Pennies (Nagito Komaeda x Fem! Reader)

I Know They're Both

Maybe it was only a nightmare. It didn't seem like it actually happened. It was pretty ridiculous, I mean, what the hell?

The fact I woke up in my own bed, completely unscathed and well rested, really made me think that was the case. I could resume living the way I did before, studying hard and loving throughout the cycle.

I almost convinced myself that whatever had happened, simply didn't. I was only imagining it, all of it, that I was still the person I was back in December.

But I wasn't.

What made Komaeda do that was beyond me. Could it have been an accident, and could he have wanted to kill himself right then and there? All these notions enveloping my mind, I shifted to the side of my bed and then stood up, my knees wobbling. I felt really weak, almost powerless. Once I stumbled down into the kitchen, I was greeted only by my mother, who was staring blankly into a cup of tea.

"Mom?" I stammered, confusion in my voice. She slowly turned to me, tears welling up in her eyes as she pulled me into a tight hug. She tried to speak, but she couldn't make any coherent words. I hugged her back, feeling serene and at peace.

I spent the rest of the day laying around in my room, still not entirely sure about Komaeda's state. Or my own, for the matter. I wasn't even sure if I was in reality. But once night rolled around, I suddenly felt strange. And I couldn't keep myself from sobbing my eyes out.

Mid-sob, I heard a few knocks on my window, I peered out it to see Komaeda standing below, looking the way he did before the incident. Confused, I dashed down the stairs and to the front door, letting him in.

"Hello, (y/n)," He sang as he kicked off his shoes, the same tone i had known and loved in his voice. My face was pink from crying, but he didn't seem to mind. In the matter of a minute, we were sitting together on my couch in silence.

"What happened?" I asked brazenly, unsure of how to exactly initiate such a conversation.

"I, um..." He stammered, unable to look me in the eye. "How... do I explain this?"

"I don't have all day," I scoffed.

"No, I'm sorry. I just want to forewarn you with the fact that I really care about you... hell, I love you," he exclaimed, evident that there was definitely something on his chest.

"I... love you too," I stuttered awkwardly. "But that is besides the point. What. happened."

"Well, I once was part of a group called the Ultimate Despair. These were some of the most talented kids on the planet, all my age. They were so infatuated with this sick and twisted idea of making everything, including themselves, suffer. I once was just like them, but that was a while ago. They suffered under delusional brainwash, which made the friends I had known and loved into absolute monsters. Anyways, I fled all of them shortly before they enacted any truly harmful plans. Which were truly grotesque and horrible, mind you. They disbanded shortly after my leave, so they never got to cause any harm.

And then, I'm not sure what had gotten into my worthless self, but I felt some of the most powerful despair ever. It has nothing to do with you, not at all. So, I had tried to kill myself. I filled the gun up with bullets in all except one hole, making it probable for me to just die right then and there."

"But you didn't."

After I uttered those three words emotionlessly, Komaeda looked up at me with a strange expression. Guilt. Sadness. Regret. Fear. Those and more registered on his face.

"I..." Was all that could escape from his lips.

"I'm just glad you're safe," I gushed, a hearty grin on my face as I wiped at some of my tears using my sleeve. Komaeda stands up and wraps his arms around me, throwing himself to the side so that I was now lying down, sandwiched between him and the couch.

"I promise, I won't let anything hurt me or you in all the time we spend together," he wheezed, his breathing less than steady.

"It's ok," I soothed. "Don't worry now. Let's just relax. Deep breaths."

"You're something else," he chuckled as he buried his face in my hair.

"That makes two of us, then!"