Blood Soaked Arrows (On Hold)

(25) Finding Secrets

After Daryl left the room it had lapsed into an uncomfortable quietness. The only sounds in the building now were the light whistles of the sleeping members, the hushed whispers of tree leaves rubbing together in the breeze, and the almost soundless noise of Daryl’s boots as he walked down the halls. The normally soothing sounds however did not comfort me. My mind was still filled with the discussion me and the Dixon had just had.

I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip and looked out the window when I realized that Daryl and I hadn’t truly had a discussion; it had been more like a debate on who should be listen to who and somehow I had lost. Maybe it was my torn feelings that had muddled my thought process but a part of me denied the fact that I had been ruled by any kind of emotion other than the mean to survive.

I was so torn and so utterly confused as to what I should be concerning myself with or feeling that it made my head spin. Parts of our conversation were replaying themselves over and over again until I was questioning everything. Daryl was obviously watchful of me but had denied any notion that he cared about me. He was always making snotty remarks about how I couldn’t handle things by myself when I had done nothing to prove otherwise. He couldn’t worry about my safety and not care for me at the same time…could he?

His thoughts towards me were a paradox on their own but what were even more puzzling were my feelings towards him. It was obvious that we shared some kind of connection with each other because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to stand the other, and I knew that I cared for him on a personal level because the thought of him leaving, whether it be death or by his own choice, scared me. In one sense I liked him but it wasn’t great enough to be infatuated with him either.

I let out a long groan from the headache I had ended up giving myself. I wasn’t used to all of these emotions or questions but somehow I knew that it wouldn’t have been any easier for someone else if they had been put in my positions…especially with a Dixon. Gradually I accepted the fact that understanding my feelings and sorting out what Daryl’s meant would take some time and I left it at that.

I raised my head up from its slump and looked out the window that I was guarding. The blue moon was still high in the sky with dark clouds threatening to hide it at any given moment and everything else repeated the same motion with each breeze. Taking in the outside world calmed me until even my headache had vanished. Watching the blue tinted scenery filled me with a sense of peace and when Daryl returned from his ground check, I felt as if the whole conversation that we had had happened days ago.

“Nothing?” I asked routinely but kept my eyes trained to a section of the forest outside.

The floor creaked once again as he made his way over to his position and the air he brought in with him made it seem as if he had calmed down from our conversation as well. “There was a small patch of Walkers deeper into the forest but as long as we don’t draw their attention there’s nothing to worry about.”

I tried to spot them in the forest but they must have been hidden deeply in the shadows. “How many?”

“Twelve and a half.”

I looked over my shoulder with an arched brow. “Half?”

He rolled his shoulder at me as he stared out his own window. “Can’t really call it a Walker if it’s got no legs.”

I nodded slightly and looked back out the window. “Guess not.”

The room became silent once again but it wasn’t awkward or strange in anyway, it was just that we became engrossed in looking out our separate windows. Now that I knew that there were Walkers nearby I could hear the odd sounds of them but never once did they stray into the open field near our building. Soon the sounds faded and the night became a mixture of soft lulls and light hoots from owls. When we hit our two hour mark, signaling the end of our shift Daryl and I turned and looked at one another.

We both knew that we were the most alert and well rested out of the bunch and if we each went with a night of no sleep it wouldn’t affect either of us the way it would have if anyone else did it. With that silent look we both agreed to let the group rest.

When the sun came up the next morning I felt a little groggy and annoyed from the lack of sleep but it wasn’t something to really worry about. I had gone without sleep for months back when I was training at the CDC so I was still able to remember what true exhaustion was and what I felt right now didn’t even scratch the surface.

Rick however didn’t get that though and scolded Daryl and I for not waking anyone else up for a shift, but that was to be expected especially since he had become this uptight leader ever since Shane died. It annoyed the crap out of me when he yelled at me for stupid shit and sometimes I just wanted to smack him. At the same time however I knew that even though his leadership ethics were a bit rash, he was exactly what this group needed to survive. So I left him be and took my beatings with my head held high.

