Broken Wife

BW- Travel Time

Four weeks have passed but we're still living in his condo. One month na rin pala kaming nakatira dito. But we still haven't consummated our marriage. We had several intimate moments but we never really went into the real thing.

Lex always tell me how much he values and respects me and I find that very sweet pero hindi ko maiwasang mainis. Palagi kasi akong nabibibitin. Andun na kami eh pero bigla nalang siyang titigil dahil gusto daw niya na kapag ginawa na namin yun, yung handa na daw talaga ako para sa kanya.

Hindi ko nga rin naiintindihan yung sarili ko. Why does it seem like I want to give myself to him? Have I forgiven him already? Each day I keep on asking myself the same question but until now, I still don't know the answer. How could I forgive him that easily?

I still love him there's no doubt in that but I don't know if love is enough to set things straight. I mean, the damage had been done and I don't know if we would still be able to fix it. I don't know where to start.

Naputol ang pagmumuni-muni ko nang biglang sumulpot si Lex sa aking likuran.

"Hey, what are you thinking?" He said and wrapped his arms on my waist. I hate it when he is this sweet to me.

"Hmm, nothing." How I love to feel his arms around me. I feel secured and loved.

"Lex?" I whispered.

"What is it, baby?" He said while burying his face into my neck.

"I'm still not used with this. You know, you being very sweet, caring and loving to me. I still can't believe this is really happening to us." Until now, I still think that maybe this is not real and he is just making this up for revenge. And I'm afraid to fall for him again.

"Hon, look at me." He held my chin and looked into my eyes. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. His eyes hold a lot of emotions, emotions that I couldn't decipher. If there's one thing that I love the most about him that is his eyes. I am in love with it.

"I love your eyes, Lex." I didn't know why I said that. I just felt like saying it.

"How I wish you would love me too again." Sadness filled his face. I never stopped loving him but I couldn't just tell him that right now. I don't want to. I'm still not ready.

"Grace, look, this isn't just some sort of an act. All of this is not an act. What I am to you right now is the real me. I love you and that is not a joke." He said and he looked very serious. I closed my eyes after hearing those. How I wish it's that easy to convince myself.

"Let's just forget it, okay? Let's not talk about it anymore. I'm sorry I've started it." I had to stop this dahil hindi ko kakayanin yung sobrang emosyong nararamdaman ko ngayon. It's like any moment I would just breakdown.

"Okay but please don't think that I am just fooling you. I've been an *ss before but there's no way I would hurt you again." He said and kissed me torridly.

"I have a surprise for you." He said after breaking the kiss. He's holding my face while still catching his breath.

"What is it?" Instantly, excitement rushed into me.

"We'll be out of the country tomorrow. So you better pack your things now, Hon." I was shocked. We're going what?!

"What do you mean?"

"It's a surprise. I can't tell you yet. I'm sorry, love." He gave a peck on my forehead and squeezed my shoulders.

"Just pack your things, okay?" He said while heading his way to the kitchen.

Nagkibit-balikat na lamang ako. Ano naman kaya yung surprise niya sakin? Sometimes, Lex is really unpredictable. I went to our room and packed my things.

Kinabukasan, nagising ako sa mahinang pagtapik sakin ni Lex. The moment I opened my eyes, it was still dark.

"Lex, isn't it too early to wake up?" I sound a bit pissed. Well, who wouldn't be? It's still very early. 4 am pa lang ata ngayon eh.

"I'm sorry, Hon but I forgot to tell you that we'll be leaving by 5 in the morning today." He said and pinched my nose.

"Ouch, you know you're not supposed to do that. You should have told me last night para naman hindi ako nagagalit ng wala sa oras." I quickly got off the bed and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I haven't finished packing my things yet kaya nagmamadali akong magbihis.

"Where are we going, Lex? Kailan tayo dun?" I asked him. Katatapos niya lang magshower kaya naman hindi ako makatingin ng diretso sa kanya.

"Hmm, a month maybe." Aah, 1 month pala kami dun. Wait, what?! 1 month?!

"What?! Bakit ang tagal? Teka, saan ba talaga tayo pupunta, ah?" Nafru-frustrate na ako. I've been dying to know.

"Relax, Love. I'm sure you'll love the place. Now, we better get moving. Ayaw mo naman sigurong mahuli sa flight natin, diba?" He's grinning like an idiot. Pero cute pa rin naman siya. Pero kahit cute siya naiinis pa rin ako. Ayaw ko ng pa-suspense, it's not that I have traumatic issues in here I just hate the feeling of being thrilled.

A satisfied smile was plastered on my face as I looked into my luggages. Siguro naman kasya nato sa one month. Hindi na kukulangin ang damit ko niyan. Tinignan ko ang orasan, it's already 4:45 kaya naman tinawag ko na si Lex para magpa tulong sa bagahe ko.

"Oh Jeez, did you bring our whole room with you?!" Lex asked in horror the moment he glanced at my things.

"What? Is there any problem with that? Kung hindi natin dadalhin yan, hindi ako sasama sayo! Mag-travel ka mag-isa mo!" I'm trying to piss him and I think it's already working. Akala niya siya lang marunong mang-inis? Ako din no and mine is even worse because my way is much more annoying than his.

"N-no! We'll bring all of that. I'll carry all of that. Are you satisfied now?" He said and went directly into my luggages and started carrying some of it.

"Yeah, I'm more than satisfied, love." I intended to use an endearment para naman hindi masyadong sumama yung loob niya. I can't help but to smile. I'm beginning to enjoy this and a devious smile flashed my face.