Even After Death

Chapter 45

Chapter dedicated to parrotlet for voting/commenting/reading. Thank you. Hope this is heartbreaking for it as it was for me to write.

They all said things happen for a reason. But Steve couldn't think of one. Him and the team sat in the waiting room, waiting.

Waiting for a nurse.

A doctor.

Rae.

Slightest bit of news.

His left knee bounced up and down as he held his closed entwined fists over his mouth. Everyone had been patched up, but Steve had refused help.

"Steve, you need to calm down." Natasha said to him. He jerked his head to her.

"How can I calm down? She's in there, possibly dying, and it will be all my fault. I should have protected her better. I should...." He trailed off, tears threating to slip.

"Steve, that could have happened to any of us." Everyone looked at Thor. "Lady Rae, she is a warrior. The strongest of us all. She will get through this, she'll heal. Her wounds will make her stronger."

Steve shook his head in denial. Rae was his friend and he let this happened to her. He had broken his promise to Bucky. He licked his lips as the door opened. He shot up and moved to the bloody doctor.

"How is she?" His first question was asked.

"She responding to the treatment nicely. But we did have some complication during surgery." Steve stiffened. "She went into cardiac arrest three times but we managed to get blood to her heart. We safely removed all bullets. No further damaged was created."

"What are her injuries?" Sam asked, coming up to stand next to Steve.

"Two collapsed lungs, broken collarbone, two shattered ribs along with two broken, broken shoulder, and a minor concussion." The doctor stated to everyone. Wanda cocked her head at the doctor.

"What aren't you telling us?" She asked him. The doctor looked at her and stiffened his jaw.

"What aren't you telling us?" Tony said, his voice held authority and hardness.

"While on the way into surgery, Miss Donovan slipped into a coma. We don't when or if she'll wake up." There were different reactions from all the team.

Clint sat down quietly into his seat, head pressed into his hands.

Wanda's hand went to her mouth and one wrapped around her waist. Vision stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulder, in comfort.

Thor stiffened and hardened. He looked away outside as lightening lite the sky. The fear of a storm increased as he held back his emotions as best as he could. Not wanting to show weakness but for Lady Rae, he would.

Bruce stood there, silent. He thought of Rae as a daughter. A daughter he couldn't have. A daughter he always wanted.

Natasha reaction was different. She was very still, no emotion graced her face. Then she turned, leaving the hospital.

Tony followed after. His only comfort was working. Working and working. To get his mind off what was running through his mind, of what he had seen and what he had heard. He too, thought of Rae as a daughter.

Sam. Sam was shocked, scared, horrified. A tear had fell down his face. The first one since Riley's death. Rae was his best friend, his little tracker. His 'Bucky-finding-tracking-buddy'. Guilty had risen in his blood stream for not being there. He had turned to Steve, in worry.

Pietro and Steve reactions were similar but different. Pietro stood in his spot, guilty. Thinking that it should have been him, not her. He had not known her along but she felt to him like Wanda did. He was frozen, not knowing what to do, to say or what emotion to show on his face.

But Steve. His reaction was the quietest but hardest of them all. He started down at the blood on the doctor's clothes. His jaw hardened, remembering her face as she fell to the floor. Her tears, her blood,.........her pain. All the memories of her flashed through his mind. But one thing stayed on his mind and never left.

He broke his promise.

In the worst way possible.

"Steve?" He felt a hand placed on his back. He jerked away, walking away from it all.

Sam had found him in the tower gym. Slamming his fists into a punching bag. He gave a huge shove of his fist and the bag broke off the chain.

"Steve?" He turned to him. Sam shook his head at the bag. "This will not help her get better."

"You heard the doctor. She won't wake up." Steve said kicking away the broken bag. He lifted another one, playing it on the chain and going back to beating it. He pulled his fist back but it was caught by Sam. He turned to him.

"What would happen if she woke up, not seeing you next to her? How do you think she'll feel or even think? You're her best friend. She was even dating your other best friend. You're just going to fully break your promise and let her die?" Sam questioned him.

"She's already dead." Steve whispered. Sam's head flinched back a little.

"Really? She still has brain activity. She can feel, can hear, even respond. She still has a heartbeat. She's not dead, Steve. She's still alive, and breathing. Waiting for you....to go and take care of her. Not because you have too but because you should want to. She's been your friend since the 1940s. I read all the reports. All the things she's done for you and she's didn't have to do them but she did. Taking care of you and the rest of them when you guys got her." Sam explained to him.

"She needs you. She needs you to be next to her. Holding her, loving her. Encouraging her to wake up. To be able to get that heart surgery, to be able to live. To be able to see Bucky again. She needs you to do that for her. No one else."

Steve slowly walked into the door. Quietly closing the door, not to disturb anyone. He walked closer, placing a bag on the ground. He sat down in the chair and look at her fully. All the bandages, blood appearing through them. Glancing down at her pale, unmoving hand. He grabbed it gently, careful don't to hurt her even more. He held her cold hand in both of his, warming. He pressed her hand close to his mouth. Kissing it softly, tears slipping down his cheeks. His thoughts moving a million miles an hour, trying to find the words to say.

"Hey Rae......................"