Sophia gave me a sullen look when she figured out that I hadn’t technically ‘slept’ with her like I had promised, but I figured that she would get over it rather quickly and left her alone. I had assumed that Sophia would go off and complain about me to the only peer she had here Carl, but then I noticed how she didn’t so much as glance in the young boys direction and wondered what had happened between them.

I decided that it was something I would ask her about later when I noticed everyone picking up there belongings. I hadn’t brought anything in with me besides the clothes on my back and some weapons which were all strapped onto my person. I made my way over to Hershel and Beth when I noticed that they had brought in a bunch of stuff and decided to help them out.

They had brought in extra blankets and sleep bags for the group to sleep on as well as coolers of food that was about to go bad if it wasn’t eaten soon. I grabbed one of the bigger coolers and stacked some blankets on it before picking it up and hauling it to their car.

“Are you going to be okay with a day of no sleep?” Beth asked as she followed behind me.

I gave a little shrug. “I’ve gone with months without sleep before so I know my limit and one night isn’t enough to affect me.”

“The CDC really did a lot of things with you huh?”

I felt a knot in my stomach turn. “Yeah, but I was never alone.”

She quickened her pace until she was walking beside me. “You mean your brother Adam or were there others?”

I glanced over at Beth for a split second before clicking my tongue against my teeth. I had talked about the CDC before without any trouble or remorse but somehow it felt odd to talk about them now…to talk about Adam now when we were so close to Fort Benning. Swallowing down whatever mixed feelings I was experiencing I told her, “There were others but they weren’t as special as me and Adam, some of them would do exceptionally well at their survival training but when it came to becoming immune they failed in the first trials.”

“How were they tested, the trials for Immunity I mean.”

We had reached the back of their truck so I quickly loaded the stuff into the back. “They would become infected with some of the most dangerous virus and have to concur the sickness with their own will.”

“What happened when they couldn’t become immune?” She asked with a strained voice.

I finished packing the stuff into the car and reach over for the things that she was carrying. “The ones that weren’t as promising as Adam and I were terminated.”

Her face looked paler than normal. “Do you mean that they died?”

“Some of them were in too deep with whatever virus they had been infected with so yes people died and others were just let go.”

“That sounds horrible.” She said in a disgust tone. “I didn’t realize that the CDC was such a harsh place and for them to infect people with such dieses….”

I shut the back door of the car soundly and turned to the young girl. “You have to understand Beth that the CDC was conducting these trails so that they could create the perfect human solider. There were bound to be some casualties and the people that had volunteer for it were well aware of the risks. Adam and I were just lucky enough to have deformities in blood that allowed us to become immune.”

I could see it in her eyes that she was still having trouble with the thought of people dying in the Origin Project but there was nothing else I could say that would ease the innocent girl’s uneasiness. “How old were you and your brother when they started these trials?”

“Two I think… and Adam was enrolled when he was six.”

“That’s so young.” Beth gasped and gave me a mixed look of pity and horror. “How could they do such a thing to children?”

I gave a shrug and started walking back to the building. “If their bodies are already immune to diseases by the age of nine then the doctors would be able to go into the next phase of their project by teaching them to fight and survive.”

“Is that why Adam was sent to Fort Benning? So that he could learn how to fight?”

“No,” I sighed. “Adam was sent there for protection after the breakout because he wasn’t fully immune.”

“But you’re immune,” She pointed out. “and he’s your brother so shouldn’t he be too.”

I fisted my hands into my pocket and looked over at her. “Adam isn’t related to me.”

“Then why do you call him your brother?” Beth asked confused.

“Because that’s what I thought of him as.” I spoke softly. “When Adam started to show progress during the trails some of the doctors thought that it would be best to put the two of us in the same trail group even though I was far more advance than he was. He followed me around like some new trainee for weeks on end and I thought that he was the most annoying little shit ever. After a while he grew on me you know and then one day we had just thought of each other as family.”

She gave me a nod and a gentle smile that made my own lips ache to do the same. “I think I can understand that.” I noticed the way her eyes roamed around the group until they settled on Carl.

