The Most Dangerous Game (Harry Styles AU)

58

-Harry

My mind is hazy as my hands stuff my things in to my carryall. My clothes and a few random items starting to occupy the same space they did when I moved my life over here.

I almost laugh to myself, the fact that I've literally nothing to show for the life I've made in New York becoming more apparent the longer I pack. But it's not funny, cause in the end I really am leaving with nothing.

The career I moved three thousand miles for.. the money I'd invested to be able to do so... it was all for nothing.

It wouldn't matter if things had turned out differently. If one thing had turned out differently, I wouldn't give a shite about the rest. If she was coming with me, if she had wanted to come with me.. f.uck if she cared about me at all, it would of been worth it.

But she's not. She didn't want to. She doesn't give a s.hit about me.

Before I realize it my hand has gripped onto the small lamp sitting on my desk, throwing it across the room and into the wall. It shatters instantly, the sound echoing loudly around me.

This is why I always kept things casual, why I never opened up to anyone. Cause I never wanted to feel like this. My heart literally hurts, making my chest tighten with each breath.

I shouldn't of told her I loved her.

If I hadn't maybe I'd still be at hers right now, blissfully unaware I was being utterly played. But my heart would of been broken at some point, probably a point where I'm even more invested then I am already.

Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, I rest my elbows on my knees and drop my head into my hands.

It just doesn't make any sense. None of it.

She opened up to me, at least to a small degree. She let me in against her better judgement. She didn't do that for a good lay, she wasn't the sort. She couldn't have been just playing me.

Or maybe she was, and I'm just to f.ucking blinded by love to realize it even now.

Maybe she was just having fun, she was probably f.ucking Carter the entire time. Lying to both us.

It would be easier for me to believe that was the truth. Easier to move on, turn my feelings for her to hatred and forget her.

But I can't. I'm in love with her.

I groan, running my hands through my hair and tugging on the ends.

This is pathetic.

I'm pathetic.

She wants nothing to do with me. She sent me on my way. She f.ucking told me she doesn't feel the same.

She doesn't love you Harry. F.ucking accept it and move on.

Standing up abruptly, I take a deep breath before shoving the rest of my things in my bag.

"Going somewhere?"

I jump slightly, surprised by the sight of Nate standing in the doorway to my bedroom.

"F.uck." I sigh, realizing I hadn't given a thought to telling him my plans. "I'm a wretched best mate."

"You're just now realizing that?" He scoffs teasingly. "How many times have I told you.. Real friends give friends their Netflix password."

"You still going on about that?" I raise an eyebrow at him. "You hacked it ages ago."

"Still, would be nice if you'd offered it." He shrugs, "What's with the lamp? Reminds me of my life's aspirations after my father told me  being awesome wasn't a paid career choice."