Kay's Diaries (Louis Tomlinson)

Fourteenth Entry: The Arshole

Sunday and after I just finished writing B&S, (which has officially 37 chapters) I decide to bring you the entry that belongs to chapter 27 and 28 of Bitter & Sassy. Happy reading!

Dedication to @Isa_Styles115. I think it's legal to have many OTPs... I certainly have MANY of those xD

Bel, xx

PS: This entry is quite the stream of consciousness...

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Fourteenth Entry: The Arsehole

Fuck everything!

Yes, Roger, I’m mad. I’m beyond pissed. I— okay, count to ten: One, two, three, four, five… FUCK YOU, LOUIS TOMLINSON! I can’t believe how big of a douche he is, how inconsequent! I get he has issues unresolved and he is still so hurt, but he can’t even be consequent with his own words.

All what he says is that he doesn’t care about me and he hates me and all that crap and I must admit I sometimes actually believe him, sometimes I do think I’m just wasting my time and I should just walk away, forget about him and carry on with my life because he will never love me back. I swear sometimes he makes me believe that! But then he looks at me, he touches me and I tell myself he has to feel something, too. It can’t be only me.

I know I should be happy that he is jealous because, oh God, he is beyond jealous, but he doesn’t need to be a dick to others. I mean, Dave didn’t do anything to him and I wasn’t flirting. I know when I flirt, for crying out loud! I wasn’t even trying. Dave is sweet and funny, but he doesn’t wake anything inside of me like Louis does. Dave is hot, but I just don’t feel attracted to him. Yet Louis acted like I was drooling over Dave. I felt insulted. He didn’t say it, but I felt like he was yelling at me whore. And it brought sour memories to my mind, you know? I’ve been called whore so many times I can’t keep track anymore. Louis didn’t say it, but I saw it in his eyes and it made me mad, so mad at him.

So here’s what really happened and I know that if he knew he would kick himself in the balls.

I was watching the interview when I hears someone saying “so this is One Direction.” In Italian of course. So at that I reacted and Davide was there, next to me, and smiled at him and when I did I recognised him from the interview. Of course I told him I think he is great and he has an amazing voice. I mean, the kid is talented! We can’t deny that. So the told me thanks and asked me what I was doing there, and I answered, saying that I was with the lads because I’m making a documentary. He told me he was trapped because there were so many fans outside that he was afraid to go out and he knew they were there for One Direction. We laughed at the way he put it and all that. Friendly conversation! Nothing else. He even asked me for the documentary and kind what other things I do. He even asked me for advice because he wants his videos to be better! I told him I could give him the number of a great friend of mine here in Rome and he was delighted. And that’s when Louis came to scene.

Does that sound romantic to you, Roger? No, because there was no flirting!

Dave is sweet and he has this innocent thing around him. He is hot but I don’t like him that way and I can’t believe Louis reacted that way. The poor Dave doesn’t deserve a rude, obnoxious guy being like that to him when he did nothing wrong. It’s not Dave’s, nor mine, fault that Louis can’t even accept his feelings.

Louis is jealous. That’s why he reacted like that but he has no reason to be jealous!

And then when he denied it, when he kept insulting Davide even when he did nothing wrong I just lost it. I absolutely lost it. If he wanted to be jealous I was going to give him a real reason to be, so I said I had a date with Dave, which wasn’t true, of course. I just wanted him to be hurt.

I swear, Louis brings my worst side. I feel bad for saying that, but I couldn’t control myself.

I didn’t have a date with Dave, but I went after him before he left the building and told him I could take him to my friend immediately if he had time. So we went out… for business. I introduced him to my friend and all we talked about was about moviemaking stuff.

Let me tell you how flirtatious that is.

But Dave noticed how pissed I was. He is very perceptive, you know? He could see there was something wrong with me. Once Pietro (my friend) left (after reaching an agreement with Dave that they were going to meet again with his team) Dave asked me what was wrong. I don’t know why, but I told him about Louis and how mad I was for what he did. I apologised for what it seemed the millionth time and he laughed. He told me it was evident that Louis was jealous. “And you should make him even more jealous,” he told me with a sweet smile, “Until he accepts it.”

So hoping we could run into Louis he took me to the hotel and Louis was there. I didn’t expect him to apologise, but I didn’t expect him to challenge Dave to a football match either! What’s going on in that little head of his? What is he planning? Dave says he is only trying to prove me that he is great, but I doubt that. Louis didn’t try to win Eleanor back, and he loved her, why would he try to compete with Dave for me? It makes no sense!

Ugh. Louis seriously gives me headache. I don’t even know what’s gonna happen now with this whole match. We’re about to leave to the venue and I have a bad feeling. Dave is good, he told me that if he hadn’t gone to X Factor and tried to become a singer, he would’ve been a football player, so he is very good. Like all Italians, maybe? And he is bringing his band along.

Well, at least it’s gonna be an interesting match. And now I have to leave, they are probably in the lobby already and I should shoot some scenes of this match for the documentary.

Later, Roger.

Kay, x