“Maybe,” I whispered more to myself then to her. I hadn’t really seen her and Carl be in the same place let alone talk to one another so it was hard for me to believe that she understood mine and Adam’s connection.

“You said his name was Adam right?” She asked suddenly with her gaze still focused on Carl.

“Yea,”

“And the people at the CDC called you Eve.”

I turned to look at her more bluntly and stopped walking. “That’s right.”

“So you two were known as Adam and Eve?” Her eyebrows knitted themselves together.

“I don’t think I know where you are going with this.”

She pulled her gaze away from Carl and focused on me with a perplexed expression. “Adam and Eve were the first people that God created to inhabit the earth. They were the first married couple as well and…you said that the program that you were in was called Origin. Isn’t that a bit strange to you? I mean it almost sounds like the CDC wanted you and Adam to be together and started a new race.”

I felt my throat turn dry with each word she said and by the end of her rant my throat was so parched that I felt that if I coughed I would spit out blood. I swallowed what saliva I had left in my mouth and licked my cracked lips. “They did but when I found out about it I was instantly against it. I even talked to Dr. Candace Jenner about it but by then we had much bigger problems to worry about.”

“How old is Adam?” She asked randomly.

“Thirteen I think….why?”

“Isn’t that the time when boys hit puberty? I mean I’m no doctor or anything but I have had some experience with guys and I remember being in middle school and having all of these boys chasing after any girl they could get their hands on. Do you think he had a crush on you or anything?”

I let out a loud laugh as soon as she had uttered the words. “Adam? A Crush on me? Ha-ha I don’t think so.”

“But he’s a boy who’s been with you for years, and from what I can tell you seem to be the only girl he’s been with that is close to his age. He had to have had a really big crush on you.” She declared. “It would be odd if he didn’t.”

“Trust me,” I denied. “Adam thinks of me as a sister and that’s the end of it.”

She dragged out her sigh and lifted her hands up in surrender. “If you say so.”

We left it at that and made our way back into the building, passing by a few others on their way out, and grabbed whatever was left inside. After we had gathered the last few things we headed back to the car that Hershel and Beth were going to be riding in. Seeing Hershel standing behind the truck with a bunch of medical supplies in his hands made me remember the promise I had made Daryl the other night.

Beth and I put the things away quickly and then she and Hershel exchanged a few words before she went off to help Lori with packing supplies into her car. After Beth left Hershel’s eyes locked onto me and a frown formed on his face.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

I let out a sigh and reached a hand up to soothe the stiff feeling that had been bugging my neck since yesterday. “Daryl thinks I need a checkup.”

“Mmm,” He grumbled and took a few steps closer to get a better look, lightly touched the side of my chin. “Has it been bothering you?” He asked in a doctor like manner and gently he guided my head to the side and used his other hand to move the collar of my shirt over to inspect the wound.

I grunted at the tight feeling I felt beneath his hand. “It’s stiff occasionally but other than that no.”

“Have you gotten a fever or experienced any headaches?”

“No,” I answered and from the corner of my eye I could see his lips pucker in thought.

After lightly turning my head around a little more and probing at the closing wound he finally released me. “Seeing as how you don’t get infections or contract any illness I think it’s safe to say that your body is just healing. The stiffness will probably go away by the time we take those stitches out.”

“How long until that?”

Hershel reached down and picked up the blankets he had been carrying back to the car when I had stopped him. “Seven days...maybe ten if you break a stitch.”

“Ten?” I groaned unattractively.

“It was a deep bite.”

I huffed. “I guess so.”

“It’d be in your best interest to put on some heavier clothing too.” Hershel eyed my leather jacket, jeans, and boots. “I doubt you’re immune to freezing to death.”

I looked down at my ensemble and smiled sheepishly. “I would put on some heavy clothing but at the time I had left the CDC I had thought that I would only be gone for a month…maybe two.”

“I’m sure some of the others wouldn’t mind lending you something-

“I’d rather not take other people’s supplies.” I interrupted. “They might need them.”

