My Letters to God.

Letter 80

I never did like roller coasters Father God. The fear of going all the way up and the feeling of flying or falling off my seat makes me cringe but the emotional roller coaster is what really wears me down Lord. God...my eyes feel like they can not cry anymore yet I still cry with all my might. I find it hard to fight the enemy but You are teaching me that is what the enemy does. He messes with us, plays and toys with our minds and it affects our emotions and bodies so badly that just waking up or going to sleep feels like a sin. It's so frustrating Father in Heaven. Knowing I belong to you yet not feeling like it because the attacks on my mind. God. I know I belong to you and you tell me every day, stop feeding the devil and push on. To keep going and don't stop. Come to You God with my baggage and heart because I need to endure. I need to stop taking my heart back. Forgive me Father for always slipping up and taking my heart. I don't want to keep doing it but I always do. I'm not going to stop though Jesus. I'm not going to stop following You Jesus because You make me better. You make me strong and when I am alone, You bring me my family. Church was amazing today Jesus. Every time I feel on the verge of week I can't wait to feel your presence so thick in the church, surrounded by my family who doesn't judge me but pushes me to keep going for You and shares with me that they gone through the same stuff as well. My family are even getting closer. My dad and I had a good talk and I'm glad that he knows You Lord. It's amazing what happens when I just trust You Jesus and let You push me to my family. My dad told me stop listening to the lies in my head. To pray whenever the voices come and rebuke the devil when he whispers because he can not touch me. He can only toy with my head. Mary and Monica and Josie and my grandparents said the same thing. I need to praise You Lord. Stop listening to the devil and start looking at You Lord! I need to see You and get into my bible. Stop letting the depression, the pain, the worry, and the laziness get the best of me. I need to practice what I preach and smile through everything that goes on and know I am in YOUR hands Lord. My family is in Your hands Father God and You always, ALWAYS looked after us. You never once written us off and You call me friend Jesus....me, a failure throughout the years, You called me friend. You call me Daughter. Sister. Love. Beautiful. Precious. Smart. Breathtaking. Delicate yet strong because You are working through me Lord Jesus! You call me Your child God and in Your loving arms I want to remain. Thank You God, Jesus for always getting me through this cycle and never turning Your back on me. Thank you Jesus for never letting me drown and telling me the truth. Lord...thank you. Amen

Candy.