Capture It

t h i r t y

"Do you love her?"

"Of course." I said putting some gumbo in my mouth.

"Are you in love with her?"

"I'm sorry, but nah."

"You in love with Sila?"

"Nah, that's my baby though."

"Well who the hell are you in love with?" She snapped. She's pregnancy hormones had her like a raging bull.

"Can I be in love with myself? Is that okay with you?" I chuckled. "I'm content and happy and I don't need the stress no more Zey. Last time I stepped in trying to be a good man and helping out, that wasn't enough. I gotta shitted on. Obviously I was doing something wrong. Whatever I did wrong, I apologized for but the relationship was toxic regardless. Now I'm in a place of happiness and it ain't no going back."

"Landon pleaseeeeee." She cried.

"I'm happy Zey. I believe I deserve this."

"Why you can't be happy with Sav?"

"Sav not even happy with herself. She can't be happy with someone else."

She sighed and I felt bad cause it genuinely sounded like she was stressed. "So what do I do? I ain't happy with her right now but that's my sister Lan."

"What can you do? Kidnap her from him? There's nothing to do but pray that she wakes up before it's too late."

The line fell silent but was soon filled with her sniffles.

"Don't cry Zey, you can't stress about this. You hurting my lil godson."

"I just don't wanna lose her that's all."

"I'm sorry man."

"I understand." She sniffled. "You can't keep sacrificing your happiness for hers. Life's too short."

"Yeah, exactly."

"Well tell Sila I said hi and I'll talk to you later."

"Aight I'll talk to you later. Take care."

"You too."

I hung up the phone and continued the meal I was cooking adding my final touches. Everything I told Zey was the absolute truth. I loved Savannah, always would. However, I will not sacrifice that happiness that it took me all this time to find to try and accommodate to her wants and needs.

What she actually needs is to stop trying to find love in everyone else and find it in herself. She seems to need so much love in her relationships and its detrimental. If she found that love within herself she could give love and not always depend on others to give it back to feel complete.

I shook those thoughts away as I fixed Sila and I's plate. Sila's favorite drink was gingerale so I poured some in a cup and poured myself some pomegranate acai vitamin water.

She seen me coming out the kitchen with our food and pulled out the personal TV dinner tables. I sat my food on mine and hers on hers. I went back and got our drinks sitting them down nicely. Before I sat down I refilled Marley and Chocolates food and water bowls.

Once settled we prayed over the food before digging in.

"Zey said hi baby."

"Aw, that's who you were on the phone with?"

"Yeah."

"Something involving her sister? Your ex?"

"Yeah, making bad decisions."

"Hope everything's okay."

"I hope so too."

We finished up our dinner and were now watching Bring It.

"Baby, I can talk to you right?"

"Yeah, what's up."

"You know I don't really talk about her and her business cause I don't know if it's my place or not. But if it involve me and my feelings and what I lived through that give me the right to talk about it right?"

"Exactly."

I gave her a rundown of everything id been through from the time I met Savannah up until last year leaving her in Atlanta, excluding her personal business of course.

"So I say all that to say, am I wrong if I don't feel like I owe her anything else? Any of my time or anything?"

She sighed furrowing her eyebrows, that's how I know she was thinking. I loved talking to her because she always gave unbiased responses.

"I think.. Okay well first of all you still love her?"

"As a person who played an important role in my life. Yeah, sure."

"If you contact her.. In what way do you feel like you can help her?"

My eyes darted around the room as I thought about her question I looked back at her and sighed. "I don't know what I can offer her."

"Nothing?"

"Like what can I do? She don't wanna talk to me unless I'm trying to be in a relationship and after everything I told you I would be a dummy to do that."

"Hm, honestly I don't know babe. I really like you Lan so if you decide to be with her or whatever what can I do? I personally feel like she doesn't deserve you but it's not my place to say that you know."

"I got somebody who appreciate me. Don't stress it, I was just thinking. But a nigga on you."

She smiled and I leaned in passionately kissing her lips and she leaned back allowing me to hover over her.

"I'm bout to get up innat." I smirked.

"Please do." She giggled.

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Another one and another one lol

How yal feel?

- Yoyo ❤️