With my gaze trained on the ground I wasn’t able to see Hershel’s expression but his voice held a softer tone to it when he spoke, “I’ll talk to Rick then and we’ll make another supply stop.

“Thanks.” I spoke softly and turned away from him. I wasn’t used to asking people for things so I felt a little awkward and embarrassed for having Hershel concern himself with me, and even more so for having him ask Rick to add a stop in our trip for something I needed.

I noticed Daryl carrying some supplies out of the building to what seemed to be Carol’s car, and instantly that embarrassed feeling in my chest intensified. I dragged my feet all the way over to Carol’s car like a shy child would and waited for him to notice that I was there.

“What?” He asked once I was next to him.

With my chin pointing towards my chest I quickly muttered. “Got my stitches checked.”

“Hmm,” he hummed and pushed whatever he had been carrying into the back of the truck. “What’s the verdict?”

I shrugged a little bit and rose my eyes up to his chest. “Said that they would be gone in a little over a week if I didn’t break a stitch.”

“Seems like a long time.”

I shrugged again and inched my gaze a little higher. “It was a deep wound.”

The trunk door slapped shut, snapping my eyes up to attention away from Daryl’s hard chest and up to his serious face. His blue eyes held my gaze and sent a shock through me that was so intense it made my knees tremble. “I knew that.”

The blurry memory of me falling into Daryl’s arms from the blood loss that I had lost because of that wound flashed in my head and I found my gaze falling down from his eyes to his chin. “Right.”

There was an awkward feeling sizzling in the air between us and the longer the silence stayed the more uncomfortable I felt. I shivered suddenly and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the strange are emanating for us or the chilling breeze, but either way I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Cold?” I jump slightly at Daryl’s sudden question and met his blue eyes once again.

“A little.” I spoke still on the edge of surprise over his concern and rubbed my hands against my arms. “but Hershel’s talking to Rick about making and extra stop on the way to Fort Benning so I’ll be fine til then.”

“Well if ya’ need anything Carol wouldn’t mind sparing ya’ some stuff.”

“Thanks but I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I replied and noticed Daryl taking a few steps closer to me.

“About Fort Benning,” Daryl paused for a second until he was close enough for me to feel the heat from his body. “If things don’t turn out like ya’ hoped and Adam isn’t there,”

My teeth clipped together at the idea of Adam not being there. “He will be.” I assured him.

He sighed and gave a little shake of his head. “But if he isn’t I need to know that ya’ won’t lose it again.”

I dug my nails into my upper arm, remembering how I had reacted to hearing that the CDC and Fort Benning were overrun. “I won’t.” I spat and averted my gaze to the ground.

“Good.” Daryl spoke in a clipped tone. “Then if the place ends up being overrun with Walkers I can trust that ya’ won’t be reckless and run into the herd right?”

“I would never be so careless.” I stated firmly.

“I never know what you’re going to do.”

I looked back up at him. “I guess the same applies to you right?”

Something flashed behind his blue eyes and his features became a little more relaxed. “About what I said last night-

“Are you going to be riding with us?” I turned to see Sophia running over to me and Daryl with an excited smile on her face and Carol hot on her child’s heels.

I couldn’t help the small smile that dawned on my own face. “Sorry Sophia but I have my own beast to drive.” I hiked a thumb to my ‘tank’.

Her smile wavered for a moment before her child like gaze wandered over to Daryl. “What about you?”

Daryl rolled his shoulders back and turned his body towards her. “Got my own ride.”

My smile inched upwards from thinking that Daryl was referring to my ‘tank’ as well. Sophia however did not seem so pleased with the idea and frowned at the two of us. “How come you two are always excluding me? Is it because you guys are ‘dating’ now or something.”

I felt my body stiffen and eyes grow wide but before Daryl or I could say anything Carol had caught up with her daughter. “Sophia.” She snapped in a motherly tone and then looked up at us apologetically. “She didn’t mean to pry.”

