My Letters to God.

Letter 42

Just you and me God. I went to the youth meeting at Newlife today as I do almost every Thursday and today lesson was fellowship with you. We talked about what fellowship with you is and where we are with our relationship with you. I found it fascinating and perplexing to be honest God because when I think of fellowship I do think of talking about you with other people like my aunt or my friend Bubbles but it doesn't cross my mind that having a fellowship with YOU is intimate time with you ALONE. Our relationship by ourselves where there's nothing else and no one else on my mind except you Lord. It was even more fascinating because a girl (I forgot her name.) she's been unemployed and having nothing to do with her life just like me and she was explaining that she has anxiety and felt that she wasn't truly fellowship with you until this year (I think...geez now i'm forgetting great._.) and I had to say something because I was thinking about that today. I have no life right now Lord. No job, no friends to talk to unless it is through text and I hardly text. Come to think of it I texted Jessica Today-no I snapped chatted her. I was texting Grant and my aunt. but with all my close friends I had before I graduated high school, before I gave myself to you Lord-there is nothing and it got me thinking. Maybe this is you helping me focus on YOU and not everything out in the world. Getting me to hang out with mature followers of You Lord rather than non believers since I am a new born right now. Learning. You quieting the world so I can look at you and only at you. Another thing we talked about was the many ways we spend time with you. Reading the bible, singing or listening to worship music, I think my way is writing. I love reading and writing Lord and since following you I got into reading a lot of devotionals for you  and these letters. These letters is my way of talking to you in a sense. That's how I feel Lord. I feel close talking to you with these letters. Although I have been 1) neglecting to write a letter every day and 2) I was becoming selfish. I felt and still feel myself being selfish and shifting towards writing this for selfish reasons and forgive me Lord. I do not want that. Everything Letter I write I want it to be from my heart to you. To be honest and talk to you like you talk to me. I am sorry Lord. Please help me fight temptation and selfishness. That everything I write it is from my heart to you and only you Lord. Thank you for all you give me and continue to give me Lord for I do not deserve anything. I pray for those who are still lost or are going through trials they feel they can not overcome. I pray you lift them up and let them know that they are never alone. That everything you planned is for the good and that you are always with every step of the way. I pray for the homeless and poor; that they are blessed greatly Lord and that we have compassion for them. For my family that they open their hearts and ears and eyes and see each other's sides of things. I know I get angry; my flesh burns with anger at times with my family but please help me not to lash out in flesh. That when anger takes over I breath and pray to you for calmness and peace only you can give me. Thank you for being my Lord and Savior. Thank you for being God who wants me. I will put you in the center of my world, universe because that is where you always belonged. You belong my everything just as I am yours to do as you please. In the name of Jesus: Amen.

Candy.