gently kisses me and I lay my head on his chest. "Beatrice I love you, I always will. If you want to go back, then I'll let you go." My heart breaks, "Tobias... I want to be with you... don't do this." He squeezes me tight, "You need to continue your work there... just... know that I love you. I'm always going to love you no matter what. This is the hardest thing that I have to do. I'm going to let you go Tris. I'll take you to the Bureau myself so you can figure everything out. Okay?"

    I just hold onto him tight, not saying a word. None of this should have happened, none of this. I guess this is what break-ups are like, a huge argument that leads to the ending of a relationship. Tobias picks me up and takes me back to the room, laying me on the bed. I don't want to accept this, this can't be over. I want to speak but next thing I know is that I'm drifting off. Feeling his lips on my forehead.

3.10.16

A/N; #SorryNotSorryJustKiddingImSoSorry

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