I'm Not Okay (rewrite)

Chapter Twelve

"Caroline? Are you ok?" I feel cold hands gently touch my forehead. My eyelids are too heavy to open at the moment, but it sounds like Gerard.

"Gerard?"

"No, it's Mikey. Gerard went out to the police station to file a report against that stalker guy. Who is he anyway?" I finally open my eyes, and see a very worried Mikey leaning over the bed I'm laying in.

"He's my ex." Mikey nods, and leaves the room. I look around a little more, and see that I'm in the room that Gerard and I were in before dinner. With a glance at the bedside table, I become aware that it is 9:00 pm. I get myself out of bed, and walk into the bathroom to take a shower.

I pull my shirt off, but I stop when I suddenly feel violently ill. Quickly, I manage to get myself knelt down by the toilet before puking.

"Caroline?" I hear Ray call from outside the bathroom.

"I'm fine!" I manage to choke out before puking again.

"No you're not! I'm coming in!" He yells before entering the bathroom, and pulling my hair out of my face.

"Woah, are you ok?" Mikey appears at the doorway.

"Yes," I say, but my body betrays me, and I throw up again, "no."

"Are you pregnant?" Ray asks. I can't be. It's not possible! I'm too young! Plus Frank and I only did 'it' like twice.

"I don't know..."

"I'll go buy a test." Mikey grabs his coat and leaves the hotel room.

When Mikey gets back, I've stopped throwing up.

"Here." Mikey hands me the bag, and I head towards the bathroom. I take the test, and place it on the counter, before setting a timer on my phone. In just three minutes I will know if I am carrying the child of one of my two ex boyfriends. Oh, I hadn't thought of that. It could be Adams. Who knows what happened while I was passed out?

"You done?" Mikey yells through the bathroom door.

"Yeah." I open the door, and crush Mikey in a hug.

"What is this for?"

"Everything. But especially for being here for me."

"What about me?" I release Mikey, and turn to see Gerard. He can't know about the test!

"You've been there too, I just didn't know you were here. And also, where is Claire?"

"I'm right here, boo!" Claire jumps out from behind Gerard. "I went to the station with him." I nod, then hear the timer on my phone go off.

"I have to pee!" I panic, and push everyone away from the door, then close it. Ok, here I go. I'm going to look at the test. No I'm not. Yes, I am. I have to. With a very shaky hand, I lift the test. I hear it hit the floor before I fall to the ground. Positive. I'm having a baby. And I don't know who the father is.

"You okay in there?" Claire's sweet voice fills the room.

"No." I say so gently I'm not sure she hears, but she does. My long time best friend walks into the bathroom, immediately spotting the pregnancy test on the floor.

"Oh."

"Can you take me to the hospital?"

"Why?"

"Maybe they can tell when the baby was conceived. I need to figure out if it's Frank's or..." I trail off. I don't want to say his name.

"Oh, ok. Are you going to tell Frank?"

"Not until I know if it's his." Claire nods, and we leave our hotel room, then the hotel.

The drive to the hospital is short and quiet, but not as short and quiet as the wait for my test results.

"Miss Allen, you are, in fact, pregnant. It seems the baby was conceived on July 16th."

"Oh my gosh, thank you thank you thank you so much!" This means the baby is Franks! It's going to be so much easier than if it were Adams.

My rush of energy is ended when I enter the hotel room again. The guys are all sitting in the living room looking sad.

"What's wrong guys?"

"Nelly is pregnant. I'm not ready to be a father!" Frank says. Oh god, is he in for a surprise. I'm not sure now is the right time to tell him. I get apologetic looks from Ray and Mikey when I step towards Frank.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll be a great father."

"No, I won't be. She's getting an abortion."

"WHAT?!" Claire and I scream in unison.

"But you will be a father," I say softly.

"What?" Frank asks, confused.

"Reasons," I say, then glance at Claire for support. She understands and bites her lip, probably thinking of how to tell Frank.

"Frank. You are going to be the dad of a beautiful baby. Beautiful mostly because half of the genes are from Caroline. And it will probably be short too. The poor thing will have to go through the struggles of being short, like you and I have," Claire says and sighs. "Also if you don't want to be a dad, then it sucks to be you." I glare at Claire and she laughs.

"What? How could-? I don't understand," Frank says, in shock.

"I'm pregnant." I whisper, barely audible.

"But... We... How?"

"Do I need to give you the sex talk?" Claire barely manages to speak before bursting into a fit of laughter. Frank's face turns red.

"Obviously not." Frank retorts.

"What are we gonna do with the baby?"

"We could put it up for adoption?" Frank suggests. It's takes every ounce of strength in my body to not go and slap the shit out of him.

"ARE YOU INSANE? YOU WANT ME TO GO THROUGH THE PAIN OF PREGNANCY AND CHILDBIRTH, THEN JUST GIVE MY BABY AWAY?"

"Caroline! Stop yelling it's like midnight! It was only an idea."

"Yeah, a stupid idea." I mutter.

"See? See this? This is the reason we broke up! You can't just listen and be understanding! You're so difficult!"

"We didn't even technically break up! I'm so tired of you criticizing me! You wanna know why I didn't eat? Because I was scared you would leave me! I wanted to be perfect for you! All that effort I put in was just a waste of time, because I had my life endangered, and you didn't call, or even text. You went and got my best friend pregnant!" I rant, then storm off to my room. What did I ever see in him?