Automatically I awkwardly started to shake my head and hands at her. “It’s fine really,” My voice had hitched up an octave when I turned my attention back to Sophia. “Daryl and I aren’t dating sweetie we’re just….we’re just.”

Whatever I was saying just seemed to die off there and suddenly I was wondering what exactly I was to Daryl? I cared for him and I knew he worried about me but was that it? I turned to Daryl when I wasn’t able to figure it out.

His cool blue eyes were locked on Sophia but I got the feeling that he wasn’t really looking at her, the way he was positioned almost made me think that he was waiting for the rest of my sentence. A rush of heat warmed my cheeks and instantly I looked away from him. “We’re just good together.”

I saw her tiny eyebrows scrunch together with confusion and quickly went into an explanation. “Daryl and I are both good shots, we can both track and hunt for food, and we know our way around a fight.”

Sophia kept that confused look on her face for a couple of seconds and for a moment I thought I was going to have to come up with some other bullshit to say but then the little crease in her forehead went away and she was smiling. “Okay I think I get it.”

I let out a relieved sigh and smiled. “Good.”

Sophia looked between Daryl and I and her smile grew larger. For some odd reason it didn’t look like an innocent little smile anymore but something more like she had figured out some big secret. I found myself frowning down at the child who I sometimes believed was younger than what she really was. Whatever secret she had unraveled in her head stayed there for the girl simply smiled and wondered away, humming a happy tune.

Daryl looked over at me as if I was able to decipher the little girls thoughts. I tighten the strap of my crossbow and walked over to my ‘Tank’. Not long after that Rick went over the route we would be taking to Fort Benning. He pointed out how we were still avoiding highways and other busy roads as much as possible which left us with a lot of detours. When he was done explaining what routes we were going to take he had somehow managed to turn an hour drive into a little over six hour one.

Just thinking about how long I was going to be stuck in my tank made my legs feel numb but despite how long the drive was going to be I couldn’t help the little ball of anticipation curling up in my stomach. In just a few hours we were going to be at Fort Benning and I was finally going to be reunited with my brother Adam…well if he was still alive.

Out of my peripheral vision I caught Daryl, T-Dog, and Glenn lifting Daryl’s bike off of the back of our newly acquired truck. Seeing that wiped the small smile I had off of my face. When the bike was firmly steady onto the ground Glenn looked over at Daryl.

“Are you sure you want to ride your bike? It’s starting to get cold out.”

Daryl swung his crossbow off of his shoulder and dropped it into the holster on his bike. “The cold doesn’t bother me.”

“I’m pretty sure motorcycles don’t run well in the snow.” T-Dog added and sank back into his jacket.

“Don’t see any snow.” Daryl snorted and swung a leg over the side of his bike.

“What does Evie think about this?” Glenn took a step away from the bike.

I noticed Daryl’s shoulder become rigged and heard the harsh tone in his voice once he spoke. “I’m not her bitch.”

“I thought you were friends.” T-Dog said dumbfounded.

Daryl looked over his shoulder at him right as he started up his bike. Even though I was close enough to hear their conversation I wasn’t close enough to see the look he gave him. Whatever it was though it must have been fierce because T-dog’s eyes were wide with shock and when Daryl reeved the engine T-Dog stumbled backwards.

Daryl’s eyes found mine in the distance and I could feel his cold hard glare like a punch in my gut. I had thought that we were on good terms again after what had happened last night, and to stay on those good terms I had even gone out of my way and bugged Hershel to give me a checkup because Daryl had demanded it. From the looks of it however I had done

something to piss him off yet again and now we were back to square one.

I ground my teeth together at how ridiculous this was all getting and turned away from him before I became even more pissed. Knowing that we were going to be leaving here pretty quickly I headed over to my ‘Tank’ and scooted behind the wheel.

From the sidelines I watched Daryl slowly maneuver his bike around the other cars until he was up front. He turned around to the car behind him and gave a little nod before reeving up his engine. Rick who was in the Suburban with his family raised his hand out the window and gestured to us. With that little signal we all started up our vehicles and hit the road.