I'm Not Okay (rewrite)

Chapter Three

At 8:00 I hear the doorbell ring. I grab my backpack, and sprint down the stairs and to the foyer at full speed, slipping a little on the rug. I open the door to a smiling Frank.

"Ready to go?" He asks politely.

"Yeah, one sec." I pause before screaming, "CLAIRE, NELLY! FRANK IS HERE!" I hear them squeal and run down the stairs. Claire is wearing the homemade MCR crop top I made her for her birthday and a pair of ripped shorts. With the shirt being so short, you can see her naval piercing. I look to Nelly and smile excitedly. She is wearing a bullets sweatshirt and my old dance shorts.

"Stealing my shorts again, are we Nelyasia?"

"It's not like you can wear them anyway!" She blurts out, then covers he mouth with a shocked look on her face. She knows I have scars on my thighs, and can't wear shorts. I slap her arm, and turn my attention back to Frank.

"Ok ladies, we've got to get going."

"Ok!" Nelly and Claire say in unison. They are still starstruck, just like I was at Starbucks. I think I'm a little more used to Frank now. Frank lead us to his car, and I awkwardly sit in the low seats. I'm short, but these seats are really low. Frank puts the key in the ignition and drives us to a medium sized theatre a few minutes away from my house. When we get out of the car, Frank offers me his elbow with a goofy grin on his face. I intertwine my arm with his, and we skip, yes skip, into the theatre.

We enter the theatre through the back door, and my jaw drops to the floor. I can see the rest of the band standing in front of me! They look at me and laugh.

"So this must be the fan girl you were telling us about, Frank!" Mikey states.

"Ok yes, I'm a fangirl, but I'm not that bad," I argue. Frank nods, and I see a flash behind me, and suddenly Claire is hugging Mikey.

"Claire, no! Bad girl!" I say, slapping her arms. She finally lets go, and Mikey rubs his side.

"Geez, she's a small thing but she's got some power in her!" Mikey laughs. Gerard and Ray chuckle at the statement, and Claire blushes. Nelly steps forward, and reaches her hand out and touches Gerard's arm. She seems surprised when she makes contact.

"You're real? I can't believe I'm touching the real Gerard Way!" She whispers.

"Neither can the real Gerard Way!" He chuckles, and Nelly let's go, obviously embarrassed. Someone motions Frank towards the stage, and all the guys leave, ready to play. I stand in the wings, and hear them start to play Cemetery Drive, then Dead, I'm not Okay, Helena, and finally Sleep. The band exits the stage, and they high five each other, then us girls.

"That was great! Nice fro flipping Ray!" I gleam to them.

"Thanks! The fro has majestic powers!" Ray says, protectively holding his hair. I giggle, and the girls start talking some nonsense about music, but I don't pay attention. I spend my thoughts on Frank. He seems to be staring at me too, but I'm too lost in thought to notice. Does he like me? I think I might like him, but everyone has a crush on their favorite band member. I'll have to spend more time with him to know how I feel.

When I come back into reality, I see Claire messily making out with Mikey, and I gag a little. Nelly is talking to Gerard and Ray, I'm too distracted to know what they're talking about.

"Frank, can you take me home? I'm tired." I really just want to be away from the noise of the crowd. It's giving me a headache.

"Yeah. Mikey can drive your friends home later," he tells me.

"Okay. Let's go." Frank leads me out the door, and to the same car he picked me up in. I hop in and fidget with the radio, deciding on Fat Lip by Sum 41.

"Ooh, I love this song!" Frank squeals with delight and I laugh, singing along with the inspirational lyrics. We arrive at my house shortly, leaving me disappointed. I was having a good time singing.

Frank opens my door, before I even realize he got out of the car. I unbuckle and try to get out of the car, falling as I do. Frank laughs at my awkwardness and so do I.

"Bye Frank. We should hang out soon. Call me." I shout back at him, entering my home. I hear his tires rolling away, and I run upstairs, knowing I'm going to regret what I'm about to do. I walk to the bathroom and open the door, faced with my enemy, the razor. I pick it up, scared. I know I shouldn't. But I want to. Really badly. I sigh and put it down, then lay on the slightly soggy rug, closing my eyes to sleep.